[Champion Concept] - Legion, the Lone Survivor (ADC)

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Tolemak1985

Senior Member

09-05-2012

Well after reading everything that has been posted here, there is not much I can add. You have a very interesting champion here. So few people build champions that require thought to play. I can see this one being difficult to start out with, but once mastered would be a nightmare on the field.

Best of luck to you and all your other champions, as promissed I have returned the favor of you looking over my champion concept "Legion, The Hive Mind."


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MentalPause

Member

09-09-2012

Hey DryRun,

You really ran with the theme, and the transition from Ranged to melee seems very polished. Everything seems to feel like it belongs there, nothing seems out of place. If I had to nit pick at anything it would be the Stealth on the ULT. Not that stealth is bad, but wouldn't it be slightly more "fluffy" if instead when he takes damage and the ghost deals damage he then absorbs it gaining a small shield effect? Or movement even? Either one would allow him to better re-position himself, while adding that longevity your looking for, while keeping the feel.

The lore is well done. If I can comment on anything with certainty its that.

Conclusion: Its a unique look at an all around kind of fighter. He's mainly Ranged, but has really neat abilities to counteract his weaknesses.


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DryRun

Senior Member

09-10-2012

Thanks for stopping by guys! Yeah i really like the idea that as a ranged (with the stats to boot) he benefits from being up close, so the added AS up close makes you want to play crazy with him. Im going to take a look at the ult, MS would probly be just as good! and less...yeah thanks for the look!


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DryRun

Senior Member

12-30-2012

bump


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Sigismund

Senior Member

12-30-2012

Lore:

Quote:
Flow (4/5): Lore is good, and no more than one or two mistakes exist
Theme (5/5): Lore fits perfectly into existing LoL Lore
Interest (3/5): Lore was good enough to catch the reader's attention & in garnering interest in the champion, albeit with some difficulties
Total: 12/15 x2 = 24/30
The Lore was well written and made good use of existing lore. The only two significant concerns that I had were:
1) More detail could have been given about the regiment Legion was a part of. What were they known for? What distinguished them from the others? What defined them both as warriors, and as inhabitants of their city-state/nation?
2) Why was legion in stasis, and why does he live on as the combined consciousness of his regiment, and not as an individual? Was it a spell that backfired, or something else?
These two factors are the only things that I feel are holding your lore back.

Disciplined:
Quote:
Balance (1/3): Ability is seriously imbalanced (either overpowered or underpowered), and should not exist in its current form
Originality (3/3): Ability is unique and brings something new to LoL
Intuitiveness (3/3): Ability synergizes well with the champion’s role and is easily understood

Total: 7/9
This ability is original and easy to understand, but my concern with it is that it adds next to nothing to Legion’s gameplay early on, and only becomes noticeable at later levels. A level 1 Legion will only receive 2% crit chance, which doesn’t feel very satisfying due to the fact that it effectively becomes sheer luck as to whether or not it’ll do anything against his opponent. Later levels make the ability more noticeable, but even with 3 abilities on cooldown, this ability doesn’t do much pre-level 6.
My suggestion would be to give it a base amount passively, or make the first stack give more than the others, and readjust the numbers accordingly. The only other change I’d recommend would be to make the ability’s effect stay constant, instead of making it increase when he reaches levels 6/11/16; Crit chance is a multiplicative stat, and 30% crit chance is going to be as good early game as it will be late game.
Tryndamere is a good example, because his passive has a somewhat similar effect, and gives him the same stat (crit chance), but it requires that he remain in combat for an extended period of time before reaching 30% crit chance.

Schiltron:
Quote:
Balance (1/3): Ability is seriously imbalanced (either overpowered or underpowered), and should not exist in its current form
Originality (3/3): Ability is unique and brings something new to LoL
Intuitiveness (3/3): Ability synergizes well with the others and is easily understood

Total: 7/9
This ability is a pretty neat effect, it reminds me of Fiora’s riposte, but has a stronger effect, and is reliant on where Legion is facing, although I had two main issues with it:
1) The lesser concern is that your wording (brace, next enemy to comewithin melee range) seems to imply that this spell immobilizes your champion, which would be a deadly thing for a position dependent ranged ad carry to do.
2) My main concern is the spell’s duration, which is too long in my opinion. Most reactive spells, primarily riposte/spell shields, have 2-3 second durations, with the duration decreasing as the effect grows stronger. You essentially force the opponent to wait 4 seconds or get hit by heavy damage + a knock up.
Clarifying the wording would make its effect clearer, and reducing the duration would make this ability feel more “clutch,” and would make it less frustrating to play against.

Gladius:
Quote:
Balance (1/3): Ability is seriously imbalanced (either overpowered or underpowered), and should not exist in its current form

Originality (2/3): Ability differs itself somewhat from existing champion abilities and still adds something to LoL

Intuitiveness (1/3): Ability is needlessly complicated and does not synergize well with the champion's role
Total: 4/9
This ability is an interesting take on a dual ranged/melee hero, though it is otherwise similar to existing steroid skills. You run into the problem that the player has to either manually move closer to the enemy with each attack, or hope that the enemy is melee and closes in on them. Unlike other ranged/melee champions whose attack ranged changes, Legion simply gains attack speed when attacking an opponent who is at an arbitrarily determined range (I’m assuming 125). You’re accomplishing something similar Jayce/Nidalee/Elise’s ranged/melee form swap, where the melee form receives buffs over the ranged one, but you’re doing so at the cost of an ability, and accomplishing it in an unintuitive manner.
The attack speed numbers also seem to be a bit on the low side, both the duration and the buff amount seem a bit on the low side when you consider that he’s a ranged carry who has to get into melee range to benefit from it at all.
I’d recommend either changing the ability so that the active grants him a bonus regardless of whether the enemy is in melee range or making it a toggle that sacrifices his range in return for attack speed, though either of those could still have some of the issues I’ve mentioned above.

Pilum:
Quote:
Balance (3/3): Ability is well balanced, both its effect and its numbers appear to be reasonable

Originality (3/3): Ability is unique and brings something new to LoL

Intuitiveness (3/3): Ability synergizes well and is easily understood

Total: 9/9
A pretty neat ability, the thematic effect of it summoning ghostly legionnaires is cool, and it’s a straightforward ability. My only concerns is that the delay between his throw, and his legionnaire’s throw might be too high, making it too difficult to hit a champion with both.

Centurion:
Quote:
Balance (2/3): Ability has some minor imbalances that either strongly encourage or discourage the player from choosing it over the other abilities

Originality (3/3): Ability is unique and brings something new to LoL

Intuitiveness (2/3): Ability is either too complicated or lacking in synergy, but not lacking in both areas

Total: 7/9
This is a cool ability, and it fits Legion well thematically, but it seems a bit weak in my opinion. The stat bonuses are a bit on the low side, and the duration could potentially be too high if he gains kills/assists.
The invisibility/damage return is a cool idea, but it has the same problems as LeBlanc’s illusion: Legion doesn’t actually have any control as to when he goes invisible, and its low duration gives him little time to capitalize on it.
I would find another way to make the invisibility proc, because getting hit is exactly what he should be avoiding, considering that he is an AD carry. The other suggestion I’d make is that I’d remove the bonus duration on champion kill/assist, it doesn’t seem necessary, considering its already lengthy duration, and removing it could give you more room to buff the ability if it is on the weak side.

Champion (Overall):
Quote:
Balance (1/3): Champion kit is seriously imbalanced (either overpowered or underpowered), and should not exist in its current form

Originality (3/3): Champion kit is unique and brings something new to LoL

Intuitiveness (2/3): Champion's kit is either too complicated or lacking in synergy, but not lacking in both areas

Interest (4/5): Champion kit was captivating and effective at drawing in the reader & making them interested in the champion.

Total: 6/9 x2 + 4/5 = 16/23
You’ve created a unique champion that has a cool set of abilities, but I don’t think they’re the right fit for a ranged AD carry. He has the necessary steroids, but two of his abilities require that he enter melee range in order to use them, which is the last place a ranged AD carry should aim to be, and the manner in which he gains the melee bonuses seems akward considering his longer attack range. His lore was well written, and I’m positive that a few tweaks, such as making his abilities have an effect regardless of whether he is in melee ranged of his opponent or not (specifically his W, Gladius), would help make him a competitive pick.

Final Score: 74/98

Don't hesitate to argue with me about an aspect of my review, be it a particular score you disagree on or an item that you think should/shouldn't be included. I'm still refining the process, and constructive feedback is always welcome. More information about the scoring rubric can be found here: http://na.leagueoflegends.com/board/....php?t=2952952


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DryRun

Senior Member

12-31-2012

thanks for the great review. you gave me lots to think on. you have argued against the part of this champion that I have my own doubts on, so you have really helped my clarify what needs work. thanks very much for the review.


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DryRun

Senior Member

01-10-2013

Changes in response to the enlightening review by Sigismund;

Passive - changed to flat 8%, kinda meh early (like carries should be) but by level six after you combo you can be running 25% crit chance for a few seconds, thats not ignorable.

Q - defined how its not a self root. shortened the duration to two seconds, increased the slow to a noticeable amount, reduced the knock up to half second.

W - made it scale slightly at all distances, making it increasingly more dangerious to approach Legion. Also added a scaling defense as he get cornered. my main idea with legion is to counter pick against teams with lots of melee. ashe can kite, cait has mega range, corki can fly - Legion makes his stand and fights it out getting stronger as they come at him, but trading position if his team doesnt support.

E - added the click and drag aspect i think it makes this skill very cool. lots more skill involved, lots of options - skill to hit, lots of possible damage, lots of possible range at cost of damage. this spell will get whipped out all the time for lots of reasons.

R - reduced the extending duration....scaled the duration.....little bit of stats buffs. i kept it mostly the same. the idea with the spell is finally allowing him to reposition a little in fights. Maybe you drew them in looking out of position, say aren runs at you, you stop him in his tracks with Schiltron, using the slow to back out, as other enemies try to approach to us your skill shot click and drag to hit a couple with slows. all this time the closer they were the more damaging your dealing. after a few seconds of course enemies will reach you. then you pop your ult. not only is this your time to output as much damage as possible, but you are as fast now as those bruisers and have chance to get away, if you also have a few brief chances to slip away or juke them.


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Imperium Omnium

Junior Member

01-18-2013

I smell Mass Effect


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DryRun

Senior Member

01-19-2013

Ah i get it, because of the same name. Just a heads up, the name Legion refers to a biblical passage of a person possessed by many demons. Basically since the bible is used as source material for generally everything that doesnt source ancient Greece stories, anyone who has multiple people inside himself will be named Legion. So where you smell Mass Effect (a great game btw) you could also smell -
Legion from the X men comics,
Legion from Green lantern,
Legion from ghost rider,
Legion from the game Shadow man,
Legion from command and conquer 3,
I could do that all day but i wont. Just know there are a lot of Legions out there, hmmm, maybe thats the plan?
Anyways, i hope the next comment come in the form of a constructive criticism of Legions abilities, lore, and/or stats. Thanks for stopping by though.


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Imperium Omnium

Junior Member

01-19-2013

Quote:
Originally Posted by DryRun View Post
Ah i get it, because of the same name. Just a heads up, the name Legion refers to a biblical passage of a person possessed by many demons. Basically since the bible is used as source material for generally everything that doesnt source ancient Greece stories, anyone who has multiple people inside himself will be named Legion. So where you smell Mass Effect (a great game btw) you could also smell -
Legion from the X men comics,
Legion from Green lantern,
Legion from ghost rider,
Legion from the game Shadow man,
Legion from command and conquer 3,
I could do that all day but i wont. Just know there are a lot of Legions out there, hmmm, maybe thats the plan?
Anyways, i hope the next comment come in the form of a constructive criticism of Legions abilities, lore, and/or stats. Thanks for stopping by though.
No problem buddy but I doubt that this legion idea would stem out of a biblical passage, and what not i think it's safe to say that he's a ranged ADC (he carries a widow around). And I can't imagine (could be wrong) that you took him out of Ghost Rider or Green Lantern. That being said where did you get your inspiration from?