Carpus, the Incarnation of Sin

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Script Lord

Senior Member

05-15-2012

"Your deepest desires, the darkest urges residing in your soul - I have become them..."


Lore:

Quote:
While most in Ionia seek enlightenment through positive means or seek to maintain a balance, not all hold this same sentiment. There was once a monastery that sought empowerment through the channeling of a raw energy generated by all beings: that of desire. These monks trained themselves in the art of drawing from and, eventually, suppressing this power, until eventually a conflict divided the brotherhood into seven sects, each focusing on a different desire. After many decades of feuding in secret, they all faded away from existence, never to be seen again. Carpus was raised in secret by his father, a former monk who had learned and mastered all Seven Forms of Desire, and trained to wield the raw power of desire. Eventually, Carpus was forced to murder his own father using the powers he had acquired and as a result was driven mad.

Over time he became an abomination that should never have existed. The perverse desires of others that he had drawn power from had twisted him into an inhuman being that is now compelled by the most vile vices of all sentient beings, cursed to embody all of the soul’s darkest urges. However, deep within even this creature of immense vice there rests a hopeful desire – the monk residing in the core of the sinful being wishes to be cleansed of the dark desires and returned to his former self…

General:
Quote:
Roles: Melee, Fighter
Resource: Fury
Attack range: 150
Attack speed: 0.475 (+0.225)
Damage: 48 (+6.6) {160.2}
Health: 425 (+90) {1955}
Fury: 100 (Manaless)
Move speed: 315
Armor: 16.75 (+3.65) {78.8}
Spell block: 30 (+1.25) {51.25}
Health regen: 7.66 (+0.76) {20.58}
Mana regen: 10

Abilities:

Quote:
Attachment 503208
(Passive) Insatiable Desires – The Sins of Greed, Gluttony, and Lust are the unquenchable urges to satisfy oneself physically through different means, as such the covetous find themselves unable to ever have enough of what they seek. For every enemy he kills he regains 5/10/15% of his max Fury.


Attachment 503213
[Q] Distant Sloth – The Sin of Sloth is the refusal to act, as a coward refuses to interact with the world around him. Upon command, Carpus releases a shockwave which deals 40/60/80/100/120 (+0.5) magic damage to all enemies within his proximity and reduces the movement speed of each enemy champion by 25% for 1.5/2.5/3.5/4.5/5 seconds

Cost: 15 Fury
Range: 600
Cooldown: 10/9/8/7/6 seconds


Attachment 507807
[W] Violent Wrath – The Sin of Wrath is the irrational drive to cause harm, as the blood-thirsty seek to destroy all in their path.

Passive: Carpus’ basic attacks deal additional magic damage equal to 1% AP for every 1% health he is missing

Active: The attack speed of Carpus and all allied champions within range of him increases by 4/6/8/10/12% for 4 seconds

Cost: 20 Fury
Range: 700
Cooldown: 12/11/10/9/8 seconds


Attachment 503209
[E] Reproachful Envy – The Sin of Envy is the malicious resentment of others, as the jealous often seek to cause misery to others.

Passive: Carpus returns 2/3/4/5/6% of all damage he takes back at the attacker (Unavailable during cooldown)

Active: Carpus’s next attack will deal additional magic damage equal to 6/8/10/12/14% of his missing health (+0.25 AP)

Cost: 30 Fury
Range: 0
Cooldown: 15/13/11/9/7


Attachment 503212
[R] Glorious Pride – The Sin of Pride is the glorification of oneself over all else, thus this is the greatest vice that one can commit. When activated, Carpus will take 25/50/75% less damage from all opposition and deal 20/40/60% more damage for 5/7.5/10 seconds. If slain while in this state, he will deal back 30/60/90% of his max Rage (+1.0 AP) as magic damage to whoever slew him.

Cost: All Fury
Range: 0
Cooldown: 128/93/58 seconds

Quotations:

Quote:
(Selection)
"My existence is the greatest sin..."

(Movement)
"I can almost taste your sins..."
"Yes."
"Very well, Summoner."
"Patience is a virtue."
"As you desire."

(Attacking)
"Their desires are nearly palpable!"
"Death to all!
"You can not hide from Sin."
"Resistance is futile."
"I will take all of your vices."

(Distant Sloth)
"Begone, pests!
"Cower before me!"

(Violent Wrath]
"Destroy. Everything!"
"Everything will die!"

(Reproachful Envy)
"Take it all back!"
"Feel my resentment!"

(Glorious Pride)
"You insignificant bug!"
"I cannot be undone!"

(Taunt)
"You will suffocate from your own desires!"
"The Sins of many will overwhelm your soul!"

(Joke)
"How......sin-sational!"

Animations:

Quote:
Standing idle - He stands while resting his spiked mace head-first on the ground in front of him
Running - He moves with the spiked head of his mace extended back behind his shoulder
Auto attack - He swings his spiked mace in an overhead arc, bringing it down upon the heads of his enemies
Taunt - He raises his spiked mace horizontally above his head, towards the sky, as he leans back
Death - He releases his spiked mace and falls forward to the ground, where upon his body releases multiple blood-red whisps
Dance - (Coming soon)



Note: I tried to be reasonable about effects in his abilities, but not too entirely certain about some percentages and values. The idea is that he's a tank that can soak up a lot of damage and use that to affect his battle prowess. I know he needs quite a bit of improvement, but I hope to get some kind of positive criticism and fair suggestions on how to improve him so he's viable.

Also, if it's not obvious enough, his entire theme revolves around the Seven Deadly Sins, which I can't recall seeing any (if at all) here yet. So, if his actual abilities must be changed to something else, I'd like to work within the context of Seven Sins.




Edit (5/16/12): Reduced an effect for his Passive, replaced the effect of his Ult with another, made his [Q] a pure activation, and gave his [E] passive tiers.

Edit (5/20/12): Completely changed his Passive, altered his [Q] to instead stun his opponents, and made the benefits granted by his Ultimate conditional to his health status.


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Roschack

Junior Member

05-15-2012

I'm quite interested in the concept of 'Vice'. Would you care to share more about how it works? And, by the way, it would be better if you would specify the 'certain range' that your passive covers.


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Script Lord

Senior Member

05-15-2012

Well, the resource of "Vice" is derived from a negative spiritual form of power, it's kind of like Chi except based upon carnal urges. I did originally consider just giving him the "Energy" resource, but that wasn't unique enough. It's similar to the resource of another champion of mine, Shanks the Karmic Bandit, who uses "Karma" as a resource.

Also, I listed the "certain range" that Desire: The Capricious covers. It's 300.


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Script Lord

Senior Member

05-15-2012

Bump for input


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Script Lord

Senior Member

05-15-2012

Anyone have any suggestions?


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Plorpmeister

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Member

05-15-2012

The very concept of a carry tank frightened me as I started reading this. As it stands, I think this would be a very overpowered champion. First of all, all of his abilities have passive effects. That means even if you aren't hitting buttons, you're doing something, and that just means unskilled play to me.

His innate simply does too much. Compared to, say, Fiddlestick's, it completely outshines it. Fiddle makes enemies take a little more damage, Carpus completely shuts down their ability usage and damage output.

For Sloth, what is the effect of Stasis? Can he be damaged? Is he untargetable? Also the stasis period on enemy champions on it is WAY too long. 5 seconds at level 5? That's forever in a game with this kind of pace.

Wrath seems relatively decent.

Envy has good synergy with Wrath, probably a little too good. The passive is also rather ridiculous.

His Ultimate once again just does too much. The Magic resistance tacked on at the end is completely unnecessary, he's already getting damage reduced by a percentage. Also, it may as well be a set amount, his max Vice is always 200. It's also a Damage Steroid, and movement speed buff too. And the cooldown is too low for everything that ultimate does.
Compared to Alistar's Ultimate: Unbreakable Will:
Cooldown: 120 / 100 / 80 seconds

Alistar instantly gains bonus attack damage (60 / 75 / 90) and takes reduced physical and magic damage (50 / 60 / 70%) for 7 seconds. If he is under crowd control effects at the time of casting, they are also removed.
Okay Alistar gains some extra AD, which affects his basic attacks. None of his skills use AD. Yours increases all damage, even the silly amounts of damage coming off passives of other skills. Alistare has more initial Damage reduction, but at max level you have more. Alistar's movement speed is unaffected. Alistar's cooldown starts pretty high, but comes down to a reasonable amount at a patterned rate (each level reduces the CD 20 seconds). Carpus's starts at a strange amount, and goes down by strange amounts (39 seconds, and 41 seconds).


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Script Lord

Senior Member

05-16-2012

Quote:
Originally Posted by Plorpmeister View Post
The very concept of a carry tank frightened me as I started reading this. As it stands, I think this would be a very overpowered champion. First of all, all of his abilities have passive effects. That means even if you aren't hitting buttons, you're doing something, and that just means unskilled play to me.

His innate simply does too much. Compared to, say, Fiddlestick's, it completely outshines it. Fiddle makes enemies take a little more damage, Carpus completely shuts down their ability usage and damage output.

For Sloth, what is the effect of Stasis? Can he be damaged? Is he untargetable? Also the stasis period on enemy champions on it is WAY too long. 5 seconds at level 5? That's forever in a game with this kind of pace.

Wrath seems relatively decent.

Envy has good synergy with Wrath, probably a little too good. The passive is also rather ridiculous.

His Ultimate once again just does too much. The Magic resistance tacked on at the end is completely unnecessary, he's already getting damage reduced by a percentage. Also, it may as well be a set amount, his max Vice is always 200. It's also a Damage Steroid, and movement speed buff too. And the cooldown is too low for everything that ultimate does.
Compared to Alistar's Ultimate: Unbreakable Will:
Cooldown: 120 / 100 / 80 seconds

Alistar instantly gains bonus attack damage (60 / 75 / 90) and takes reduced physical and magic damage (50 / 60 / 70%) for 7 seconds. If he is under crowd control effects at the time of casting, they are also removed.
Okay Alistar gains some extra AD, which affects his basic attacks. None of his skills use AD. Yours increases all damage, even the silly amounts of damage coming off passives of other skills. Alistare has more initial Damage reduction, but at max level you have more. Alistar's movement speed is unaffected. Alistar's cooldown starts pretty high, but comes down to a reasonable amount at a patterned rate (each level reduces the CD 20 seconds). Carpus's starts at a strange amount, and goes down by strange amounts (39 seconds, and 41 seconds).
Unskilled, perhaps. But just playing Carpus would be a sin and unforgivable in itself, wouldn't you agree? And Carpus is all about that sin....

Innate: Carpus is already doing damage with all of his other abilities, this one just makes it so it's hard for the opponent to get away quickly before he can take them out and punish them for using their abilities while in his close vicinity. It should be fine now, but I don't see why you'd need to nitpick this one anymore.

Sloth: Yes. He's untargetable and invulnerable.....Which probably sounds redundant now, huh? I'll change that in a bit. Also, yes. But this is his most essential harassment skill, otherwise he's just building on himself (with his other skills) by taking damage, this one gives him slight variety in battle by rendering opponents useless for a short time. Also, not too bad considering the enemy champion would become untargetable and invulnerable for that time, so if the shockwave didn't kill them they'd have the perfect opportunity to get away and recover (which is a major flaw you failed to realize).

Envy: I changed it so it's not a fixed damage return, instead depending on his level (starting low at 1 and being higher at 5).

Ultimate: Changed it a bit. Got rid of the Magic Resistance and increased movement at the end, and replaced it with a retaliation effect against whoever would kill him while it's active. And I know what Alistar's ultimate does, but this guys is not him, so don't try to put him to be as such. Carpus is only a tank because he can do way more damage the more health he has gone, and only a carry because with higher amounts of health and damage output in late-game he can pretty much secure a win for his team. If this makes him a bit OP, then okay, we'll try to make him less OP. Let's just agree to that.


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Script Lord

Senior Member

05-16-2012

Bump for input


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Script Lord

Senior Member

05-19-2012

Bump for input


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Script Lord

Senior Member

07-22-2012

I know this guy needs a LOT of work, but I'd like to make him be of a better quality than he currently is.