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To the Edge of Light's Reach (Lux/Katarina)

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Ariou

Member

08-23-2012

Only if it's bad that we are probably just as excited to read it.


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AerithRayne

Senior Member

08-23-2012

Quote:
Ariou:
Only if it's bad that we are probably just as excited to read it.


Yeay! A new voice in this thread. I'm glad to see someone else excited


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Loso

Senior Member

08-23-2012

Quote:
aerithrayne:
i can't wait until tomorrow morning to post this chapter. I've been working on it for weeks (instead of the chapters for the week xd). God i hope it's as good in everyone else's head as it is in mine. Assuming i don't add to it even more, it's the longest chapter yet.

Is it bad that i'm excited to share?


Stop teasing us =[


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AerithRayne

Senior Member

08-23-2012

Quote:
AhLoso:
Stop teasing us =[


Awh, I'm so sorry! I get up early(-ish) for class tomorrow, so it will be up soon ^_^


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AerithRayne

Senior Member

08-24-2012

I can't stop editing it. I keep picking at tiny things because I don't feel like I did the scene in my head justice. But I guess the time limit's up...
Chapter 8 is ready as soon as the site spits it out (as usual).
*places hands over eyes* I nervously await responses.
*peeks out from little space between fingers*


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Ariou

Member

08-24-2012

And so it is indeed up now. I do love seeing an email saying a new chapter has arrived. I dont have time to read it now but soon. Also, I promise a collective review for all chapters including some grammatical stuff by the end of this weekend hopefully.

As for something very brief, I have taken a great interest in your story. In particular, I am liking your portrayal of lux as someone who is pretty competent in melee combat and still having a fitting personality for her.


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AerithRayne

Senior Member

08-24-2012

Quote:
Ariou:
And so it is indeed up now. I do love seeing an email saying a new chapter has arrived. I dont have time to read it now but soon. Also, I promise a collective review for all chapters including some grammatical stuff by the end of this weekend hopefully.

As for something very brief, I have taken a great interest in your story. In particular, I am liking your portrayal of lux as someone who is pretty competent in melee combat and still having a fitting personality for her.


I'm so happy you're not only following me but also creating a dialogue with me! I appreciate it so much when someone talks to me and brings more than "it sucks/i like it" to the table. I eagerly await your review, and your grammatical fixes would be very much loved.

I'm glad you enjoy my portrayal of Lux. I got tired of the usual damsel-in-distress model she's been given, especially how badass her lore/background and judgment made her sound


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Ariou

Member

08-24-2012

Some grammatical stuff I noticed while reading. Bolded parts for what needs to be looked at:

**** Excerpts from story below ****

"Why did you even bother?" she asked, her voice muffled but Lux's shoulder. "I wanted to torture you until... until you beggedme for death. Look at what I already did to you. You had absolutely no reason to give a ****. I don't understand..."

I don't know whether it was you I wanted dead or the weak part of me.

"I'm glad you were for my first sobfest. Anyone else, I think it would have gotten messy."
(feels like something is missing there such as you were the reason for my first sobfest or there for me on my first sobfest etc)

Really good chapter, I very much enjoyed it. I'll go into much more detail later on but lunch break is over and I would like the time to give it a proper response.


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AerithRayne

Senior Member

08-24-2012

Quote:
Ariou:
Some grammatical stuff I noticed while reading. Bolded parts for what needs to be looked at:

**** Excerpts from story below ****

"Why did you even bother?" she asked, her voice muffled but Lux's shoulder. "I wanted to torture you until... until you beggedme for death. Look at what I already did to you. You had absolutely no reason to give a ****. I don't understand..."

I don't know whether it was you I wanted dead or the weak part of me.

"I'm glad you were for my first sobfest. Anyone else, I think it would have gotten messy."
(feels like something is missing there such as you were the reason for my first sobfest or there for me on my first sobfest etc)

Really good chapter, I very much enjoyed it. I'll go into much more detail later on but lunch break is over and I would like the time to give it a proper response.


I just caught the fourth one you mentioned myself a moment ago. Site's uploading the revised version. As for the "I don't know whether it was you, etc." line, poor wording, but the statement's fine. "I don't know if it was you I wanted to kill" is an equal replacement. I think I'll do that to eliminate confusion for other readers. Thank you for pointing these things out. I still can't believe Word allowed beggedme to go through :/

I'm so happy you enjoyed it! I was afraid that it sounded dumber now that it left my head. I was worried I couldn't do it justice.


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Ariou

Member

08-24-2012

I just read over the you I part and it finally clicked on me how it makes perfect sense as it is, haha. That just goes to show how my brain works at times, it honestly did not don on me at all to read it in another way.

And I can assure you that did the chapter justice. Very good read and the ending will easily leave anyone begging for more and needing to know what happens next.