(NEW CHAMP IDEA) Eegan, The Tarnished Golem ( NEED FEEDBACK)

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The Ogrelord

Member

06-14-2014

OK im working on a simple sketch and i will provide his visuals, lore, and his ability set. He is designed to be a Mage Tank.

Base Stats:
HP-550
HP Regen-.5ps
Mana-300
Mana Regen-1.5ps
AD-53
AS-0.725
Armor-13
MR-28
MoveSpeed-340
Range( idk what unit go for in actual distance on rift, this stat is simple comparison to Ryze.) 450




Visuals: Has a similar visage to Blue Buff Golem (post Visual Update) but his Color scheme regarding where blue buff is blue, he would be Purple. he is obviously top heavy and a giant rock so he is similar to Malphite without the chicken legs, huge dumb spikes, and wobbling problem. Eegan also has metal and glass augmentations.


Abilities:
Passive: (Tainted Blessing)Eegan gains bonus mana regen and CDR based on his Maximum Hp, Eegans blessing goes to his killer, but Lowers the targets armor and magic resist by 10/20/30. Buff duration lasts 30 secs, or Eegans total Death timer. Based on Level. Can be passed around like a normal buff.

Q:Costs 150 mana (Mana Cannon) The mana cannon is charged threw the mana steam from Eegans shoulder, and fires a concentrated skill shot that stuns and casts magic damage in an orb, dealing 25/45/55/75/90 Ap Damage at lowest charge, and at max charge it scales to 35/60/80/100/130 magic dmg +30% Maximum Mana as bonus AP. cool downs at 15/13/11/10/9 seconds

W:Costs 90 mana (Cursed Mana) Eegan vomits a spray of tainted mana dealing magic damage over time and slowing the afflicted in a cone shape. Dealing 20/40/60/80/100 AP +40% Max Mana as bonus ap. Cool Downs at 8/7/6/5/4 seconds

E:Costs 50 mana (Earthen Shell) Grants himself or any ally champion with a shield that grants 50% move speed, and 10/20/30/40/50 Bonus MR and Armor for 4 seconds. cools down at 10/9/8/7/6

R:Costs 100 mana (Gravitational Pound) Eegan jumps up and slams the ground with his whole body damaging and knocking up all enemies within the area of effect. Dealing 100/130/155/170/200 Magic Damage. Cools down at 60/55/40/35/20 seconds


Lore: Eegan was like any regular Stone Golem in his early youth. Golems are used in the human realm for many things, for sport, magic blessing, and certain people can think of some other uses. And it can be tough for a Golem. the Ancient Golem, one of the first to obtain the Blue essence, was cast out to become a punching bag in the humans Legaue of Legends to be slayed over and over for his crimes. But Eegan, with the Blue Essence family lineage he was destined for greatness. The golems are a race of pride and purity, pure of the Arcane that is. On the day of Eegans blessing ritual, he was taken from his home by Zaunian scientists accompanied by Viktor, for the examination of Golems and their use for scientific application, and lucky for him he wasn't put to a real test until he peaked into his adulthood. The studies made from him assisted in the creation of Blitzcrank and led to many breakthroughs regarding Zaunians understanding of magical essence monsters. Once Eegan was a full grown adult golem, the real trials began. He was put through painful augmentations and he was entered in an illegal monster fighting ring to test his limits. Within this process of tests and battles he lost purity of his mana flow staining his essence and he gained a human like sentience. In a fit of rage Eegan erupted from his bonds in the midst of night and he escaped Viktors grasp. Upon returning to his home the other Golems, instantly, rejected him. They felt that his tainted mana would cause a plague in their community. Now with no home he wandered threw the wilderness, and it was only a matter of weeks before he was located by Viktor. He couldn't be revealed to the public because the tainting of mana is a worldly criminal act and is one of the most harshly punished crimes. eegan returned with little resistance, he had nothing so why try to run? little did Eegan realize that his salvation was just around the corner. Within the year Viktor was shamed and lost credit for Blitzcranks sentience, and he went into hiding, and Later Viktor was assaulted by Jayce, and with his Lab and Lair scarred, jayce released many of the test subjects. Viktor lashed out with his death ray and injured Jayce badly so it was Eegan to bring Jayce back to Piltover. Jayce in return offered Eegan a new life in Piltover as a worker, but he only longed for the company of his people and, The Institute of War gave the Golem the chance to be with his Banished Ancestor The Ancient Golem.


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The Ogrelord

Member

06-14-2014

Basically Everything is up for change, maybe you want him to be a red buff monster or you think he needs a new kit or WHATEVER!!!! Just tell me what you think!!! PLZ!!!!!!!


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Voidizarre

Senior Member

06-14-2014

Quote:
Passive: (Tainted Blessing)Eegan gains bonus mana regen based on his Maximum Hp, Eegans blessing goes to his killer, but deals 10% of the afflicted enemies current HP as magic damage. Buff duration lasts 30 secs, or Eegans total Death timer. Based on Level.
Current health is too low, basically when they kill Eegan he would have put up a fight already and removed some of their health. Either make it missing health, or max health.

brb, game starting


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The Ogrelord

Member

06-14-2014

Quote:
Originally Posted by Voidizarre View Post
Current health is too low, basically when they kill Eegan he would have put up a fight already and removed some of their health. Either make it missing health, or max health.

brb, game starting
i thought that at the beginning but i thought a karthus like exection passive might be op and work less for an Eegan player to try not to die and pass around buffs. because if the enemy kills eegan, and his passive kills them what is the incentive for an eegan to have any survivability? im not really certain but if you still feel it requires the change to a higher output in damage ill write it in. i was thinking it was just gonna make it easy for an ally to pick it up.


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Dzanio

Senior Member

06-14-2014

Is this a ranged or a melee champ? If melee I can tell you he'll have trouble trading in a solo lane or jungle due to his lack of sustain mechanisms.

Quote:
Originally Posted by The Ogrelord View Post
Abilities:
Passive: (Tainted Blessing)Eegan gains bonus mana regen based on his Maximum Hp, Eegans blessing goes to his killer, but deals 10% of the afflicted enemies current HP as magic damage. Buff duration lasts 30 secs, or Eegans total Death timer. Based on Level.
Usually you don't die against an opponent who is at full hp(the time when %current health damage hurts the most). Also "on self death" abilities tend to be a little on average than other abilities since there's a heavy price associated with activating them. As such these abilities tend to deal a moderate amount of flat (usually true) damage (scales with level). Alternatively being based on % missing hp and dealing either physical or magic damage would also be good, although it would be harder to balance.

Generally I recommend cleaning up abilities so that they are focused around ideas. Your passive is split; it's a self buff which also has an activated component, and the two are not connected in any way I can think of (if you feel differently please explain). Cleaning things up helps prevent characters from becoming overpowered, and also helps players connect with the character.

I like the mana regen from the "modified blue golem" perspective, but in order for it to be relevant you'd need to make your abilities have higher than average mana costs, and I think that's redundant. Perhaps an aura buff? Would be more useful and scale better into late game. Depends on where you want to take this and whether or not you take some of my lore suggestions

Quote:
Q: (Mana Cannon) The mana cannon is charged threw the mana steam from Eegans shoulder, and fires a concentrated skill shot that stuns and casts magic damage in an orb.
This is an interesting mechanic, I love charged abilities; Xerath's kit contains two similar features, a charge up high damage nuke(q), and a single target stun (e). These abilities might give you a rough guideline for determining what numbers to start with.

I recommend having the charge time effect range, and then either the damage output, or the CC duration but not both. Charge skills are fun because they reward good player behavior, but you want to make sure they're not getting too much utility out of one trick.

[
Quote:
B]W[/B]: (Cursed Mana) Eegan vomits a spray of tainted mana dealing magic damage over time and slowing the afflicted in a cone shape.
Pretty straightforward poison effect. Since your champion has a strong mana theme you might think of having some of his abilities scale off your maximum mana as opposed to more traditional sources like AP. Ryze is an example of a champion like this.

Quote:
E: (Earthen Shell) Grants himself or any ally champion with a shield that grants move speed and bonus MR and Armor.
Appropriate for a golem, there have been similar abilities (Kayle's original w) in game in the past however the current design team favors health restoration or shields with ms boosts so that they're useful as more than just a chase or initiation ability. My only real critique is that it doesn't have a mana golem flare.

Quote:
R: (Gravitational Pound) Eegans
I hate being a grammar nazi, but there should be an apostrophe (') before the s to show possession
Quote:
augments allow him to increase the gravity on his body and he jumps up and slams the ground with his whole body damaging and knocking up all enemies within the area of effect.
I would stick to the Mana Golem theme; gravity manipulation is a bit of a leap to make from the "sentient blue golem" archetype. this doesn't mean he can't have a jump/slam ability here, but I recommend changing the flavor text. You might also want to differentiate this from Malphite's Ult a bit more; perhaps start by shifting the charge feature to this from the q.

Lore: Eegan was like any regular Stone Golem in his early youth, with the Blue Essence family lineage he was destined for greatness. The golems are a race of pride and purity, pure of the Arcane that is. On the day of Eegans blessing ritual, he was taken from his home by Zaunian scientists accompanied by Viktor, for the examination of Golems and their use for scientific application, and lucky for him he wasn't put to a real test until he peaked into his adulthood. The studies made from him assisted in the creation of Blitzcrank and led to many breakthroughs regarding Zaunians understanding of magical essence monsters. Once Eegan was a full grown adult golem, the real trials began. He was put through painful augmentations and he was entered in an illegal monster fighting ring to test his limits. Within this process of tests and battles he lost purity of his mana flow staining his essence and he gained a human like sentience. In a fit of rage Eegan erupted from his bonds in the midst of night and he escaped Viktors grasp. Upon returning to his home the other Golems instantly rejected him. They felt that his tainted mana would cause a plague in their community. Now with no home he wandered threw the wilderness, and it was only a matter of weeks before he was located by Viktor. He couldn't be revealed to the public because the tainting of mana is a world wide criminal act and is of the harshest punished crimes. He went back with little resistance, he had nothing so why try to run? little did Eegan realize that his salvation was just around the corner. Within the year Viktor was shamed and lost credit for Blitzcranks sentience, and he went into hiding. Later Viktor was assaulted by Jayce, and Jayce made a massive mess of his Lab and Lair releasing many of the test subjects and Viktor enraged cast his death ray and injured Jayce badly and it was Eegan to bring Jayce back to Piltover. Jayce in return offered Eegan a hobby in the only thing Eegan knew, Battle. So began the League of Legends newest Zaunian addition.[/QUOTE]

You could go into more detail regarding what life is like for a stone golem. The frustration of being summoned onto the Rift just so that champions can kill you over and over again -- you could even give him non-cannon backstory, such as by saying that this is a punishment reserved for the vilest of criminals. He gets loose, gains super golem powers, and bam champion concept. Zaun picks him up for experimentation and general mayhem purposes; Piltover's against him because -insert plot point here-. I think that would give him more individuality, but maybe that's just me.

Overall Impression:

Not a bad first attempt. Mostly you just need pick a theme and run with it instead of going off on a bunch of different tangents.


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Voidizarre

Senior Member

06-14-2014

Anyway, I suggest putting numbers so we can review it better.


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Dzanio

Senior Member

06-14-2014

Before posting numbers I recommend tweaking core abilities and lore so that the champion feels more streamlined. It will be easier to get an overall impression of Eegan's capabilities that way.


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The Ogrelord

Member

06-14-2014

Quote:
Originally Posted by Dzanio View Post
Is this a ranged or a melee champ? If melee I can tell you he'll have trouble trading in a solo lane or jungle due to his lack of sustain mechanisms.

he is intended to be ranged with slow and simple auto attacks.


Usually you don't die against an opponent who is at full hp(the time when %current health damage hurts the most). Also "on self death" abilities tend to be a little on average than other abilities since there's a heavy price associated with activating them. As such these abilities tend to deal a moderate amount of flat (usually true) damage (scales with level). Alternatively being based on % missing hp and dealing either physical or magic damage would also be good, although it would be harder to balance.


Generally I recommend cleaning up abilities so that they are focused around ideas. Your passive is split; it's a self buff which also has an activated component, and the two are not connected in any way I can think of (if you feel differently please explain). Cleaning things up helps prevent characters from becoming overpowered, and also helps players connect with the character.

I like the mana regen from the "modified blue golem" perspective, but in order for it to be relevant you'd need to make your abilities have higher than average mana costs, and I think that's redundant. Perhaps an aura buff? Would be more useful and scale better into late game. Depends on where you want to take this and whether or not you take some of my lore suggestions

Point well made, the death of Eegan should pose more gravity. it was intended to make the player more conscious of who he is giving buffs to. because like Blue it can be transfered to other killers. my idea was to not execute enemy slayer so that an ally may roam by and have a half blue buff. but i understand the appeal to a costly death related passive.



This is an interesting mechanic, I love charged abilities; Xerath's kit contains two similar features, a charge up high damage nuke(q), and a single target stun (e). These abilities might give you a rough guideline for determining what numbers to start with.

I recommend having the charge time effect range, and then either the damage output, or the CC duration but not both. Charge skills are fun because they reward good player behavior, but you want to make sure they're not getting too much utility out of one trick.

i will add the specifics to the chart now that people actually give a **** lol, and this is an excellent addition and ill take head to the One Trick idea.

[

Pretty straightforward poison effect. Since your champion has a strong mana theme you might think of having some of his abilities scale off your maximum mana as opposed to more traditional sources like AP. Ryze is an example of a champion like this.

I love you. you are a genius. as a split Damage tank its difficult to build an effective hybrid without champion stats to help in what scales where. definitely will be one of my changes.


Appropriate for a golem, there have been similar abilities (Kayle's original w) in game in the past however the current design team favors health restoration or shields with ms boosts so that they're useful as more than just a chase or initiation ability.

Are you suggesting to make it a heal or do you prefer the speedy shield?

I hate being a grammar nazi, but there should be an apostrophe (') before the s to show possession

XD HAHAHAHA alright, i did do that a few times didn't i?

I would stick to the Mana Golem theme; gravity manipulation is a bit of a leap to make from the "sentient blue golem" archetype. this doesn't mean he can't have a jump/slam ability here, but I recommend changing the flavor text. You might also want to differentiate this from Malphite's Ult a bit more; perhaps start by shifting the charge feature to this from the q.

That is what concerned me for the most part, the story fitting the ability, and i was kind of horny for a knock up. lol anyway, point being i do want this to be a ground slam knock up and i was originally thinking that the flavor text was a decent sprinkle of his augments on top of his Golem nature. but in a way i see where the idea falls a little too far. the cannon was probably a hefty enough addition for the augmentation to be described. ill fix it.


Lore: Eegan was like any regular Stone Golem in his early youth, with the Blue Essence family lineage he was destined for greatness. The golems are a race of pride and purity, pure of the Arcane that is. On the day of Eegans blessing ritual, he was taken from his home by Zaunian scientists accompanied by Viktor, for the examination of Golems and their use for scientific application, and lucky for him he wasn't put to a real test until he peaked into his adulthood. The studies made from him assisted in the creation of Blitzcrank and led to many breakthroughs regarding Zaunians understanding of magical essence monsters. Once Eegan was a full grown adult golem, the real trials began. He was put through painful augmentations and he was entered in an illegal monster fighting ring to test his limits. Within this process of tests and battles he lost purity of his mana flow staining his essence and he gained a human like sentience. In a fit of rage Eegan erupted from his bonds in the midst of night and he escaped Viktors grasp. Upon returning to his home the other Golems instantly rejected him. They felt that his tainted mana would cause a plague in their community. Now with no home he wandered threw the wilderness, and it was only a matter of weeks before he was located by Viktor. He couldn't be revealed to the public because the tainting of mana is a world wide criminal act and is of the harshest punished crimes. He went back with little resistance, he had nothing so why try to run? little did Eegan realize that his salvation was just around the corner. Within the year Viktor was shamed and lost credit for Blitzcranks sentience, and he went into hiding. Later Viktor was assaulted by Jayce, and Jayce made a massive mess of his Lab and Lair releasing many of the test subjects and Viktor enraged cast his death ray and injured Jayce badly and it was Eegan to bring Jayce back to Piltover. Jayce in return offered Eegan a hobby in the only thing Eegan knew, Battle. So began the League of Legends newest Zaunian addition.
You could go into more detail regarding what life is like for a stone golem. The frustration of being summoned onto the Rift just so that champions can kill you over and over again -- you could even give him non-cannon backstory, such as by saying that this is a punishment reserved for the vilest of criminals. He gets loose, gains super golem powers, and bam champion concept. Zaun picks him up for experimentation and general mayhem purposes; Piltover's against him because -insert plot point here-. I think that would give him more individuality, but maybe that's just me.[/QUOTE]


You, are probably the most intelligent person who i have ever had talk to me about my ideas. i appreciate the feedback to no ends! you have truly done me a great service and i give you my thanks.


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Dzanio

Senior Member

06-14-2014

The e comment was not really a suggestion either way, more just a comment to think about - especially now that I know he's a ranged champion and therefore not likely to want to dive in headfirst. Mechanically it's perfectly valid as is, but it feels like an ability I'd put on a different champion.


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Dzanio

Senior Member

06-14-2014

As for the passive buff... hmm... Half blue buff, and then only the mana regeneration portion is not something I think's strong enough by itself. I like the homage to the golem buff, but mechanically it seems a little too difficult to get working correctly. If you like the on death-> buff concept then perhaps instead of a transferred buff you could just have it grant an instantaneous or short duration boost to nearby allies. Something like an instantatneous large move speed boost and % missing mana restored, or short duration moderate speed boost and % missing mana restored. Either way pretty bad for a solo laner, but it would be awesome in a support role.


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