Full Moon at the Solstice (Leona and Diana)

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Maeleene

Senior Member

08-01-2012

This is very good. I don't think it's formatted for easy reading, though. Part of that is the forum set-up, of course, but I'm sure there's some way to alter a bit so it's easy to read. I found myself line-jumping a lot as I read, which is terrible when you're in the middle of a great sentence.

Nit-picking aside, I love the way you portrayed Leona especially. We don't know that much about Diana yet, but there is an abundance of info on Leona. With all that, she's all too often portrayed as some religious zealot with no other attributes to her personality. The truth is, she has a lot of depth, and you captured that very well here.
I hope Diana turns out to be as wonderful as you've written her, as well. You have a knack for capturing the shades of grey, so to speak. Kudos!


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swan2swan

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Senior Member

08-01-2012

Quote:
Originally Posted by IronStylus View Post
This is not torture at all! This was extremely touching!

I very much love it when the relationships between champions are explored. We were hoping to set up a ripe environment for story exploration with Diana and Leona. In fact, we were intent on it!

Again, very nice read! Runaan forwarded this to me and I read it on your site and then found it here.

Excellent job! Keep up the good work!
I don't think I'm going to be able to play Diana at all now.


Because I'm dead.


*dies*



...but I died happily. Thanks!



Quote:
Originally Posted by Cerubois View Post
A red! Catch him so he can sticky the Index! :P

On topic: Very nice story! Just the right mix of everything, in my humble opinion.
You might want to double space the paragraphs on this forum though. It's a bit straining with these background colours.
Back from the dead now.

Thanks a lot! I'll work on the formatting.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Maeleene View Post
This is very good. I don't think it's formatted for easy reading, though. Part of that is the forum set-up, of course, but I'm sure there's some way to alter a bit so it's easy to read. I found myself line-jumping a lot as I read, which is terrible when you're in the middle of a great sentence.

Nit-picking aside, I love the way you portrayed Leona especially. We don't know that much about Diana yet, but there is an abundance of info on Leona. With all that, she's all too often portrayed as some religious zealot with no other attributes to her personality. The truth is, she has a lot of depth, and you captured that very well here.
I hope Diana turns out to be as wonderful as you've written her, as well. You have a knack for capturing the shades of grey, so to speak. Kudos!
Again, I'll work on the format.

And yeah, I view Leona as a "Person Who Needs to Help Everyone." A woman raised in a culture where the purpose is "KILL ALL THE THINGS" and decides "No, that's mean" is definitely not going to be a zealot of any sort.

Thank you so much for the comments!

...and if that was a Fifty Shades reference, I cut you.


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Eredaar

Senior Member

08-01-2012

Quote:
Originally Posted by IronStylus View Post
This is not torture at all! This was extremely touching!

I very much love it when the relationships between champions are explored. We were hoping to set up a ripe environment for story exploration with Diana and Leona. In fact, we were intent on it!

Again, very nice read! Runaan forwarded this to me and I read it on your site and then found it here.

Excellent job! Keep up the good work!
hey another leons/diana one shot( so far) was posted by Grand Viper you should check it out it is really good


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Yasako

Senior Member

08-01-2012

Quote:
Originally Posted by swan2swan View Post
...and if that was a Fifty Shades reference, I cut you.
It probably was.


... No, I just want to see people getting cut.


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MTaur

Senior Member

08-01-2012

Leona is so gullible.

pls get smarter teenage Leona. Learn2sarcasm. But don't get mean. We like u, we just get when u embarrass urself.


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Ariou

Member

08-08-2012

I know you mentioned about formatting, but thing that really helps readability the most, for me at least, is double spacing the paragraphs. It makes it so much easier on the eyes.

I haven't read the story yet, but I am looking forward to it when I have the time


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swan2swan

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Senior Member

08-08-2012

Quote:
Originally Posted by Ark Angel HFB View Post
This fic was done so well I think it actually set the fannon of these two characters...

No really. No mater how I think of them I can not say that I disagree with how this fic portrays them.

I'm starting up a fic of my own and I think I'm going to aim it to be a kinda continuation of this... in a way.
Awesome.

Nah, the fanon for these two was set up before this...I just like keeping people in-character :P


Quote:
Originally Posted by MTaur View Post
Leona is so gullible.

pls get smarter teenage Leona. Learn2sarcasm. But don't get mean. We like u, we just get when u embarrass urself.
I laughed when I read this; but, yeah, when I came to that part and the idea hit my head, I decided that it would be a good part to the story. I'd already had Leona be this super-strong warrior who can detect people sneaking up behind her and wasn't fooled by Diana's lies, so I realized that she was rising too high. I didn't want to make her a Mary Sue, and I wanted her and Diana to be a little more equal (Leona has to be above her here, but not so far that she's unreachable). Thus, Diana got to win one of their exchanges.

Also, since Leona probably spent most of her childhood learning to fight, odds are that her skills of wit, reading, and writing were pretty low; it's probable that when she joined the Solari, she couldn't even read. The Solari would have fixed that, of course, but having her be sort of a "country bumpkin" type was a good, believable character "flaw" for her.

Besides, she's probably the really trusting type. Always looking for the best in people. If she sees a cupcake in the middle of the forest, what else could it be but a gift from someone really nice? It's a cupcake! Cupcakes aren't suspicious! ...and now I have her having Goku's personality from Dragonball Z Abridged. This may be the greatest thing I have ever done with her.


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MTaur

Senior Member

08-08-2012

Quote:
Originally Posted by swan2swan View Post
I laughed when I read this; but, yeah, when I came to that part and the idea hit my head, I decided that it would be a good part to the story. I'd already had Leona be this super-strong warrior who can detect people sneaking up behind her and wasn't fooled by Diana's lies, so I realized that she was rising too high. I didn't want to make her a Mary Sue, and I wanted her and Diana to be a little more equal (Leona has to be above her here, but not so far that she's unreachable). Thus, Diana got to win one of their exchanges.

Also, since Leona probably spent most of her childhood learning to fight, odds are that her skills of wit, reading, and writing were pretty low; it's probable that when she joined the Solari, she couldn't even read. The Solari would have fixed that, of course, but having her be sort of a "country bumpkin" type was a good, believable character "flaw" for her.

Besides, she's probably the really trusting type. Always looking for the best in people. If she sees a cupcake in the middle of the forest, what else could it be but a gift from someone really nice? It's a cupcake! Cupcakes aren't suspicious! ...and now I have her having Goku's personality from Dragonball Z Abridged. This may be the greatest thing I have ever done with her.
Diana should actually turn into a moonbeam and fly around in a sequel.

And I've done better things with Leona, but I can't post about them in the forums.

(Not really)


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MTaur

Senior Member

08-08-2012

The other thing is that I can imagine Leona not getting any of her friends' jokes, ages 10-15ish... Mind not acquainted with gutter enough. Poor thing.


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Ark Angel HFB

Senior Member

08-08-2012

Yeah I'm working through my fic right now and I've got Leona learning a bit about jokes... even getting to tell a decent one. and groaning at Diana's poor sense of what makes a good joke.

Basically I have Diana telling a few over the top corny jokes. And Leona kinda grin and bare through it. XD

My fic is more about Leona and Diana's relationship as well as what the Solari did to push her over the limit.


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