Hm... that's too much praise, haha. I just write, and re-write until it reads more professionally. No fancy tricks. That's the thing though, is that the word choice may be relatively sophisticated, but the structuring of the sentences themselves are definitely amateurish. You can't imitate structure, you have to learn it, and I ain't learn it yet.
WARNING: The last section of this chapter is extremely disturbing! I even feel like more of a rapist just for writing it, so please, if you are under 13, please skip over everything past...“I’ll see ALL of you, parts of you even you’ve never seen yourself, .” You won't be missing anything but a bit of a colorful characterization to Singed.
[CENTER] fail XD
It's exelent the same way
I see you know how to do a clifhanger ãh...
Can't wait for bext charpter.... I'm probably failing this week's test because of your almost flawless addictive fan fiction...
Well, in case you didn't know the name, cliff hanger is the technique of forcing your reader to read the next chapter by ending this one with something interesting about to start... Like the reaction Yi is going to have for Singed taunt.
It's a common techinique used at TV shows and Soap Opera...
Ps: you might have noticed by my horrible english that i'm neither american or britsh, so i don't know how TV shows are made in this countryies... Though if they don't use this thechinique they probably suck...
Keep on the good job, waiting for your next chapter
Yes, the center function seems to be failing hard for me. Thank you for enjoying it so much anyhow. And I use cliffhangers not because I'm good at them, but cliffhangers are almost necessary in fanfics-- given the chapters are released in a couple days apart from each other, you have to give the reader a sort of tension, an urge, to read the next chapter. Doubly so for mine, simply because I'm so bad at realeasing chapters at any steady rate.
Haha, thank you, sir. I'll add it to the small pile of hats that I've collected from my other 5 devoted fans I've won over the past months.
*glances with a slightly deflated look, at everyone else's huge pile of hats*
Oh well. I'm glad that at least people enjoy my writing. And Yi's my favorite champion, too. Such a badass character; it's a **** shame he's barely viable in high level games. That's kind of my wish, when I thought of the new abilities for Yi, to have a Master Yi with the difficulty of his abilities jacked up way high, so that he'll have more options in today's meta.
Yes, god, the ending. Do you feel like more of a rapist for reading it? Because I feel like I violated something with those three paragraphs there.
Singed seems more callous than sadistic in game than I actually portray him. It's all for the story's sake. While being a cold, callous ******* might work in-game, it doesn't make for an interesting character in writing. All in all, Singed seems more like Mundo, but at least you hate him now.
You can see this in other characters as well. Shen, for example, show much more emotion than his canon lore should allow. He watched his father get tortured without blinking an eye, but when Akali's involved, his facade cracks? Hm... that might make sense, but it doesn't fit the character that he is.
On the other hand, I extremely enjoy how I portrayed Jax and Ahri. I really feel I nailed their characters there. That's part of the reason why they've gotten so much of the spotlight so far.
PS: I totally added those last 3 paragraphs on a whim, at the last second before I posted it. No planning, just out of nowhere. I'm pretty sure Freud would have something to say about that.
Sorry about dragging it on, but there are some important details in this chapter. Plus, the story's not even close to done, so stay tuned!
Master Yi sat cross-legged in a dimly lit room. His eyes were closed peacefully in meditation; a feather duster lay harmlessly across his lap. A single candle burned slowly in a dish in front of him. He let the warmth sooth his aged body as he prayed to his ancestor ghosts, all of them masters of the Wuju style, for strength, and he prayed to the God of the Institute of War for victory. All this, he pleaded, as the candle slowly burned down to nothing. Darkness spread to every corner.
And then they struck.
Five, ten, fifteen figures, all dressed fully in black ninja gear, dropped down from the ceiling. They landed to the ground nearly silently. If the youngest of the clan had not made an almost inaudible-thump, for the junior had landed on two feet and a hand instead of all four limbs, Master Yi may not have detected them at all. But because of the young man’s carelessness, Yi struck.
“Yung!” Yi muttered, using the Ionian word for ‘hit!’, as a cloud of feathers blossomed from the hit.
Even if the room had been lit, no one could ever claim to have seen Master Yi’s feather duster whip out, and slay the junior ninja with a satisfying strike to the forehead. Nor could they have said to have seen Master Yi draw his two foot-swords, and fling them opposite side of the room; the blades carefully thrown as not to hit anyone. Master Yi ducked into Slipspace, and suddenly, the world burst into color. The ninjas all seemed to be wearing rainbows, and the walls melted and twisted with the bends and curves that the Slipspace created. The red tassels of his footswords seemed to burn black in the bright darkness that was the Slipspace. Yi dashed to one, dragging his feather duster in the real world, tripping a third of the ninjas with a strike to the calf. Yi grabbed his blade, and then dashed to the other, knocking down the other two-thirds with his extreme speed. The unfortunate junior ninja, the one struck first by Yi, was just getting back up, as he was run down again by the Slipspace-borne Master.
“Dai-Yung,” Yi muttered. Big hit, he muttered.
As Yi picked up his second foot-sword, he stepped back into the real world, and back into darkness. One of the ninjas tossed a phosphorus bomb, causing the room to light up from a light-blue flame.
He could see all fifteen of them now, slowly getting back up from their attacks. The Eye of the Twilight, Shen, solemnly stood watch over his subordinates from behind his mask in the far corner of the room.
Immediately, Master Yi ignited his feather duster with the power of the Wuju Prison. Ionian hexes and runes spread across the wooden stick, making it look much more menacing than the instructor’s disciplinary tool it actually was. All of the ninjas, wary, took an involuntary step back.
Smiling, Yi sat back down, laying his feather duster across his lap in the same position it was when he had started.
The junior ninja, apparently looking for revenge for his twice-over humiliation, struck first with a wooden blade approximately the length of a ninja sword. The young man moved so slowly, with his short sword raised high above his head with both hands. Yi had time to stand up, and strike the boy across the chest with the duster, immediately trapping the poor boy in a dozen different branch-like hexes and runes, and then sit back down. Feathers floated down all around the boy and Yi.
“Si-Yung,” Yi whispered. Kill.
The boy struggled helplessly against the slowing magic, off-balance, and then fell flat on his face; unable to throw his hands in front of his to catch himself. A champion may have the strength to break those bonds, but not ordinary people.
Before seeing the first of them fell, the rest of the ninjas took the chance to attack. Yi moved like the wind, dodging many blows with such ease and grace it seemed he was dancing. And with each step he whacked yet another ninja upon the head, trapping them. Seven of them dashed at him at once. Yi hopped backwards from the advancing sticks, and then leaped as high into the air as the ceiling would let him.
He flipped his duster downwards, and struck deep into the wooden floor as he fell. The duster cut through the bamboo floor, and all about it, branches of runes and hexes shot up to trap the surrounding ninjas.
As they struggled, Master Yi held his sword downwards, clenched both hands in a single fist, and pushed it forwards.
“Qin.” Thank you for the match.
The runes and hexes lifted, and many of the ninjas rose and graciously bowed to the Master, or imitated his move, if they were a ninja elder. The junior rose angrily, and stormed off.
Shen strode forwards, the first move he had made, since he stepped forwards to light the candle in the center of the room, four hours ago. Yi caught the ninja as he went to retrieve his Dragon Rising Blade. He let the
“That was a good fight,” Yi graciously offered to Shen. The fifteen were all students or mentors of Shen’s at the Kinkou Order. “Some of them have good spirit, like that young man over there.” Yi gestured to the junior who he had killed three times. The young man seemed to hear this, Yi always forgot how sensitive the hearing of a ninja’s was, and the junior stripped off his mask to reveal a long, flowing black hair, and a woman’s face. The junior glared insolently at Master Yi before striding off angrily. Oops.
“You gold-plated fart of an old man,” Shen ribbed, “I’ve never beat fifteen without getting hit at least once.” The two of them smiled at this. They both knew that Shen, as one of the most durable champions in the League, couldn’t care less how many hits he took. The tank of a ninja probably welcomed it. The two of them walked back into the main body of the Institute of War.
“At least you can take a hit. I don’t know how many more these old bones can take.”
“As if anyone can even hit you. You stay in another dimension so long, that Blades Dash is almost cheating. The other half of the time you’re flying through the air like a monkey.”
They rounded a corner, down a side passage, and past two palace guards who uncrossed halberds to let them pass.
“Good teachers learn from their students.”
The two reached their destination. An iron door, two stories tall, sealed the Fields of Justice from the rest of the world. The gatekeeper, sitting at the door’s foot, was absolutely enormous; twice as large as a grown man, and fully imprisoned in crude iron plate. One could not see an inch of the gatekeeper’s; there was only cold, black, iron. There were rumors that the gatekeeper was actually a former champion; deemed too powerful for the League to ever hope to control, and locked away in the vaults for the integrity of the League.
At the sight of Shen and Yi, the gatekeeper rose, and strode up to the iron door behind him. With each of his seven fingers, the gatekeeper broke the locks of the door. Immediately, the locks started to rapidly regenerate, but the iron fingers of the gatekeeper obstructed the reconstruction of the metal of the door. Curling his fingers, the gatekeeper found purchase in the door, and pulled. With a great rumbling, the door slid outwards, revealing an opening behind it that let Yi and Shen slip through. As they passed, the gatekeeper bowed, and then pushed the door closed again.
Yi and Shen made their way through the dark, winding corridor, until they happened upon an antechamber. They paused at the door. Shen glanced at Yi.
“Yes. Shen, we have to win. Defeat will mean suffering for more than myself.”
“No big deal. Once, all of Runeterra would have exploded in fire and brimstone if I hadn’t managed to recite the alphabet backwards to an ancient and long-dead god of the Old World.”
Yi paused. High Ionianese had over 400,000 characters.
“You’re joking, right?”
“...would it make you feel better if I was?
“Then whatever. The point is, we’ve all been through things before. As champions of the League, our actions will always hold some immensely important issue in the world, at one point or another. This is just one more problem we’ll all conquer. How do miners cut through rock and stone? They have to use diamond to scratch the harder rock, but just a bit of diamond won’t work. Because a speck of a diamond is brittle along, but held together, there is nothing in that will break it.”
The two stood in silence for a bit.
“Spent a while rehearsing that, did you Shen?”
“A little bit. I felt like I was too slow. Was I not natural enough?
“No, it was good. Diamond bit was nice.”
Ahri looked up from her summoner, who was devotedly fawning over her. The charm spell she cast on him still hadn’t totally worn off yet. Ahri, Jax, and Ashe, were conversing with the five Summoners who would be assisting them. Today was a special day; the champions would have the majority of the control over their own bodies, only the shared vision, and the summoner spells would be the form of summoner intervention in the fight.
A young girl, hooded and cloaked in purple robes, bowed to Yi.
“Greetings, master. I am Aki, your summoner for today’s match. I hope to achieve victory together today.”
“Aki…. You’re Ionian, aren’t you?”
“Yes.” She beamed, and Yi could see her straight white teeth. “I’m a great admirer of your skill, master….I…I was very excited for today.”
“You’ll do just fine.” Yi bent over a small chart set in front of them, and started shifting colored pieces on the stone setting. “Now, these are the spells I would like you to equip and the empowering runes…”
Aww... c'mon dude, get to the epic battle already! :3
I have to agree though, your portrayal of Jax and Ahri is spot on. Jax the strong and silent type (ish), Ahri playful and teasing.
One thing I still don't get is the Slipstream ability of Yi, but I'm sure that will be explained in due course.
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