Championship Riven, My Story. Saturday, Sept. 20th, 2014 Reader Discretion is Advised

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Walmart Customer

Junior Member


Hello community.

As you all know, Championship Thresh has returned from the vault and is now on sale. Great! And when I saw the heading "to commemorate past championships" I started to get slightly aroused. This is my real experience.

As I saw the title, I shrieked and moaned ferociously.
"Will this be the day? Am I the chosen one?" As my lips quivered and my knees shook violently, I scrolled down to anticipate something. Something far too great, blood started to flow throughout my body, warming it. Is Championship Riven finally going to be available? I caressed my thigh and moved up to my genitals feeling everything. Blood started to flow out of my nose, but I let it go. I kept scrolling and reading, trying to find where it announced Championship Riven's return. What I found, was nothing. I slowly gurgled deep in my throat and my dog stared at me in despair. The blood was still gushing out of my nose, streaks of it flowing into my mouth, covering my teeth. "What did I do to deserve this?" I stared at my monitor and my body slowly started to shake. I was hyperventilating. The gurgling in my throat continued and coughs started to command my body, blood spurted out of my mouth onto my monitor. I stood up rather fiercely and turned my monitor off. "It's time" I muttered.
I wiped my blood-covered lips, but it was no help. Blood was still pouring out of my nose like a waterfall. I ran downstairs to my basement, passing the light switches. There I was. Standing in the basement as the darkness engulfed me. I walked over to the hatch and opened it and slid down the ladder. I was in my shrine. Championship Riven posters surround the dim candles that lit the small shaft under the foundation of my house. On each poster I had a different Riven player that I gave offerings to daily. Boxbox, Faker, and Megazero. My knees gave out and I collapsed. I lied on my back, coughing up mixtures of blood and mucus, screaming in agony for Championship Riven to come available, just once. "All I need is a day, Riot. JUST ONE DAY!" It was no help. Riot cared not of what I desired. I took a poster of Championship Riven and lit it on fire. I gave an ominous smile. The picture of Faker seized my body. I started to shake uncontrollably. With all my strength, I took my body back. I climbed back up the ladder. The journey from my basement to my room was a blur.
I plopped into my desk chair and my head collapsed on my keyboard. I blacked out. When I regained consciousness, the blood from my mouth and nose soaked my keyboard. My finger shook violently as I attempted to turn on my monitor. I did it. I logged onto to League of Legends and viewed the store. I stared at Championship Thresh, as it mocked me. "Where o where art thou?" It's never coming back. I agreed. But I sure as hell didn't want to accept it. I took the knife I had taped to the back of my monitor, and made incisions in between the webbing of my fingers. Finally a use for my knife.

"Thanks Riot. Thanks for nothing." I leaned back in my chair and tears filled my eyes. Commemorating past championships? As if.