The Redeemed (VayneXLeona)

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Perdicus

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06-23-2013

Chapter two now up

It is midnight in Piltover, Shauna Vayne stands on top of an old building on Piltover's outskirts. She was here in Piltover to track down some black magicians she had deemed a threat, but she was really here because she wanted a break from the institute, and by extension her own confused feelings.

The information she had gathered said that the men would be meeting below her in a few minutes. She just had to wait.

It was so hard, everyone else seemed to understand their feelings but she was still here, clueless. She reached up to her arm and adjusted her crossbow, tightening its fastenings. Then she took her larger crossbow off her back, setting it up on a tripod, pointing it at the street below her. Her life was so simple. She trained, she hunted, she killed, she moved on. That was her life. She began loading her large crossbow, still thinking about what to do.

Down below her she heard footsteps, her quarry had arrived. She snapped her goggles down over her eyes, the goggles, advanced Zaunite technology she had purchased… discreetly, had both the ability to read body heat and also the trace flux that was the byproduct of all magic.

As soon as she snapped the goggles down the whole street lit up, a quick scan of the area below her revealed three cloaked figures on the street fifty feet below her, she ran a quick sweep of the surrounding rooftops.

"Nothing, Nothing, N…"

Her left hand flew to her other wrist steadying her aim, the goggles showed a sharp jump in flux on a rooftop directly across from her.

"****"

She had no way of reaching that rooftop without compromising her only escape route. To reach the rooftop she would have to launch the rope she had been planning to use to rappel down to the street, hope it connected and then use it as a zipline across. She weighed the options, if she messed up the zipline it would alert the sorcerers below, then again, if she ignored this flash of magic and it was from an enemy…

Another flash of magic on the rooftop forced her to make a decision. She chose to investigate. Gathering the rope and attaching it to the end of the bolt loaded in her larger crossbow, she shot it, with minimal noise, over the gap between buildings the tip of the bolt landed with a satisfying thunk in the wall of the opposite building. Tying the other end off, she pulled a large pulley on a handle off her belt and swung across the gap between buildings. Climbing up on to the roof of the building, she looked around, nobody in sight. She glanced down at the group below her; they were oblivious to her. Cautiously, and with raised wristbow, she saw nothing but a slip of paper blowing across the rooftop. Walking forward slowly, never lowering her guard, she bent down to inspect the slip of paper, blank… just some loose scrap.

"BANG!" a bolt of magic exploded against the ground where she had been just a few seconds. Vayne whirled, tumbled, and fired a lose bolt at where she thought the magic had come from, it whizzed off in to the night, missing the man in the black cloak that had just appeared behind her.

"Who are you?" she asked as they circled around each other

"Like I'll tell you, why don't you JUST DIE!" he shouted as he shot another bolt, but she had already rolled out of the way.

"Quick, are we?" he taunted. Her reply was to fire another shot, this one much more precisely aimed. He conjured a shield to block it, but only just.

"Once again, who are you?" she asked

This time he chose not to respond, instead firing another bolt of jet-black magic, this time he caught her by surprise; it hit her squarely in the chest, knocking her down and back towards the edge of the roof.

Scrambling to her feet, she cast a glance down to the street below, the men had vanished.

"Looking for us?" someone asked, she whirled around, there were now four men, all in the same black robes.

"****"

She quickly shot at the man on the far left, before tumbling to her right at taking aim at the man on the center-left.

The first shot hit in the arm, the man fell to his knees before dissolving in a puff of black smoke.
The second shot hit perfectly in the neck, and the man collapsed in a pool of his own blood, dead before he even hit the ground.

At this point however, one of the other men launched a blast of kinetic energy at her, standing as she was, very near the edge of the building; its force was more the enough to launch her off the roof.

"I'm going to die" was all she could think of, as she fell fifty feet down to hard concrete

She hit the ground with a sickening crunch; the pain was so sharp it forced all of the air from her lungs.

Somewhere above her she heard a man shout "LET THERE BE LIGHT!" as the sky exploded to the brightness of day

"Am I dead?" was all she could think before she passed out…


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Perdicus

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06-24-2013

MANDATORY DISCLAIMERS
Before continuing reading, go to To the Edge of Light's Reach (Lux/Katarina) by AerithRayne, read the disclaimers at the top of her first post (Heck, read the whole story while you're at it), ignore numbers 1 and 3, and then apply number 2 to this story, thanks.

This is just a teaser, the whole chapter is here: http://www.fanfiction.net/s/9420724/1/The-Redeemed

this is my first fanfic so please, Feedback. also i'm not super familiar with FF.net so posting here would be better if you can.


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OrderlyAnarchist

Senior Member

06-24-2013

Mild Spoilers for First Chapter Contained Below

Hmm... I think I like it. I will say that I feel your introduction was'n't what it should have been, however. This is a story all about Vayne/Leona from what you've told us, yet your first chapter was all about Vayne, a cult, Jayce, and Caitlyn. Your introduction should be setting the stage for your story, at the very least introducing your two main characters, yet yours almost seems to be the intro for a story entirely different from the one present in the summary.

All that said, it's still fairly well done. The writing is good, the story engaging, and the characters balanced and believable. Vayne's a badass, but she can only take so much. Jayce and Caitlyn are actually human. It's things like that which separate the good from the not so good, and as far as I'm concerned, yours definitely falls into the category of the former. So while as an introduction this could have been better, as a story it's not bad at all.

Keep up the good work, because I look forwars to seeing what comes next.


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Eyowyn

Senior Member

06-28-2013

I wonder when Lux will show up. Hmmm.


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Perdicus

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07-02-2013

You will be displeased to know that after some revision, i have completely written Lux out, and with it Ceru's canon (Sorry Ceru, but i just couldn't write Lux properly).

...so anyway, instead, to honor Ceru for inspiring me and everything i have created the Cerubois, the Cerubois is essentially a battered and deep-fried cherry, it's from Ionia, and it's an extremely minor plot device in like chapter 13, with no actual significance to the story. Yes, i wanted to honor you that much


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Cerubois

Senior Member

07-23-2013

... lol.

I'm very much honoured! ^__^

(not just a bump in disguise :P)


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Perdicus

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10-11-2013

OK... So i am actually working on this again, finally, chapter 2 is well underway, more feedback for chapter one would be great if anyone has any, uh, what else... i should probably leave something so i'm not just bumping...

At the Institute of War; in a small courtyard, the little gap of leftover space between two of the numerous expansions to the institute, was a rock garden, a dusty sign proclaiming it to be the Plaskett memorial garden. When she had first arrived at the institute, Leona had found this lonely garden and something in it called to her, over the next few lonely weeks, she found herself returning to this little spot. One day she brought some plants, one day a bench, and eventually she made this place her home away from home. Nobody ever bothered her in her garden, and the rocks and the sun reminded her of her old village on Mount Taragon, and she would shut herself in this little place and be alone.

Eventually, things got better, she started helping at the infirmary, and having someone, whoever it was that day, that needed her, pulled her back together. Even when it became clear the elders just wanted her out of the way, things weren’t as bad, she had people who needed her and a place that was her own, more so then her plain room, during the summer she had even taken to sleeping in her garden, as she had that night, she had hidden the door behind a musty tapestry and in over a year, nobody had ever so much as looked in…


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Perdicus

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10-17-2013

Huzzah, chapter two, now up, tell me, did you like it? hate it? is some typo driving your OCD crazy? let me know.


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Reazale

Senior Member

10-24-2013

i think i dropped a review on fanfiction.net
looking foward to more chapters


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Perdicus

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01-13-2014

Ok (I feel like I'm always doing these) I have fixed my computer situation to the point that I now actually have a computer that is mine, that I can do my writing on, so new chapter soon(tm). Also, I wrote this little poem type thing about Vayne and Leona that it thought I'd post, so enjoy.


Mother taught you to be gentle and she taught you to be kind, and she taught you loves’ a blessing and a wonder in disguise.

And you promised to be gentle and you promised to be kind, and you thought that love was simple and you thought that love was blind.

And the world it seemed so easy and the world it seemed fine, but such a worlds’ a fiction and is only in your mind...


But the lines were never quite so straight, and always oh so fine, and the world, it always hurt you, and there was no reason why

...And you cried up on the mountain and you yelled up at the sky, but the world it never listened and it never told you why...
why the world is never gentle and why it’s world is never kind, and why the world does hate you, and why it makes you cry...


So you lived a life of sorrow and you lived sighs, and you lived a life of pointless roles and a life of asking why...

...and then you saw her in the darkness and you saw her in your mind, and you finally saw the wonder of her face and of the sky.


...And you promised to be gentle and you promised to be kind, and you promised her the world, and you promised her the sky...

But the world is never simple and the world is never blind, and the world is never open, and neither is the sky...

...And love was never simple and love was never blind, and love, is never easy, no matter how you try...


...And she stood there on the mountain and she sat right down to cry, and you understood what happened and you understood just why

And you told her to be solemn and you told her not to cry and she finally saw the wonder in your face and in the sky


...And when you’re standing on the edge and she is up there too, you’re the only one to save her from the endless black and blue...

...And the world is never gentle and the world is never kind, but she knows that you will always be, and that is why she tries.