Gamebreaking

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Gruntala

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Senior Member

06-08-2012

Just submitted this to the Showcase. Let's see if it makes it.


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MajesticRaven

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Senior Member

06-08-2012

*The enemy team was pushing mid, as LeBlanc was attempting to distort away. A few Shurelia's boosts later and she was damaged enough to cause mirror image to activate. The two LeBlancs stood there before vanishing again...the enemy team paused wondering what happened, when four LeBlancs appeared.*

"Umm...is that supposed to happen?" Karthus readied his ult when a mass army of sigils were fired at him, as the LeBlanc count had increased to 16.

"AHH WHAT IS GOING ON! RETREAT!" The LeBlanc army continued to mass produce until they covered the entire map absorbing unlimited amounts of damage and blocking any movement whatsoever.

Number 9023: LeBlanc's Mirror Image cannot benefit from Mirror Image.
9023.1: LeBlanc's clones can only use auto attacks, not spells.
9023.2: LeBlanc's clones cannot actually deal damage.


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John the Irate

Junior Member

06-08-2012

The match had been under way for a short while now, with Veigar mid, Blitzcrank & Cho'Gath going top, Draven, and finally Kassadin sitting in a bot bush minion farming. As the team, doing well but not quite overpowering their purple-marked opposites, hit a uniform level 6, Kassadin started to recall.

"Just a second! Don't ult 'til I give the signal! I have a plan, and it's gonna take a metric ****tonne of mana!"

At this announcement, Draven's moustache reportedly drooped, slightly in confusion, slightly in disappointment, as a relieved, badly hurt Karthus limped back behind his tower to retreat.

Meanwhile, Kassadin sat at the circle, purchasing "as much mana as he could afford, and maybe a little more. I DID feel something rummaging 'round mah rucksack while I was watchin' Draven juggle on the teevee, or sumthin', but I keep tha' durn thing locked, so..."
...according to Shopkeep Doran.

According to the perp, now in custody, "I mean, the match wasn't TOO important, and I MAY have made a few '3rd party investments' beforehand, and... C'mon! I returned it afterwards..."

And now to event footage:

"All right! Here's the plan: On 3, ult the voidhole. (No, that is NOT ''slang for my purple arse.'') One... Two... THREE!"

As the murderously sharp,speedy axes skipped into the void after the voidknight, the portal closed, and all went silent. Until...

"An enemy has been slain!"
"An enemy has been slain!" (DOUBLEKILL!)
"An enemy has been slain!" (TRIPLE KILL!!)

Apparently Kassadin had been using a portal network (alongside the decidedly lax nature of void physics regarding things like 'speed' and 'direction') to pinball the twin axes around the Rift, killing absolutely everything!

"An enemy has been slain!" (QUADRA KILL!!!)

"Now, as I understand it, Karthus, this last kill was particularly embarrassing?"

"..."

"Now, Steve, the footage?"

Karthus had just reached the fountain, and was just about to start gluing his femur back together, when...

"OH, yeah, that is DEFINITELY a duct-tape jo-what the hell... OH****SHI-"

"An enemy has been slain!" (PEEENNTAAAKIILLLL!!!!!)

"And what about later in the match, Kass? The infamous ASDFincident?"

"Oh, yeah..."

Later, about 20 min. in, a teamfight was brewing in mid. Everyone was present (albeit not in very good condition) ...except Kassadin.

"Where's K-man?"

"No clue."

"It's a suicide rush without him..." Cho said, dejected & preparing for the gruesome error that was not about to befall him.

For, you see, as it started, a huge rift began to form behind Blue Team.

"...the hell?" at least 3 people said.

"What in tarnation..." at least one misplaced cowboy was reported as saying.

"Is that... music!?" Cho shouted.

"Catchy." Draven blurted out.

And all of a sudden, the rift in reality erupted.

"I LIKE TRAINS!!!!" screamed Kassadin, now obviously insane, straddling the front of the locomotive.

"BWWAARRRRRRR" the train roared, as it ran over everyone on Purple.

"ACE!" groaned the announcer, now obviously orgasming mid battle.

"...DAFUQ?" as was murmured by the victorious survivors.

"So that was obviously illegal, eh, K-man?
And, what's this, a "Disappearing Nexus?"

"Oh, yeah. Well, y'see, I was kinda drunk, and..."

When Swain came to, it was all he could do not to fall dead again.
Because something was missing.
Something BIG.
Something that, according to his minimap, should NOT have been in Blue base, being lasered by the Fountain Tower.

"WHAT THE FLYING FUC-"

*BOOM*

-end footage-

"Well, THAT was impressive. Honestly, I'm amazed you managed. Well, see you after the break! Guards!"

NUMBER #1337: Riftwalk gates may not be used for smuggling, or any other purpose than minor magic damage in accordance with the Riftwalk Algorithm/personal teleportation.


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TheStalwart

Member

06-10-2012

It was a peaceful and normal day in Summoner's Rift.

You can't get more blatant than that.

Katarina was running as fast as she could. Nevermind, she was running faster. Actually, she was running faster than possible. You could say that she was running so fast, Mother Nature wanted her to slow down, and if she could, Katarina would have flipped her off and threw a knife for good measure.

The point was, she was running all to avoid the demonic fury behind her.

She ran past the minions, who bravely attempted to stand in the way. However, they were righteously smote with extreme prejudice.

She ran past the turret, which began charging a shot at the incoming enemy. The person didn’t even notice as he ripped the turret out of the ground and threw it away without breaking stride.

Katarina ran until she came across her team, who was planning the ingenious tactic known as a massive mid lane push.

“Alright, so here’s the plan. First, we gather everyone in the team. Second, we kill everything that is not our minions, ourselves, or which pisses us off with its existence. Then we win. Any questions?” Garen asked.

Varus, Nautilus, and Sion were silent. Just then, Katarina ran up to them, or more specifically, Garen.

“Garey, there’s a bad person after me. Can you and the other take care of him?” Katarina asked sweetly.

“Sure, Kat. Just know we’re going to push mid, alright?”

“Wouldn’t miss it. Love you.” Kat said as she pulled down Garen’s scarf and pecked him on the lips.

Garen pulled up his scarf. “Love you too.”

As Katarina ran off, the rest of the team stared at Garen. The Might of Demacia shrugged.

“Marriage counseling does wonders.”

“Ah…” The rest of the team accepted this explanation, until Nautilus spoke up.

“Wait, marriage counseling?”

At that moment, HE pounced.

“Yeah, I’d like a Rabadon’s Deathcap, please.” Katarina told the shopkeeper yordle.

Taking out the item out of his oversized backpack, he held it out to the Sinister Blade. Katarina took out a gigantic bag of gold about the size of the shopkeeper yordle and gave it, grabbing the item in one deft motion. The yordle didn’t last two seconds before the giant bag of gold squished him under its weight. Katarina ignored the yordle’s plaintive complaints about his broken parts of yordle anatomy.

The reason wasn’t that she was a very cruel person and delighted in others’ misfortune and pain other than her own. She was more concerned about the sounds of carnage and Garen’s screaming about Varus’ leg bone being shoved up his urethra. Soon the sounds died down and silence reigned.

“Garen? Are you alright?”

At that moment, the Nexus was ripped from its position and thrown away, beaning Baron Nashor in the face.

Katarina fell on her butt as she beheld the subject of her nightmares for the next few days.

His axes dripped blood. His eyes were bloodshot. His lips leaked drool. His beard bristled.

It was a pissed Olaf. Katarina had to use all her mental faculties to not **** in her leather pants.

“Look, Olaf. It was an accident, I won’t do it again. Justlemmegoalrightcool?”

Olaf simply pointed a bloody axe in her direction.

“You mess with the beard, now you get reared.” With that, the berserker leapt towards her. Katarina screamed so shrilly, only dogs would have heard her.

Nasus would spend the next couple of days nursing a headache.

Regulation #201: Olaf’s beard will not be cut without his consent.

Regulation #202: Olaf will not overreact to people accidently snipping his beard.


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TheStalwart

Member

06-10-2012

“No, you don’t have enough gold.” The shopkeeper yordle said to Annie.

“But I want one!” Annie whined as she pointed to Rabadon’s Deathcap.

“Then maybe you should save up instead of blowing all your money on mana pots.” The shopkeeper yordle told Annie.

Annie glared at the yordle.

The yordle was unaffected.

Annie glared harder at the yordle.

The yordle exploded into flames, yet still stood there, not giving a ****.

Annie glared the hardest she could at the yordle.

At that point, the shopkeeper yordle stopped paying attention and was spanking Evelyn, who he caught trying to steal from his stash again.

Annie could only pout. Just then Malcolm Graves showed up with a big bag of gold, and dropped it in front of the shopkeeper yordle.

“One Infinity Edge please.” The shopkeeper yordle nodded as he rummaged through the sack.

As the Outlaw waited, he felt a tugging on his pants. Looking down, he saw the Dark Child looking at him pleadingly.

“Mr. Graves, can you buy me a Rabadon’s Deathcap?” Annie asked.

Graves stared her down.

“No.”

“Please!”

“No.”

With that, Graves turned away, only for Annie to tug his pants harder.

“But I want one!!!”

“Then save up.” Annie’s silence greeted and so Graves turned away, thinking that was the end of it.

“WAH!!!” Annie began to cry, rivulets of tears flowing down her face.

At that point, Graves felt like a heel.

“Here you go, one Inf-“

“Give me a Rabadon’s Deathcap.”

“But…”

“No buts, just give it already.”

The shopkeeper deftly switched the Infinity Edge for a Rabadon’s Deathcap, and gave it to Graves. He then got down on one knee and held the item out for Annie.

“Here. Happy, kid?” Annie’s eyes shined as she grabbed the item.

“Thank you, Graves. I love you!” She screamed in joy as she hugged Graves’ neck, before skipping off.

The shopkeeper yordle stood next to the Outlaw.

“Health pots?”

“All that I can afford.”

---------

And so it went that match…

---------

“I want Blue Buff!!!”

“You do know I can kill you, since I am on the other team?”

“WAH!!!”

“Alright, take it!”

“YAY!!!”

Ahri nursed a headache as Annie skipped off with the blue buff. Graves appeared next to her and held
out a heath pot.

“Health Pot?”

“Thank you.” Ahri began to drink, also signaling Yi not to gank Graves.

--------

“We want Baron Buff!”

“Piss off, Annie. You want Baron, you can have over our dead bodies.

“WAH!!!”

“How dare you make a child cry! Here Annie, your team may have my blessing.”

“YAY!”

“OH WHAT!!!”

PENTAKILL!!! ACE!!!

-------

“Can I take your nexus?” Annie asked the Nexus Turrets.

Then Renekton showed up.

“OH NO YOU DON’T!!!”

With that, Renekton smacked Annie on the head with his weapon.

“WAH!!!” Annie cried as she held her bruised forehead.

“HE HIT A CHILD!!!” Nexus Turret #1 said.

“SMITE THE *******!!!” Nexus Turret #2 said.

“But you’re on my team!!!” Renekton screamed.

The Turrets paid no attention as they blew the Butcher of the Sands to bits. Then they stood aside for Annie.

“Come, child. You may destroy our Nexus.”

“YAY!!!”

And there was much rejoicing.

Regulation #11: Annie may not cry to get her way.

Regulation #12: Champions cannot give items to other champions, ally or foe.

Regulation #13: Baron Nashor may not give his blessing when he is alive.

Regulation #14: Turrets may not fire on their aligned champions for any reason whatsoever.


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TheStalwart

Member

06-10-2012

Just to let you know, this thread is also available in www.Fanfiction.net under the League of Legends category.

Now I'm here to ask if I can have permission to post other people's entries into my story? All authors will be accredited.


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HuggableZombie

Senior Member

06-11-2012

YES!! post my pantheon story, and I'm sure my brother (El Killer Duck) wouldn't mind either.


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Dorryza

Senior Member

06-11-2012

As long as authors have credit, I'm sure things will be fine

You should wait for them to specifically give you permission.

Like me, right now. You may post what I have written.


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TheStalwart

Member

06-11-2012

It was a terrible match for the blue team. They had lost all their towers except their inhibitor ones, and the enemy team was bearing down on them with an army of minions and a whole lot of trash talking.

Draven felt the need to have a little bit of fun, and began to taunt Shen.

“Hey, Shen! Compared to me, you’re so then!!!”

Shen didn’t respond, only slashing at a minion with his swords. Draven felt irked at his taunt being ignored.

“Your father smells like **** and your mother burns!”

Shen still didn’t respond, only throwing a vorpal blade at another minion. At this point, Draven was grasping at straws.

“Umm…Order sucks?”

Shen stopped in mid-swing and glared at Draven. Everyone at that point stopped, as they saw that
Shen actually responded, and that some **** was about to go down.

“Repeat those words, and you will regret it.”

Draven’s bravado and overinflated ego absolutely disregarded those words.

“Order suckssssss…”

Shen’s eye twitched, before letting his hands drop to the side. Silence reigned over the battlefield, as
Draven smirked at Shen, utterly unrepentant. Suddenly, Shen flipped over the enemy, landing right behind Draven.

The enemy team would have attacked Shen right there, but what they saw stopped them right in their tracks.

“HAAAA…” Shen breathed as his shirt ripped off without his hands touching it, revealing his very toned and muscular upper body. It should also be noted that his upper body had about 7 scars about the shape of a nickel in the pattern of a constellation.

Draven shook off his reverie (as well as any thoughts of being attracted to the Eye of Twilight) and tried to attack. Operative word: tried.

“ATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATA TATATATATA!!!!” Shen shouted as he began to punch Draven so fast his fists were blurs.

“ASGGREJASDKGSEGFOGJSA!!!” was the only thing that spilled from Draven’s mouth as he was pummeled with Shen’s fists.

“WATA!!!” Finally, Shen delivered an uppercut that knocked Draven away. Immediately, Draven stood up and laughed.

“HA! You think your puny punches can hurt Draven?!”

At that moment, Draven’s head exploded. The rest of Draven’s team looked at the body then at Shen. Shen gestured in the always awesome ‘come at me’.

“WE SURRENDER!!!”

Regulation #17: Shen will not be allowed to utilize his martial art, Hokuto no Ken, in the Fields of Justice.


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shoggy

Junior Member

06-12-2012

Quote:
Originally Posted by TheStalwart View Post
It was a terrible match for the blue team. They had lost all their towers except their inhibitor ones, and the enemy team was bearing down on them with an army of minions and a whole lot of trash talking.

Draven felt the need to have a little bit of fun, and began to taunt Shen.

“Hey, Shen! Compared to me, you’re so then!!!”

Shen didn’t respond, only slashing at a minion with his swords. Draven felt irked at his taunt being ignored.

“Your father smells like **** and your mother burns!”

Shen still didn’t respond, only throwing a vorpal blade at another minion. At this point, Draven was grasping at straws.

“Umm…Order sucks?”

Shen stopped in mid-swing and glared at Draven. Everyone at that point stopped, as they saw that
Shen actually responded, and that some **** was about to go down.

“Repeat those words, and you will regret it.”

Draven’s bravado and overinflated ego absolutely disregarded those words.

“Order suckssssss…”

Shen’s eye twitched, before letting his hands drop to the side. Silence reigned over the battlefield, as
Draven smirked at Shen, utterly unrepentant. Suddenly, Shen flipped over the enemy, landing right behind Draven.

The enemy team would have attacked Shen right there, but what they saw stopped them right in their tracks.

“HAAAA…” Shen breathed as his shirt ripped off without his hands touching it, revealing his very toned and muscular upper body. It should also be noted that his upper body had about 7 scars about the shape of a nickel in the pattern of a constellation.

Draven shook off his reverie (as well as any thoughts of being attracted to the Eye of Twilight) and tried to attack. Operative word: tried.

“ATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATA TATATATATA!!!!” Shen shouted as he began to punch Draven so fast his fists were blurs.

“ASGGREJASDKGSEGFOGJSA!!!” was the only thing that spilled from Draven’s mouth as he was pummeled with Shen’s fists.

“WATA!!!” Finally, Shen delivered an uppercut that knocked Draven away. Immediately, Draven stood up and laughed.

“HA! You think your puny punches can hurt Draven?!”

At that moment, Draven’s head exploded. The rest of Draven’s team looked at the body then at Shen. Shen gestured in the always awesome ‘come at me’.

“WE SURRENDER!!!”

Regulation #17: Shen will not be allowed to utilize his martial art, Hokuto no Ken, in the Fields of Justice.
so that's why he is always banned