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Junior Member


Blue Team had multiple afks, it looks like the battle will be over shortly.
"WHY DOES MY F!@ING TEAM ALWAYS AFK!!!!!?" raged one summoner

-A 20 minutes ago-


Purple team was getting slaughtered, thanks to millions of spears and Rengar ults from the bushes in the jungle.

"Zyra, I thought you were a plant, why are those bushes helping the opposing team instead of us!?" demanded Ahri, wasting her ult to dodge the Xth spear and rengar gank at mid lane.

"I could bring poison to every single leaf and blade of grass on the field, but that would be against the terms of my service here." Zyra replied calmly. "I have a better plan...what kind of herb do cats go crazy-"

"Catnip, and that's brilliant, but will the summoners let you do that?"

"They said i could never make plants that cause poison damage nor grow permanent thorn bushes...catnip is not poisonous and is not a bush" muttered Zyra as she scattered her new creations into the enemy jungle.

Regulation # 1429d: Zyra may not grow seeds that contain catnip or similar psychoactive substances which affect champions in game.

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Junior Member


"An ally has been slain!"

The announcer's voice cried for the umpteenth time that game.

Taking a quick look at the score, Singed's summoner yelled at bot a few more times before wondering aloud, "What is happening up there?!"

Singed says nothing and bashes another minion into the ground.

"Double kill!" cries the announcer.

Suddenly hearing someone spamming retreat pings, Singed checks the map and sees a sea of yellow on the river. His summoner hastily directs him back to his tower. Finally speaking, Singed asks, "What's the prob-"

He was abruptly cut off as a two giant blades suddenly burst out of the trees, shredding his armor like paper, before turning around and dragging him directly through the wall, all the way to bot.

His mind screamed, "PAIN!" an instant before it went blank.


Darius tries again to use Noxian Guillotine, but the weapon he was using snapped almost immediately after impact. Teemo, the intended target, quickly ran back to his turret after shooting a few darts. He then became aware of a searing pain in addition to the blood usually accompanying getting ulted by Darius.

"You have been slain!"

Darius smiles and examines his new weapon again, Draven's maniacal laughter coming distantly from bot.

Regulation #9001: Darius and Draven may not trade axes.

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Senior Member


The clean up crew slowly they picked their way through the wasteland that was Summoner's Rift. After cleaning up the messes of a pyromaniac fire elemental, picking through the remains of what was left by a mushroom cloud and having to replace the very grass after the champions had become WMDs after watching anime, they had finally come to an agreement with the league that they would no longer clean up after the more fiery or explosive champions.

As they slowly attempted to extricate the minions, monsters, and a weirdly psoed teemo from the ice that covered the field, they simultaneously lifted their hands to the heavens.

They screeched out a sorrowful "WHHHHYYYYYYYYYY!?!?!?!?!!?"

Regulation #5389: Anivia's glacial storm can only be cast in small circular areas.
Regulation #5390: The clean up crew for Summoner's Rift must receive psychiatric aid until they are no longer a threat to themselves or others

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Senior Member


"You sure you want to try this Pantheon?" asked Teemo, "you aren't allowed to use anything other than your weapons much less a shovel"

"I'll just use my shield" said Pantheon.

"Where the hell is Pantheon?" asked Jax 40 minutes into the match as the purple team destroyed another turret, "you'd think the crazy spartan would've at least jumped us once"

"If i know anything" said Irelia, "then he most likely found another way to circumvent the rules and is going to cause mass destruction right about... now"

As if on cue an explosion could be heard behind them, they turned to find that an active volcano had appeared on Summoner's Rift. Pantheon stood at the very edge of its mouth and was covered in molten magma

"Fear the wrath of Pantheon!!!" he shouted

"See" Irelia said just as Pantheon ripped out her heart from her body

"This is SPARTA!" he maniacally laughed as lava covered the entire field destroying everything in the vicinity

The new cleanup crew, that had been assigned after the previous one had had their psychotic breakdown, gave voice to their feelings

"Son of a B*****-!!!"

Regulation #4563: Pantheon has to stay above aground at all times
Regulation #9575b (addendum): Champions are not allowed to watch any TV

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Senior Member


The sky glowed an unnatural darkness, without light of any sort.

This was no Paranoia.

This was the endgame.

Diana and Leona stood, glaring each other down the midlane, then turned to face their opponents- Jarvan IV, Ashe, Poppy, Karma, and Pantheon. Taking their time, they strolled down the lane to the Inner Turret, knowing they would win having just slain the three other members of the Blue Team. They ignored the strange portents about them....


"Double Kill," said the Announcer.

Ashe and Poppy were down for the count- Karma having barely survived with a clutch Soul Shield. "What was that?"

Then, Leona appeared in front, covered in a blindingly golden veil. She reached to Karma, and she was crisped much as a bug under a heat lamp. Pantheon and Jarvan turned to flee, but Diana had flashed past them and stunned them both.

Quadra Kill!

The sky pulsed in response, appalled by the abominations before them.

Regulation #2021a: Leona and Diana must stay with their respective skill sets.
Regulation #2021b: Leona and Diana may not modify the atmosphere within the Fields of Justice.
Regulation #2021c: Leona and Diana's respective Solar Flares and Moonfalls may not be influenced by present status of said Sun or Moon.

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Junior Member


*bump* but also...

This was the third time time...

It started with the gigantic frost arrows...

Then came the endless showers of health...

Now... red beams began to appear in the sky above blue team's champions, inevitable damagaing them. A second later this happened again. and again, and again... The only option remaining to the blue champions was to cower in spawn under an endless shower of ultimate attacks.

Karthus simply laughed uncontrolably in between ults as he began channeling one after another of his requiems from the purple spawn point.

Regulation #875: 100% cooldown reduction is to be reduced to 40%

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Senior Member


Just a regular match. Darius got fed and was dunking everyone.

"Enemy Quadra Kill"

Everyone had died except for Zac who had disconnected earlier. He came down to mid to see what happened. Darius wanting a Penta decided to dunk Zac.

* Sploosh

" What?" said Darius, "No Penta?"

As usual Zac was cut in two. But he reformed as two of him.

"Hey there handsome, looking good." Zac#1 said. "Thanks, I work out." Zac#2 said.

Darius being confused kept dunking the Zacs. Eventually there were a hundred Zacs who then rushed to the nexus and won.

Regulation #543: Zac can not make infinite copies of himself.

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As the enemy team approached, two figures stood against them.
"This don't look good, GP" said Ziggs
"Aye, but I gots me a plan" the pirate replied
*30 seconds later*
"Alright team, lets bunch up and take baron. They only have Ziggs and GP"
It was right about then that the bombs began to fall.

Rule #3678: GP's ship cannot fire anything but cannonballs

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Senior Member


On the purple team, in the middle of fighting Baron Nashor, Lux, Miss Fortune, Garen, Katarina, and Jarvan were wearing thin. It was only 17 minutes in and they were very much worse for the wear. Katarina was panting, her top ripped to the point where another inch would have cost the Institute of War millions for failing to censor the live broadcast. Garen was leaning on his sword, having taken a knee, winded and drenched in sweat. Lux's magic use had taken its toll and she too was leaning on her weapon. Sarah Fortune was on her back, still resolutely firing. Only Jarvan stood strong, dueling with the giant monster. Lance and flag met sinew and claw as they fought. Without warning, an all-too familiar ring formed around the hapless Baron-seeking purple team. Lux screamed out the first warning cry: "MANDROOOOOOOOOOOOP!" But Katarina spoke up. "Pantheon isn't in this matchup."

It had to be now. Alistar, Singed, Volibear, Lulu and Annie took their appointed positions. Volibear rushed toward Singed in a blaze of glory, whipping him high into the sky. Alistar slammed his fists into the ground, sending Annie to meet him. As the collided in midair, Annie's small form was launched halfway across the map thanks to an aerial headbutt from Alistar. From her vantage point half a mile above Baron pit, she threw her teddy bear. With a roar of fury, Tibbers began his rapid descent.


The giant shadow looked from below like a flaming meteorite to those below. The sheer sight of it drove those under it into a panic induced state, running around mindlessly. When their senses regained, Jarvan made a last ditch effort to contain the blast. "DEMACIA!!!!!!!! I'm HELPING!" he cried, as he slammed his lance down, creating a ring around himself... in the midst of his allies.

Utter carnage followed. Witnesses say a bent and melted lance was found next to what appeared to be the remains of Katarina's clothing, near blue team's Ancient Lizard. Lux and Garen's remains were found next to each other, Sarah Fortune's pistols in pieces near them. Laying nude in the purple team's bottom lane bush, in a lover's last kiss, was the owner of the pistols, her lips locked tight to the Sinister Blade's. Baron and the pit itself were so irrevocably slaughtered from the direct impact that a giant poro was given its place, while Singed and Volibear were given the task of throwing the pit back together.

Rule 4762: Volibear is no longer allowed to fling allied children.
Addendum: Or yordles.
Rule 4763: Singed either.
Rule 4764: Lulu is no longer allowed to cast her ultimate on Tibbers.
Rule 4765: Blue team summoner number 5 has been replaced with a substitute. Shortly after his last game as Jarvan he apparently fell down the stairs to the Institute of War. Ten times. And was then run over by Hecarim. And in his wounded state, delirium made him face-check Fiddlesticks's room.

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Junior Member


This may be but a joke thread, but it would be a shame for it to disappear, *bump* some real gems of league comedy are in this thread (imo), maybe others who come by will be interested in creating their own. Don't let it die, join the fun and create your own game breaking scenario.