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Good Idea for a Champion

No, dont like it 20 14.08%
Maybe needs some changes 37 26.06%
Yes, it is a prety good Idea 85 59.86%
Voters 142 .

[Character Concept], Arilian, Queen of the Elements

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Havoc202

Senior Member

02-23-2012

Can and Will Sometime later on today.


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Havoc202

Senior Member

02-23-2012

Will anyone do a review? I will review anyone who reviews mine.


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Havoc202

Senior Member

02-23-2012

I have reviewed it.


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Havoc202

Senior Member

02-23-2012

Bump For a Review


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Havoc202

Senior Member

02-23-2012

Anyone want to vote or Review?


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Limeaid

Member

02-23-2012

Bump Keep this thread Alive Riot needs to see at least The Idea of another Hybrid Champion.


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Walker21

Senior Member

02-23-2012

My review of Arilian, Queen of the Elements

Parts I will cover:

1) Lore
2) Base Stats
3) Abilities
4) Gramatical Inconsistancies
5) Overall Summary

Lore Overview: This lore is very vauge and narrow visioned. You talk about her and Janna and these callings from nature. Yes you specified what the callings actually were you just sort of drift in and out of the story, mentioning Arilian and the winds. You don't specify what Arilian is protecting Mankind and the Yordles from. At one point in the story you make it sound like the elements are the one's causing all the problems: "She went from provinance to provance dealing with the elements and protecting mankind and the yordles." You should probably re-phrase that. You also reference Janna as either Arilian's "best friend", "young friend" and "good friend" you only need to use one defining word once at the beginning of the story, after that you can just say Janna and people will know the relationship between her and Arilian. Also you should read up on Malphites lore because he isn't a malevolant being, he was just brought to the league against his will and is lonely for his home and people.

Base Stats:

Base health: Decrease to 435
Health per level: Decrease to 53
Health regen: Fine
Health regen per level: Missing, I recommend 0.11

Base mana: Fine
Mana per level: Increase to between 50 - 60
Mana Regen: Increase the base mana to between 7 - 9
Mana Regen per level: Fine

Damage: Decrease to between 45 - 48
Damage per level: Decrease to between 2.8 - 3

Base attack speed: Decrease to between 0.625 - 0.645
Attack speed per level: Change to a percentage (I recommend between 2.5 - 3)

Base armor: Decrease to between 15.5 - 17
Armor per level: Increase to between 3 - 3.5

Magic resist: Fine

Attack range: Consider changing to between 450 - 550

Movespeed: Consider changing to between 300 - 305

Abilities:

Q (Chain Lightning) analysis: A combination of two spells (Evelynn's Q and Volibear's ultimate) into one uncommon one, good for farming and AoE damage in teamfights.

My suggestion: Change the duration between activation to between 10 - 12 seconds and have it to when you auto attack or cast a spell you reduce the cooldown on Chain Lightning by 0.5 seconds. Change the ratio to include both ad and ap and reduce it to 0.15 each. Change the base damage to 30/45/60 and just have the spell do reduced damage to minions hit, not champions.

My reasoning: Since Arilian is a hybrid champion you want her to scale off of both attack damage and ability power, so you should also have her effect the cooldown of the spell in the same way. The damage does too much damage late game and not enough early game.

Q (Molten Fury) analysis: A generic AoE nuke that has decent but not great damage.

My suggestion: Increase the damage to 75/115/155/195/235 and decrease the ap ratio to between 0.5 - 0.55. Increase the splash damage to 35/60/85/110/135 and decrease the ap ratio to between 0.25 - 0.3. Have the spell leave an area on the ground that if enemies stand in it take damage magic damage per second (I recommend 15/20/25/30/35 with a 0.1 - 0.15 ap ratio) over 3 seconds. Change the cooldown to 8/7/6/5/4 seconds and decrease the mana cost to 50/55/60/65/70. You should also put in a splash radius (I recommend 300) and (if you choose to use it) and area of effect radius for the area of fire left behind (I recommend between 300 - 400).

My reasoning: Yes this ability does deal AoE damage but at the base you have it is far too little, you wouldn't even be able to hurt the ranged carries with it and since it is a skill shot the damage should be amped. Even if your champion is a hybrid you still need one spell you can spam (late game at least) and 6 seconds isn't spam.

W (Shattering Earth) analysis: A decent ranged crowd control ability with poor damage.

My suggestion: Have it deal damage to enemies it passes through, have it root the first enemy champion it hits not minion. Have the damage to enemies scale off of both ad and ap and reduce both of them to 0.225 and increase the damage to the target hit with the root to 80/110/140/170/200. (If you choose to use it) have the damage done to targets hit along the way be 50/65/80/95/110 (0.1 ap + ad ratio). Decrease the snare time to 1/1.25/1.5/1.75/2 seconds. Change the cooldown to 12/11/10/9/8 seconds. Add a cast radius (I recommend between 450 - 500)

My reasoning: You can still deal damage to non-primary targets if you have it deal damage to enemies along the way(makes more sense anyway, since the earth is cracking along the way). As with the fireball you need it to be able to deal damage even if it is crowd control.

E (Totemic Explosion) analysis: A fairly decent support ability, but not a good caster ability. Has too much utility and damage and not enough reliability.

My suggestion: Make the totem similar to Orianna's shield, where you place it on an allied champion and have it follow that champion around, have it so you can explode it after 1 second but doing so doesn't remove the shield. Remove the slow area of effect. Lower the shield health to 75/125/175/225/275 and lower the ap ratio to 0.35. Lower the explosion damage to 80/125/170/215/260 and lower the ap ratio to between 0.4 - 0.45. Give this ability an explosion radius (I recommend between 300 - 400) and decrease the mana cost to 90/95/100/105/110.

My reasoning: The way you had it before this ability was too unreliant, it is similar to the old rally, where it was only beneficial if you stayed around the totem. With the new meta that ability wouldn't really fit in. The delayed explosion was too unreliant too, especially since it would explode for way too much damage on the lowest healthed champion, which (if teamfights lasted as long as they usually do) wouldn't be around because the enemy killed them or you killed the enemy. The way I set it up you can still deal damage and shield, but you can pick your own target and damage when you chose for more optimal teamfights and 1v1 scenario's. The shield strength was WAY too strong for a non-ultimate ability, most shields don't have that much late game even with a lot of ability power.

R (Elemental Rage) analysis: A very underwhelming ultimate with too high numbers.

My suggestion: Change the text to say that auto attacking gives bonus's, lower the bonus damage you get from autoattacking to 3/4/5 and decrease the number of stacks to 5 total. Give the explosion a base damage (I recommend 225/300/375) and don't give it bonus damage based on the number of stacks she has. Change the cooldown to 120/100/80 seconds, specify the explosion radius (I recommend 600) and decrease the mana cost to 100/125/150.

My reasoning: If you did give this ability the amount of stacks you suggested, you would never want to activate it because (with the way you wrote it) you would have 150 bonus attack damage, 100 bonus ability power and 300% bonus attack speed. At level 3 of the spell you would have 500 bonus attack damage, 400 bonus ability power and 700% bonus attack speed. You should clarify more how the ability actually works.

Gramatical Inconsistancies:

Lore:

- Specify plot points and transistions
- Clarify on points in the story Exp: What exactly is the calling Arilian for?

Quotes:

- Joke: Malphite already has this joke, consider making a new one.

Abilities:

- Q:
- Specify a splash radius
- (If you choose to use it) Specify an area of effect radius

- W:
- Remove the last sentence in the ability description, it is uneccesary.
- Remove the parenthesized "skill shot" next to the ad ratio, it too is uneccesary
- Specify a cast radius

- E:
- Specify a blast radius
- Specify a cast radius
- If you choose to keep the original concept of the ability then remove the sentence "Totem health and Shield Health do not share a Health Pool. If the Totem Is Destroyed then the shield is removed. If the Shield is removed the totem will explode doing no damage." for they contradict each other and would just confuse readers.

- R:
- spell out what "ad/ap and as" mean, it makes it more effecient and consistant for readers
- Specify the blast radius

Overall Summary: Arilian is a fairly decent hybrid champion with abilities that don't flow well together. She feels more like a support/burst caster than a hybrid champion since most of her abilities scale off of ability power and not attack damage. I recommend reworking some of her abilities and scaling on her abilities.

REMEMBER: This is just a critique and all suggestions are not set in stone. If there is something that I suggested that you don't like, feel free to ask me about it and you do not have to change your champion. Thank you for letting me review your champion and I appreciate your opinion on mine.


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Havoc202

Senior Member

02-24-2012

Quote:
Walker21:
My review of Arilian, Queen of the Elements

Parts I will cover:

1) Lore
2) Base Stats
3) Abilities
4) Gramatical Inconsistancies
5) Overall Summary

Lore Overview: This lore is very vauge and narrow visioned. You talk about her and Janna and these callings from nature. Yes you specified what the callings actually were you just sort of drift in and out of the story, mentioning Arilian and the winds. You don't specify what Arilian is protecting Mankind and the Yordles from. At one point in the story you make it sound like the elements are the one's causing all the problems: "She went from provinance to provance dealing with the elements and protecting mankind and the yordles." You should probably re-phrase that. You also reference Janna as either Arilian's "best friend", "young friend" and "good friend" you only need to use one defining word once at the beginning of the story, after that you can just say Janna and people will know the relationship between her and Arilian. Also you should read up on Malphites lore because he isn't a malevolant being, he was just brought to the league against his will and is lonely for his home and people.

Base Stats:

Base health: Decrease to 435
Health per level: Decrease to 53
Health regen: Fine
Health regen per level: Missing, I recommend 0.11

Base mana: Fine
Mana per level: Increase to between 50 - 60
Mana Regen: Increase the base mana to between 7 - 9
Mana Regen per level: Fine

Damage: Decrease to between 45 - 48
Damage per level: Decrease to between 2.8 - 3

Base attack speed: Decrease to between 0.625 - 0.645
Attack speed per level: Change to a percentage (I recommend between 2.5 - 3)

Base armor: Decrease to between 15.5 - 17
Armor per level: Increase to between 3 - 3.5

Magic resist: Fine

Attack range: Consider changing to between 450 - 550

Movespeed: Consider changing to between 300 - 305

Abilities:

Q (Chain Lightning) analysis: A combination of two spells (Evelynn's Q and Volibear's ultimate) into one uncommon one, good for farming and AoE damage in teamfights.

My suggestion: Change the duration between activation to between 10 - 12 seconds and have it to when you auto attack or cast a spell you reduce the cooldown on Chain Lightning by 0.5 seconds. Change the ratio to include both ad and ap and reduce it to 0.15 each. Change the base damage to 30/45/60 and just have the spell do reduced damage to minions hit, not champions.

My reasoning: Since Arilian is a hybrid champion you want her to scale off of both attack damage and ability power, so you should also have her effect the cooldown of the spell in the same way. The damage does too much damage late game and not enough early game.

Q (Molten Fury) analysis: A generic AoE nuke that has decent but not great damage.

My suggestion: Increase the damage to 75/115/155/195/235 and decrease the ap ratio to between 0.5 - 0.55. Increase the splash damage to 35/60/85/110/135 and decrease the ap ratio to between 0.25 - 0.3. Have the spell leave an area on the ground that if enemies stand in it take damage magic damage per second (I recommend 15/20/25/30/35 with a 0.1 - 0.15 ap ratio) over 3 seconds. Change the cooldown to 8/7/6/5/4 seconds and decrease the mana cost to 50/55/60/65/70. You should also put in a splash radius (I recommend 300) and (if you choose to use it) and area of effect radius for the area of fire left behind (I recommend between 300 - 400).

My reasoning: Yes this ability does deal AoE damage but at the base you have it is far too little, you wouldn't even be able to hurt the ranged carries with it and since it is a skill shot the damage should be amped. Even if your champion is a hybrid you still need one spell you can spam (late game at least) and 6 seconds isn't spam.

W (Shattering Earth) analysis: A decent ranged crowd control ability with poor damage.

My suggestion: Have it deal damage to enemies it passes through, have it root the first enemy champion it hits not minion. Have the damage to enemies scale off of both ad and ap and reduce both of them to 0.225 and increase the damage to the target hit with the root to 80/110/140/170/200. (If you choose to use it) have the damage done to targets hit along the way be 50/65/80/95/110 (0.1 ap + ad ratio). Decrease the snare time to 1/1.25/1.5/1.75/2 seconds. Change the cooldown to 12/11/10/9/8 seconds. Add a cast radius (I recommend between 450 - 500)

My reasoning: You can still deal damage to non-primary targets if you have it deal damage to enemies along the way(makes more sense anyway, since the earth is cracking along the way). As with the fireball you need it to be able to deal damage even if it is crowd control.

E (Totemic Explosion) analysis: A fairly decent support ability, but not a good caster ability. Has too much utility and damage and not enough reliability.

My suggestion: Make the totem similar to Orianna's shield, where you place it on an allied champion and have it follow that champion around, have it so you can explode it after 1 second but doing so doesn't remove the shield. Remove the slow area of effect. Lower the shield health to 75/125/175/225/275 and lower the ap ratio to 0.35. Lower the explosion damage to 80/125/170/215/260 and lower the ap ratio to between 0.4 - 0.45. Give this ability an explosion radius (I recommend between 300 - 400) and decrease the mana cost to 90/95/100/105/110.

My reasoning: The way you had it before this ability was too unreliant, it is similar to the old rally, where it was only beneficial if you stayed around the totem. With the new meta that ability wouldn't really fit in. The delayed explosion was too unreliant too, especially since it would explode for way too much damage on the lowest healthed champion, which (if teamfights lasted as long as they usually do) wouldn't be around because the enemy killed them or you killed the enemy. The way I set it up you can still deal damage and shield, but you can pick your own target and damage when you chose for more optimal teamfights and 1v1 scenario's. The shield strength was WAY too strong for a non-ultimate ability, most shields don't have that much late game even with a lot of ability power.

R (Elemental Rage) analysis: A very underwhelming ultimate with too high numbers.

My suggestion: Change the text to say that auto attacking gives bonus's, lower the bonus damage you get from autoattacking to 3/4/5 and decrease the number of stacks to 5 total. Give the explosion a base damage (I recommend 225/300/375) and don't give it bonus damage based on the number of stacks she has. Change the cooldown to 120/100/80 seconds, specify the explosion radius (I recommend 600) and decrease the mana cost to 100/125/150.

My reasoning: If you did give this ability the amount of stacks you suggested, you would never want to activate it because (with the way you wrote it) you would have 150 bonus attack damage, 100 bonus ability power and 300% bonus attack speed. At level 3 of the spell you would have 500 bonus attack damage, 400 bonus ability power and 700% bonus attack speed. You should clarify more how the ability actually works.

Gramatical Inconsistancies:

Lore:

- Specify plot points and transistions
- Clarify on points in the story Exp: What exactly is the calling Arilian for?

Quotes:

- Joke: Malphite already has this joke, consider making a new one.

Abilities:

- Q:
- Specify a splash radius
- (If you choose to use it) Specify an area of effect radius

- W:
- Remove the last sentence in the ability description, it is uneccesary.
- Remove the parenthesized "skill shot" next to the ad ratio, it too is uneccesary
- Specify a cast radius

- E:
- Specify a blast radius
- Specify a cast radius
- If you choose to keep the original concept of the ability then remove the sentence "Totem health and Shield Health do not share a Health Pool. If the Totem Is Destroyed then the shield is removed. If the Shield is removed the totem will explode doing no damage." for they contradict each other and would just confuse readers.

- R:
- spell out what "ad/ap and as" mean, it makes it more effecient and consistant for readers
- Specify the blast radius

Overall Summary: Arilian is a fairly decent hybrid champion with abilities that don't flow well together. She feels more like a support/burst caster than a hybrid champion since most of her abilities scale off of ability power and not attack damage. I recommend reworking some of her abilities and scaling on her abilities.

REMEMBER: This is just a critique and all suggestions are not set in stone. If there is something that I suggested that you don't like, feel free to ask me about it and you do not have to change your champion. Thank you for letting me review your champion and I appreciate your opinion on mine.


Okay Looking at your Review there are key points that I am willing to move on and say I agree with you. But there are a few points that I dont seem to really understand what you are trying to do.

Passive : The Chain Lightning is her passive and yes helps farming but this also ment to help in a team fight so why shouldnt it be able to hit Champions? That is what I was confused on when you put a Q here? I was wondering why that was...

Q : This one move imparticular is not her Skill Shot at all this her spamming move to help do some damage and it already has an AoE effect. This move you click on the champion/minion that you want to hit you Molten Fury with and you hit them and leave the splash damage to the others surrounding the target. When you land this move on the target you click when you first casted this move doesnt get hit by splash damage but a burn that does 25% additional damage to the target. So I dont think changing anything about this move will help her.

W : This is her Skill Shot this the one where you have to hit a champion or minion and is based on your targeting. While yes the damage is a bit low I am considering maybe increasing it damage and lowering the Snare about .25 but other then that this move is alright by it self.

E : This is where I think you and I will disagree most. As For the Health Pool/Vice Versa situations. I can clarify that but I thought it was straight forward. The Totem and the Sheild will NOT Share a Health Pool Because then it becomes easy to have someone attacking the sheilded and attacking the totem. But I can seperate and clarify the opposites. I am going to brood over wether or not I am going to take some of the sheild health and Damage down but I will not change the Ap ratio if it goes down something has to compensate for the shield and lowering the Ap will not help. If It I do it wont be by much. And For how strong the sheild is Look at a Morgana Sheild and a Sion Sheild They are pretty strong when you build Ap Sion and Morgana's tends to be strong any way because of the Ap build your making. The Sheild is staying on the champion for 8 seconds after it is casted anyway. So the totem will not move with me when I run away. The Reason you have a slow is also to help this champion escape because other then her W it is only really big escape tool.

R : Elemental Rage, This move has a stacking ability for damage not for the bonus. The Stacks are entirely made for the damage. So it doesnt make this champion over powered. So you dont get 150 Ad, 100 ap or 300% As.

For the base stats the reason we did it this way was because she is going to be a melee fighter. She goes in and hits minions with her Weapon not sitting away from the group of minions throwing a elemental bolt everyone once in a while. That is why we gave her some more stamina and alittle less mana to help with that. So the Stats I really will look over and see if I really need some changes there.

As for the Lore, I know it is a bit weak right now... It was something that I had thought of and really hadnt expanded much on. I will plan to rewrite it and make it sound alittle more fun and explain alittle But I will read Malphites Lore and see if it helps me at all...

As for your Overall Summary, I believe I did leave explinations on why I made the move the way I did, I left how you would combo being this champion... I feel like you didnt read this at all. It might have cleared up some of what you said. But Then again you could have and might have still came up with this but a very well thought out review

Also Thank you for taking the time to review my Champion. I really do appericiate the feedback!

With High Regards
Havoc202


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Gunsandhorses

Junior Member

02-24-2012

Passive seems self-harming. Even last hitting would push the minion wave and make him vulnerable to ganks


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Havoc202

Senior Member

02-24-2012

How would you make her passive??