Shadow of the Maven(SonaXTalon)

Comment below rating threshold, click here to show it.

Señor Sleepy

Member

03-09-2012

So... does this means Fiora no longer has a crush on Talon?


Comment below rating threshold, click here to show it.

BladeAngelx

Senior Member

03-10-2012

Maybe and maybe not, i haven't really thought that much about it, just gonna have to keep reading.


Comment below rating threshold, click here to show it.

Cerubois

Senior Member

03-10-2012

I got around to reading this today! (Well, I couldn't read it all, which I apologize for. I'm terribly busy right now!)

From what I've seen, it's very good. Very fluffy.

It may not be completely to my taste, as I didn't find enough conflict in it (I like the darker side of things to be mixed in with my fluff). But that's just my personal opinion.

As a writer, aside from the occasional spelling and grammar error, it seems quite decent. It's a very laid-back approach, which is easy to read. While I'm unsure of the pacing (it all happens pretty quickly and conveniently), I think perhaps I'm just caught up in my own approach. I can understand the idea of a relationship developing this fast. I'm sure it happens all the time. I just think you could have done a lot more with it story-wise before 'coupling' them, so to speak.

That's pretty much all I can say. You don't need my advice. You're doing very well on your own. Thanks for bringing my attention to your story (and reading mine!).


Comment below rating threshold, click here to show it.

BladeAngelx

Senior Member

03-10-2012

The story does seem to progress rather quickly with the reason being that when I began writing this I was unsure of how popular it would be and I didn't want to have a lot of text in there involving them coupling with eachother. I wanted a story that had an underlying romantic theme with plot points of action such as the general's return and the night of the shrouded moon.

The story has become something that I didn't forsee and now I'm striving to take more and more time to avoid jumping ahead like I had before. I thank you for taking the time to read and really appreciate your insight on the story, I'll take your words to heart and try to adopt a little bit of the way you write as well. Your story is extremely intricate and detailed as well as eye appealing with alot of action in it.

I had a narrow sighted approach to "action" in the beginning wanting action to be battles and similar, but with all the events taking place now I really have an opening to add less violent action to the story without it appearing as just "fluff".

I think the way to best describe why there is so much "fluff" in this story is due to the relative difference between the two main characters. Talon being an assassin opens the doors to having bloody conflict where Sona being a relatively peaceful champion does not open as many doors in that regard, but none-the-less I'll definitely work towards adding more action to the story as it further evolves. Not all the fluff will be lost in the process, because lets face it, despite the relative goriness of the battles that Talon gets himself into, the underlying theme of the story is still romanticism.


Comment below rating threshold, click here to show it.

BladeAngelx

Senior Member

03-16-2012

New chapter in the works, i've been busy for the last few days but now i'm back and ready to take this story to a whole new level.


Comment below rating threshold, click here to show it.

xXrekmaster69Xx

Senior Member

03-16-2012

Quote:
Originally Posted by BladeAngelx View Post
New chapter in the works, i've been busy for the last few days but now i'm back and ready to take this story to a whole new level.
Glad to hear it, I was hoping this wouldn't die.


Comment below rating threshold, click here to show it.

BladeAngelx

Senior Member

03-18-2012

New Chapter is out, get ready for the next climactic battle to come. It should be chalked full of twists and tactics. Hope you're all still enjoying this story as much as I enjoy writing it.


Comment below rating threshold, click here to show it.

Wizit Strogg

This user has referred a friend to League of Legends, click for more information

Senior Member

03-19-2012

wow.....i'm sorry....but this is the greatest thing ever written! Keep writing man, this is most likely the only thing in existence i haven't TL;DR


Comment below rating threshold, click here to show it.

BladeAngelx

Senior Member

03-19-2012

Thanks for the love <3 lol and don't worry this story is nowhere near being over


Comment below rating threshold, click here to show it.

BladeAngelx

Senior Member

03-20-2012

Chapter 23 is out!