The Long Gun of the Law

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SpicyJackTheBard

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01-11-2012

Quote:
Originally Posted by happinessism View Post
oh and you didnt upload today. actually kind of sad T.T prepared my nice cosy hot choco too.
Yes I did. As I am posting this, it is 11 o'clock my time.

Part 4: Her name isn’t “Destiny”…

Folding of space, or teleportation to those less magically inclined, is a pain in the ass when there’s no nexus nearby. Not only is there massive amounts of concentration required for the task, but when you come out of the folded space, you are often vomiting from the tax the magic takes on your body. As such, when I teleport back to the Ministry of War, I always try to aim for my bathroom, that way the privy can take the brunt of my stomach’s punishment.

I suppose that fortune smiled upon me this day, seeing as how I fell out of the folded space and regurgitated the delicious lunch I had into the metal privy. Needless to say, it tasted so much better going down than it did coming back up, and chunks of bread, cheese, and vegetable matter in a vaguely tea-colored sauce spattered all over the bowl of the privy.

Resting my head against the metal rim, I took a few deep breaths before standing up, picking up the hat that had flown off my head during my violent heavings. I hung the hat on a peg in the bathroom before trudging over to the icebox that each summoner had in their room. Reaching in, I withdrew a glass bottle with red liquid in it, and removed the stopper, taking a sip. The potion’s energy surged through me, and I felt revitalized with each second that passed. Opening the cupboard next to the icebox, I withdrew a few strips of dried meat and walked out of my room, down the hallway to Jakob’s room.

I knocked on the door thrice, tearing off a piece of meat as I did, and walked in without an invitation. The Frejlordian summoner sat there, his hands hovering over a model of Summoner’s Rift, see-through versions of champions running to and fro. Jakob zoomed in on Olaf, whom I assumed he was working with, and twitched a few fingers on his right hand, sending the barbarian into the jungle to slay the Ancient Golem.

As he worked, I waited silently, and he paid me no mind. Jakob, more than anyone else in our circle, had a tendency to become absorbed in the match, blocking out all else. He would know you were there, but not acknowledge you until the match was over, and the outcome would often predict how well he treated you after coming out of his reverie.

However, his victory was not an accurate prediction of how he greeted me after he guided Olaf to taking down enemy champions multiple times, tearing down two turrets, and ending the enemy nexus himself. The match done, he turned in his seat, stared me straight in the eye and said, “You are such a dick.”

I managed to hold back two sputters before I released a laugh that Stephen, who lived right across the way from Jakob, obviously heard, for he joined in with me. He came out of his room wearing a tied-shut robe and slippers, his face red with laughter, adjusting his spectacles because they would have fallen off his face otherwise. As we laughed, Jakob turned red with anger, “It’s not funny!” he said. “Do you have any idea how scaly her skin is?”

We both stared at him for a brief second of silence before our laughter continued.

When we had both had our fill of mirth, we calmed down and I said to Jakob, “A deal’s a deal, man. I got a date with Caitlyn. Two, no less, since she agreed to meet me a couple of days hence. Now for your end of the bargain. You have to kiss Cassiopeia, or have your honor be forever tarnished.”
His glare could have cut steel, yet I stood there and bore it until he turned back to the model of Summoner’s Rift, his face set in a scowl, “Fine. I’ll do it, and you all can watch.”

Stephen and I bumped knuckles before leaving Jakob to stew. As we made our way out to the common room, we ran into John and Tay, who were talking about their most recent practice match, and each bumped knuckles with me as we walked past. When we got to the common room, Stephen and I each took a seat. “So you have another date with her, huh?” he asked, removing a flask from his robe’s pocket.

After taking a swig, he offered me some, which I accepted. A mouthful revealed it was bright in flavor and strong in content. Obviously Demacian. Swallowing, I passed the flask back to Stephen, replying, “Yeah. She said that there’s a little tea house across from Piltover Customs that she’ll met me at two nights from now.”

Another gulp before passing it back, which I refused. “So I heard,” he said, taking a third and final swig before replacing the flask in his pocket, “What’s your plan, then?”

“You know me. I never have a plan. I don’t even know which champion I’m going to work with when we get to champion selection.”

“Jax,” Stephen said simply, his gaze unwavering from my eyes.

“Doubtful, but I’ll take it under consideration. Anyway, I just think I’m going to play the second date by ear. I’m even going to walk her home this time.”

“Smart choice,” my friend said, “though I would recommend that you go in with an idea of what you’re going to do for your next date, if she’s willing.”

I nodded and stood from the table, stretching and returning to my room. I was not in the mood to step onto the Fields of Justice today, so I simply sat down and began to read a treatise on the Kumungu Jungle as written by a summoner that had paid visit to it two years ago.

Two days seemed to pass in the blink of an eye as I passed the time by reading and operating my pitiful skills on the battlefield. I did, however, take some time to pay a visit to my home town of Bilgewater, and fight a few matches in the boxing ring there. I won two out of three, losing only to a bear of a man whose speed I underestimated. The man left me with one cracked and two bruised ribs, and not even the potent healing potion in my icebox could remove all of the superficial contusions.

I woke up at almost noon the next day, the beatings I had taken causing me to sleep like the dead. Groaning, I rolled off my bed, which may as well have been filled with rocks, but it suited me just fine. A few stretches cracked all of the joints that needed it before I lumbered to the shower and turned on the hot water, standing in the spray for a little while to wake myself up. Once awake, I started, almost slipping, as a realization hit me.

I had a date with Caitlyn today.

“HOLY ****!” I screamed at the top of my lungs, thinking that not even five hours was enough time to get ready for a date with a champion of the League. Madness ensued as I ran to and fro in my room, pulling on three different pairs of trousers, trying on four shirts, and inspecting my various pairs of boots to see which would have the least number of holes in them.

Apparently, Lee heard, since he came a-knocking at my door asking “Is everything alright in there?”

Between metaphorically tearing out my hair and twisting the shirt I was currently wearing around so it was no longer backwards, I managed to shout back, “Of course not! Why would you think that everything was fine?!”

Thinking he didn’t need an invitation, the large Ionian entered my room, the top of his head almost brushing the doorframe. Looking around, he saw the assortment of clothes on the floor, and me with one arm in a fifth shirtsleeve, looking like Tryndamere on a very bad day.

Sighing and shaking his head, Lee simply strode across the room and slapped me right across the face. I stood there in utter shock, looking a little to my right before turning my head back to face him, rubbing my cheek.

“Feel better?” he asked.

“Much, thank you,” I replied, before he nodded in self satisfaction and left the room.

My composure regained, I went about my business, cleaning up the assortment of clothes strewn about the place and finally deciding on an outfit that would suit my purposes just fine. The end result was a pair of black trousers stuffed into black leather boots with silver filigree worked into it, and a blood red shirt similar to the one I wore when I first met Caitlyn, though of assuredly higher quality. Atop my head, I wore a round hat with a short brim over spiked hair, and I kept a small pouch of gold sewn into the lining of my pocket, my winnings from my fights hidden carefully enough that a pickpocket wouldn’t be able to steal it without my notice. Completing the ensemble was a black satin vest with silver buttons. If the place was more formal, I could close the vest across my chest, yet if it was slightly more casual, I could leave it unbuttoned as it was. Looking myself over once again, I decided that I was as good as I was going to get.

Finally, to ensure that nobody would bother me while I was out, I reached into a cabinet and withdrew two sets of five throwing knives and tucked them in my vest pockets. They were small enough that none could see, yet close enough on hand that I could get them easily. However, taking my lute in hand, I noticed that the dark brown and brass instrument would clash with my outfit. This problem was easily solved, though, as I wove a minor illusion to change the wood’s color to black and the brass to silver. Keeping the fine instrument in hand, I began my incantation.

My arrival in Piltover was less than gentle, as the unstable magic on the city-state’s end caused me to be forcibly ejected, landing me flat on my face in an alleyway. As I got up, my bruised ribs pained me, causing me to wince. “Well,” I said to nobody in particular, “at least I’m getting all the bad stuff out of the way early.”

Pushing through the pain, I rose once again, walking to the end of the alley. Nobody paid any mind to me as I emerged from the darkness and made my way down the street. My emergence from the portal was fortunate, because as I walked, I saw the sign for Piltover Customs in the darkness, and the light coming from the tea house across the way.

Entering the tea house, I noted how relaxed of an environment it was, though the general dress code was similar to what I wore. Giving an inward sigh of relief that I had not overdressed, I approached the seating host.

“Just one?” he said, a short and slender man with an accent I couldn’t place, though I believed it to be Demacian.

“Two, please,” I said, holding up fingers to emphasize my point, and he nodded, “Right this way, please,” he said, taking me to a two-person booth with an oil lamp on the table. I seated myself as he gestured, setting my lute on the floor underneath my seat so it wouldn’t get damaged during the course of the evening.

I waited patiently, waving away the waiter that brought by menus, saying that I would prefer if they were presented when the rest of my party got here. Not ten minutes later, she arrived.

Caitlyn looked resplendent in a sleeveless dress of purple with white embroidery, her hair unbound, with an amethyst on a silver chain around her neck. I stood as she entered the tea house and waited for her to come towards me and be seated before I sat down again.

A five second silence ensued as I just tried to take in who was sitting across from me, inciting a chuckle from the champion. It was only then that I realized that my mouth was hanging open, a situation which I rectified with a clack of teeth. “You look gorgeous,” I finally managed to force out, those three words doing their best to sum up all the thoughts rushing through my mind. She smiled at me and said “Thank you very much, Jack. You look rather handsome yourself,” another bad habit kicked in as she gave me the compliment: I began twiddling my thumbs.

Noting this, she said, “Am I making you nervous?” cocking an eyebrow as she spoke.

Shocked, I stopped the motion of my thumbs, though I still kept my hands together on the table. “My apologies, Caitlyn,” I said, my voice regaining composure as my hands did. The eyebrow remained arched in its incredulous gaze, so I began to explain myself, “You see, it’s just that I consider myself lucky. There are a bunch of people, civilians and summoners alike that would kill to be where I am right now.”

Laughter lilted out from her mouth as she threw her head back, “I knew I was popular,” she said through the dying vestiges of her mirth, “but I doubted that such was the case.” She and I laughed together again as the server came by with two menus. He stood there while we examined it and we each ordered our tea. She had a Noxian blend, strong and dark, while I preferred a lighter taste from Ionia.

Our tea was brought, a small kettle for each of us, and we sipped quietly before continuing our conversation. We talked about more work on and off the Fields of Justice, her work in Piltover, and my upcoming duties training the newest batch of summoner recruits.

“So how are you going to train them?”she asked me, holding her ceramic cup in one hand, sipping from it gingerly.

“When I first joined the Ministry of War, I learned how to summon from a former drill sergeant from Demacia. I’m going to use his techniques along with some that I learned while working on the ships in Bilgewater.”

“Like?” she replied expectantly, moving her cup to just under her mouth, which was slowly curling into a smirk.

“Well, I’m going to use a rather unique introduction,” I said, clearing my throat so I could speak more clearly, “’Alright, maggots. Spicy Jack’s going to teach you the pecking order. It goes you, the dirt, the worms IN the dirt, Spicy Jack’s stool, the High Councilor, then Spicy Jack. Any questions?’”

Caitlyn’s expression was of utter shock, to which I responded by bursting out laughing. “What are you laughing about?!” she almost shouted, “That’s utterly barbaric! Totally uncivilized! I think less of you that you would even consider such a thing,” at that last statement, my eyes widened, and I held up my hands in a form of surrender.

“No, no,” I told her, explaining my intentions, “After that little monologue, I would laugh it off, much as I did just now, and offer a formal introduction. I’m a nice teacher, much nicer than the people I sailed under in my hometown.”

Her glare could have curdled milk, yet it served as a warning. I would have to watch my dark humor for the remainder of the evening. As the night progressed, however, as our idle conversation continued, we eventually returned to that same state of relaxed conversation as before, incurring laughter as the evening went along. Even when we had both finished our tea, we still stayed in that booth and talked.

Finally, I asked for the check, and our server brought it, setting it on the edge of the table. We both reached for it, yet her reflexes were quicker, snatching the piece of paper away from the tips of my fingers. “Come on!” I shouted at her, making a gesture of exasperation as I did, “The gentleman always pays for the first date.”

The words had escaped my mouth before I even realized what happened. Giving me a wry look, she spoke, “I suppose this is a date, Jack,” and passed me the paper. I counted out the money for the check and tip from the hidden pouch sewn into my trousers, containing a smile with some difficulty as I felt my heartbeat grow faster.

She considers it a date! She really believes it to be a date! I thought to myself, my joy running rampant through my thoughts.

With this, we both stood and left, me donning my hat and taking my lute before we left. I let her leave first, and walked out behind her. “May I walk you home, Caitlyn?” I said to her, offering my arm in a chivalric gesture.

Looking up to meet my gaze, she responded “Of course, I would have to ask to pay you back for tea if you didn’t,” and slid her arm through mine. With that, she led the way back to where she lived, and this time I couldn’t contain my grin.

Hope you all enjoyed it, and I am sorry to inform you that the next installation will be later than tomorrow. But I assure you, it will be action packed.


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Tho76

Senior Member

01-12-2012

Yay for action! I haven't posted yet, but Caitlyn is my main Ranged DPS, so that + I really like the story warrens a comment. I somehow imagined Caitlyn being more stuck up, but maybe that's just me. The writing is amazing, even I got embarrassed at the part with Jack talking about his opening statement to the new recruits.
P.S. if you need some twist with Cass, there is another Fanfic with CassxShyvava. That would be interesting if you wanted to add something. Again, nice writing.


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SpicyJackTheBard

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01-12-2012

Quote:
Originally Posted by Tho76 View Post
Yay for action! I haven't posted yet, but Caitlyn is my main Ranged DPS, so that + I really like the story warrens a comment. I somehow imagined Caitlyn being more stuck up, but maybe that's just me. The writing is amazing, even I got embarrassed at the part with Jack talking about his opening statement to the new recruits.
P.S. if you need some twist with Cass, there is another Fanfic with CassxShyvava. That would be interesting if you wanted to add something. Again, nice writing.
She is stuck up. She just has a lot of respect for the Bard of Bilgewater because of his assistance with an arrest. :P That, and I daresay he's pretty **** charming in all his awkwardness. jk jk


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WexAndywn

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01-12-2012

I really enjoy this. And unlike Jayko, I won't ask for a cameo. Just 1500 Riot Points.
Jokes aside, I love this and it is in my top two Caitlyn fanfics ever.
-WexAndywn/Misterdoctorprofessorguy, Author of Singed's Bar


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SpicyJackTheBard

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01-12-2012

Quote:
Originally Posted by WexAndywn View Post
I really enjoy this. And unlike Jayko, I won't ask for a cameo. Just 1500 Riot Points.
Jokes aside, I love this and it is in my top two Caitlyn fanfics ever.
-WexAndywn/Misterdoctorprofessorguy, Author of Singed's Bar
Thank you, Wex, and I would love to read your Singed's Bar fanfiction given the chance. As for the rest of you, remember how I said that I wouldn't be posting another chapter today? Well, I lied.

Part 5: Knives in the Night…

I walked with Caitlyn through the dark streets of Piltover, laughing, my arm linked with hers. We shared jokes, discovering that we had very similar senses of humor, and talked about our favorite books. She preferred historical texts, some dating back to the Rune Wars, while I preferred fluffy romance novels. She thought my choice in novels amusing, though she hid it well. Needless to say, I was kind of asking for it.

As we walked along, something seemed… off. As I looked over to the sheriff, I knew she felt it too. When I opened my mouth to ask her what she noticed, she cut me off quietly, “Just keep walking. -Someone’s watching us. I can feel it.”

Turning my head to face forward once again, I did continue, my right hand, the arm not linked with Caitlyn’s, flexing in case I needed to grab the throwing knives hidden in my vest. We walked in silence, and my eyes took in where we were.

The streets were dark, no light coming from the shops on either side. Even the shops seemed run down, and I realized we were in a somewhat seedy portion of Piltover, as strange as that may seem for the City of Progress. I adjusted my hat, lowering it on my brow before I heard a shot ping off the stone wall behind us.

Caitlyn was quicker, slipping her arm out of mine in order to reach down her bodice and remove what was easily the largest hextech revolver I ever saw. The whole gun was about as long as my forearm, and she had simply pulled it out of nowhere. Shock was apparent on my face as she pulled off two shots towards an alley where the shots had come from. WHAM! WHAM! The pistol went, the rounds bouncing off the walls of the alley. However, in her muzzle flash, I saw a figure holding a smaller revolver turn and bolt away.

Her police instincts took over, and she chased after the man, shouting “Stop where you are!” as she ran. I had no choice but to follow. Removing two of the knives from my vest, I ran after her, keeping my head low and my senses open. She pulled off one more shot, WHAM! before our assailant turned around a corner.

Swearing under her breath, she replaced the three bullets she had expended from a purse at her side that matched her purple dress, and snapped the gun back closed with a flick of her wrist. We both turned the corner, my being just a few steps behind her, and I launched one of my knives down the alleyway.

End over end the silver steel glinted before it disappeared into the silhouette of the running man, eliciting a cry of pain from him. Spinning around, he threw off two more barking shots before stumbling and continuing his escape. Caitlyn began lining up a shot as he turned another corner, causing her to let out a grunt of exasperation, continuing her pursuit. I replaced the knife I had thrown with another from the vest, leaving me with seven still in their sheathes. As we turned the corner, we saw the man stumbling away, leaving a rather obvious trail of blood, going between two more men with hextech weapons in their hands. We had to dive into cover when they opened fire.

Weapons firing, the two new assailants’ rounds bounced off of the wall behind us, one even taking a chunk out of the corner wall where I hid. Caitlyn kept her cool while I panicked, searching for some kind of way to help her out. One of them started reloading, the spent shell casings tinkling off the ground and poked out of her hiding spot, trying to pull a shot off. The other gunman, however, fired off three rounds when she did, one almost hitting her in the shoulder.

“Dammit!” she shouted, coming back into cover, “They aren’t going to even give us a chance,
are they?”

“Doubtful,” was my response, until inspiration struck. “Give me a few seconds,” I told her before focusing inward to draw energy to perform a small feat of magic.

You see, hextech weapons are very complex, relying on both magic and technology to accomplish what they were meant to do. Needless to say, when one little thing goes wrong say, a destabilization in the magic powering the weapon, it no longer works.

Using the spell I had built up, I managed to destabilize the magic powering the weapons for a few seconds. Once that was done, I shouted to Caitlyn. “NOW!” and we both burst out of cover.

Click! Click! BOOM! Was all that you heard, clicks from their weapons, a thundering shot from Caitlyn’s, and silence as one of my thrown knives took the other man in the throat. They both fell to the ground, dead, and the sheriff rushed over to examine the bodies.

“Gang members. Sometimes they make attempts on my life in order to restore anarchy to the city. As you can see, they always fail, but this one was more organized than most.” Looking up, she spied the blood trail from the original attacker shining in the crescent moon’s light and said to me, “Come on! There’s still one more!” before running in pursuit, her gun at the ready. I yanked my knife from the man’s throat and ran after her, cleaning the blood off it with a handkerchief as I went.

We followed the trail through streets and alleys before we came to its end. It ended in a pool of blood with a knife glinting in it, but no body. “Dammit!” the sheriff shouted, kicking a nearby wall, “We almost had him. He must have patched himself up really quickly and gotten away.” I picked up my knife from the puddle of fresh blood and wiped it off, replacing it in its sheath. “Well, he won’t be getting far. And he’s going to be left with a nasty scar to dissuade them from trying again anytime soon,” I told her, adjusting my vest so it didn’t reveal the glint of metal underneath it.

With an exasperated sigh, she stuffed the revolver back into her bodice, hiding it as she had hidden it all night, which still baffled me. “How the hell did you hide that thing?!” I asked her, my confusion coming out in my voice, “It’s almost as big as Corki, and you just casually stuff it down your dress.” She gave me a wry look, not caring to hide the grimness in her eyes, “I hid it well, but it wasn’t necessarily comfortable.”

That being said, she straightened her dress, making a note to herself to clean the bodies up in the morning. Turning to me she asked, “Are you still going to walk me home, or are you as put off by this as everyone else?”

“I’ve seen death before,” I replied, “And I have caused it as well. I will still walk you home, just to make sure you get there safely.” At the last part, she gave a soft smile and offered her arm to me, which I gladly accepted.

We walked in silence, taking a shortcut through a few more alleys until we arrived at her home, a nice place with a purple roof and wooden walls. I went up the steps to her front door with her, and turned to face her, separating my arm from hers entirely.

“I’m sorry about tonight,” she said to me, lowering her gaze in a manner I didn’t think she was capable of, “If you’d still like to go out, I’ll make it up to you.”

“How about tea again, same day, same time, next week?” I asked.

She looked up at me, shock fading away into a smile. “Of course. That would be very nice. And I have to thank you. I would most likely be dead if it weren’t for your help.” With that, Caitlyn stood on her tiptoes and kissed me on the cheek, her lips brushing against my skin briefly before she lowered herself.

“Goodnight,” she said, unlocking the door and opening it.

“Goodnight,” I replied, turning to walk back down the stairs.

My incantation began as the door closed, and within seconds, I was heaving up that fine Demacian tea into the bowl of my privy once again.

It's amazing what you can do without writer's block!


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happinessism

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Junior Member

01-12-2012

wow so good
i didnt expect action to this extent but it was exciting and it fit the context of your story
heheh hopefully the next portion will be up sooon
ill look forward to it


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Cimmerian

Senior Member

01-12-2012

why do i sense theres gonna be drama in this :\. Is this gonna turn sad somehow?


Keep it up, love it


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Jaykoboy

Senior Member

01-12-2012

Quote:
Originally Posted by WexAndywn View Post
I really enjoy this. And unlike Jayko, I won't ask for a cameo. Just 1500 Riot Points.
Jokes aside, I love this and it is in my top two Caitlyn fanfics ever.
-WexAndywn/Misterdoctorprofessorguy, Author of Singed's Bar
I thought I smelled a Jayko reference made on this thread...I have found you!


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Tho76

Senior Member

01-12-2012

Where does Cait get her weapons from? A freaking huge revolver probably can't be bought off the streets? Does Corki give her them or something?


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SpicyJackTheBard

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01-12-2012

Quote:
Originally Posted by Tho76 View Post
Where does Cait get her weapons from? A freaking huge revolver probably can't be bought off the streets? Does Corki give her them or something?
The hell if I know! Like I said: random pistol from her cleavage.