[STORY/CHALLENGE] My Talks with the League

Comment below rating threshold, click here to show it.

Edasich

Senior Member

02-03-2012

LeBlanc

Issun: You're Emilia LeBlanc, aren't you?
LeBlanc: (impish giggle) I can't fool you, can I, summoner?
Issun: Not at this moment, no. (awkward pause) Uh, it's too dark in here. Can we have a bigger candle, please?
LeBlanc: (snaps her fingers and creates a ball of light to illuminate what appears to be a wine cellar)
Issun: Oh, thank you very much. That's better. Now, to start, what do you like to do in your spare time?
LeBlanc: Between the two of us, I've always had a flair for theater. You can often see me performing in plays, especially opera.
Issun: Such as?
LeBlanc: You know the recent performances of Don Giovanni, don't you?
Issun: Yes.
LeBlanc: I'm actually on stage more often than all the other actors combined.
Issun: Let me guess. You're a stunt double?
LeBlanc: I...guess you could say that...
Issun: I see. Well, what do you like about the League of Legends?
LeBlanc: That I get to live exposed to the public without anyone bothering to try and track me down and expose me.
Issun: What about Swain?
LeBlanc: What about Swain? While he was a member of the Black Rose, he spent more time with his nose buried in bird seed and carrion than doing anything else.
Issun: Okay. What do you dislike about the League?
LeBlanc: That some...well, let's say "lecherous" summoners keep trying to see me naked. I only dress like this because I find most other clothing too restrictive.
Issun: I do have to wonder why you don't at least wear some kind of armor.
LeBlanc: Are you kidding? Armor slows me down, restricts my movement, and destroys my accuracy and concentration.
Issun: It does keep you from dying if you get hit, though.
LeBlanc: Only if it works, and it's such high-maintenance that it's really not worth it.
Issun: Point taken. Now then, do you miss anyone in your homeland?
LeBlanc: Not quite. No one is safe in Noxus, least of all those you associate yourself most closely with. It's partly why I left. I'm sure most other Noxians will say the same.
Issun: Me too. Moving on, what's your favorite food?
LeBlanc: What's that to you? I often have to adjust my palette to avoid detection.
Issun: That goes for color too, I presume?
LeBlanc: Quite right.
Issun: Who have you met in the League who particularly interests you?
LeBlanc: If by that, you mean any sense in general, I would have to mention Swain and Jarvan IV. Those two are so busy butting heads against each other that I don't think they'd notice anything else, even if I set their pants on fire.
Issun: I'm sure Brand could easily arrange that.
LeBlanc: He probably would without a second thought, knowing him.
Issun: Yep. Anyway, how long do you plan to stay in the League?
LeBlanc: My people deserve to reclaim their birthright, the rule of Noxus, from those militaristic simpletons currently in power, and what better way to ensure that than to fight in the League of Legends?
Issun: Good answer. Well, thanks for letting me talk with you.
LeBlanc: Not so fast. How do you know anything I just said is true?
Issun: ...Uh...
LeBlanc: Exactly.


Comment below rating threshold, click here to show it.

Edasich

Senior Member

02-05-2012

Shyvana

Issun: Sh-Shyvana, I guess... [Please, don't hurt me.]
Shyvana: (chuckle) I am she, summoner.
Issun: Good to know. Well, um...to start this interview, what do you like to do in your spare time?
Shyvana: (points to a nearby rock formation crudely shaped like a dragon head) See that rock?
Issun: (looks at the rocks) It wasn't like that two days ago. Who did that?
Shyvana: I did. With my bare talons.
Issun: That...is very impressive. Moving on, what do you like about the League of Legends?
Shyvana: What else? The thrill of glorious combat and the terror in the eyes of my foes as they fall before me in droves. Also, the food is very noteworthy; I have yet to meet anyone in Demacia who can match your chefs at...well, anything.
Issun: I know. What do you dislike about the League?
Shyvana: ...I guess...that even allies fear me often, sometimes more so than I wish.
Issun: I suppose being a half-dragon means not quite fitting in with anyone else, huh?
Shyvana: It is a lonely life, but not one I am unfamiliar with.
Issun: Speaking of loneliness, is there anyone you miss in your homeland?
Shyvana: If you mean Demacia, no. If you mean the realm of pure dragons, no. The latter because I am but an abomination in their presence, and the former because all I could call close are already here.
Issun: You mean the other Demacian champions?
Shyvana: All except the human woman, Luxanna; she irritates me to no end.
Issun: I think I understand. Moving on, what's your favorite food?
Shyvana: I would easily settle for whatever creature is foolish enough to attack me when I am alone in the wilderness.
Issun: I hear dragons eat almost anything except each other, so that would be a difficult question to answer.
Shyvana: Not at all.
Issun: Then what's your favorite color?
Shyvana: Midnight blue.
Issun: Who have you met in the League who particularly interests you?
Shyvana: I suppose I would give Sona special mention. She may not be able to speak, but I can see in her eyes that she, like myself, has lived alone all her life and longs for companionship. It makes me feel somewhat guilty knowing that I still have others to confide in and she does not.
Issun: Have you ever considered introducing her to your friends?
Shyvana: Now that you mention it...no, I have not...
Issun: Okay...uh, well, to finish this interview, how long do you plan to stay in the League?
Shyvana: Until I am no longer needed. I may not be a pure dragon, but I can still potentially outlive humans by centuries.
Issun: Okay. That's just not fair.
Shyvana: Say that to any other dragon and he would tear you asunder in a heartbeat.
Issun: I see. Well, thanks for letting me interview you.
Shyvana: You are welcome, summoner.


Comment below rating threshold, click here to show it.

Edasich

Senior Member

02-06-2012

Sion

Issun: So, you must be Sion.
Sion: Yes, I am Sion.
Issun: That's what I needed to hear. Now, to start this interview, what do you like to do in your spare time?
Sion: I like to see plays with a lot of fighting in them. The good fighting.
Issun: Such as?
Sion: I forget its name, but it features a huge conqueror with a sword.
Issun: That could apply to just about any play.
Sion: This conqueror was very muscular and talked a bit like me.
Issun: Oh, then I think I know exactly which one you're talking about. Anyway, what do you like about the League of Legends?
Sion: Death. Lots of it. And what is best in death? To crush your enemies, see them driven before you and hear the lamentation of noobs!
Issun: Good answer. What do you dislike about the League?
Sion: Why do people think I'm stupid?
Issun: You're undead, so a lot of people automatically assume they can outsmart you. I don't know. That's just a guess.
Sion: Maybe. (sniff) Maybe. I've yet to meet one that can outsmart Chopper.
Issun: ...Uh, well, next question: do you miss anyone in your homeland?
Sion: No one missed me when I was alive, and I missed no one when I was alive. I'm okay with it, though.
Issun: Are you sure?
Sion: Yes, I am sure.
Issun: Right. What's your favorite food?
Sion: Mashed head.
Issun: How's that a food?
Sion: You take an enemy's head. You mash it. You eat it.
Issun: ...
Sion: ...
Issun: ...Uh, well...what's your favorite color, then?
Sion: Lime green.
Issun: Less awkward. Who have you met in the League who particularly interests you?
Sion: Kog'Maw. I would mash his head, but someone must've beaten me to it.
Issun: Wow...
Sion: And people call me ugly.
Issun: Again, less awkward. Anyway, how long do you plan to stay in the League?
Sion: I don't know. Fighting is fun here, but I miss the days when I was still a part of Noxus' army. Those people had reason to fear me, not push me like a pawn.
Issun: I heard that the Noxian High Command wanted to hold you back so they wouldn't lose you again. Is that true?
Sion: That's what they told me. But I want to fight and conquer again. For real.
Issun: I see. Well, thanks for letting me interview you.
Sion: Hasta la vista, baby.


Comment below rating threshold, click here to show it.

PC Nacho

Junior Member

02-06-2012

Haha I've had lots of fun reading these. My only critisism would be the representation of the champions could be a little better - study the way they talk and the psychology behind their speech (the way they'd reply to your questions e.g.)

Hey, I don't know if you'd agree but, can I personally interview Rumble? He's my main and I'm so so liking him


Comment below rating threshold, click here to show it.

Edasich

Senior Member

02-08-2012

Quote:
Originally Posted by PC Nacho View Post
Haha I've had lots of fun reading these. My only critisism would be the representation of the champions could be a little better - study the way they talk and the psychology behind their speech (the way they'd reply to your questions e.g.)

Hey, I don't know if you'd agree but, can I personally interview Rumble? He's my main and I'm so so liking him
Thanks for the feedback. And hey, there's always room for improvement, right?


Comment below rating threshold, click here to show it.

Edasich

Senior Member

02-08-2012

Rumble

Issun: You're Rumble, I presume?
Rumble: What gave that away? The blue fur all over my body, the goggles on my head, the vest on my torso, or the 3 meter, 2.5 tonne battle mech towering over you?
Issun: I get it. You think I'm stupid.
Rumble: And you'd have to be if you don't know who I am by now.
Issun: Look. I'm sorry I offended you.
Rumble: That's what they all say. And if you think I'm coming down, think again.
Issun: I never said I wanted you to come down. I'm only here for an interview.
Rumble: Oh. Well, then by all means, go ahead. You might want to use that scissor lift behind you, though.
Issun: (turns around to see the scissor lift) You mean this thing?
Rumble: Yes.
Issun: Okay. (clambers onto the scissor lift and elevates it to the point where he's eye level with Rumble) Now then, to start, what do you like to do in your spare time?
Rumble: The same thing I've been doing pretty much all my life: tinkering with gadgets. Nobody really said much to me unless they decided to bully me.
Issun: I imagine being short, even by yordle standards, life was rough for you.
Rumble: Meh, I always manage to get even. One day, someone sticks my head in a toilet. The next day, his toilet "mysteriously" self destructs. He lives, of course, but he remembers never to cross me again.
Issun: Well, I suppose that's one way of stopping bullies.
Rumble: It's one of the reasons I built Tristy, here.
Issun: I see. Moving on, what do you like about the League of Legends?
Rumble: The looks on my enemies' faces when they see me coming at them, and the looks on my allies' faces when they see me burn, drown, smash, shatter, zap, blast, and/or blow up said enemies into meaty chunks for my own amusement. If only they could see themselves! (laugh)
Issun: I suppose that's kind of an extension of your "getting even" schtick.
Rumble: Well, something like that.
Issun: What do you dislike about the League?
Rumble: I guess you could say that others still don't really talk to me much. I guess my reputation does have its drawbacks, but that's the only life I've ever really known.
Issun: I see. Well, within the conversation, do you miss anyone in your homeland?
Rumble: Not really. Like you said, I did get bullied all my life, mainly because I was shorter than all the other yordles in Bandle City. And if there's one person I would love to stomp into the dirt more than any other in all of Valoran, it's that sellout, Heimerdinger!
Issun: I heard that you joined the League to prove what yordle technology could do without "hiding behind a foreign banner".
Rumble: Exactly. And that poofy-haired traitor more than deserves what's coming to him. I'll tell you.
Issun: Okay, then. Moving on, what's your favorite food?
Rumble: Uh, that's a tough one. Either pineapples or durians, I guess.
Issun: What about a color?
Rumble: Tan.
Issun: I see. Who have you met in the League who particularly interests you?
Rumble: Teemo and Tristana. At the very least, I'm happy there are other yordles loyal to Bandle City here. I just wish there were more like the three of us. And by the way, I've heard the rumors that they're a couple, and I've also heard that they both ignore and/or deny them constantly. Which means, uh...heh... (blushes slightly)
Issun: Is that why you named your mech Tristy?
Rumble: Um, yes.
Issun: I see. Moving on, how long do you plan to stay in the League?
Rumble: As long as it takes to show the people of Valoran--if not all of Runeterra--that Bandle City doesn't need any help from other countries--least of all those dominated by humans--to prosper.
Issun: Well, between you and me, I don't think those yordle jokes are funny either.
Rumble: Seriously?
Issun: Of course not; I just think they're racist.
Rumble: Hmm...
Issun: Well, thanks for letting me interview you. Now, how do I get down from he--(accidentally triggers an ejector mechanism that tosses him into the sky) AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!
Rumble: (looks up into the sky) Note to self: no ejector mechanism for scissor lift.


Comment below rating threshold, click here to show it.

Edasich

Senior Member

02-11-2012

Tryndamere

Issun: (falling from the sky) {panicked} DON'THITTHESHARPROCKSDON'THITTHESHARPROCKSDON'THIT THESHARPROCKS!!! (lands in a snow drift) (gets up and starts coughing, spitting, and shivering)
Tryndamere: Ah, who do we have here? A little girly man?
Issun: Ugh, no. I just came back from a long flight. By the way, you...uh, Tryndamere, right? You're a lot bigger in person than on paper.
Tryndamere: I don't know if that's supposed to be a complement or an insult, but what do you want?
Issun: I got launched 8 kilometers in the air after conducting an interview, but as long as I'm here, would you mind if I conducted one with you?
Tryndamere: Well, now that you mention it, no.
Issun: Okay. To start, what do you like to do in your spare time?
Tryndamere: If I'm not hitting things, I'm hitting them a lot. I know better than most people that warfare is NOT pretty.
Issun: And yet, you seem to enjoy it far more than you should.
Tryndamere: No, I enjoy it exactly the right amount. For me, at least.
Issun: Okay, then. What do you like about the League of Legends?
Tryndamere: The chance to gain influence through my combat skills and my words. And hey, if I can't talk someone into agreeing with me, I can just hit him. It's worked before, and it works now.
Issun: Uh huh. So anyway, what do you dislike about the League?
Tryndamere: Some of the other champions are less than ideal roommates for room and board. Garen, for instance, is quite the neat freak. I don't smell that bad.
Issun: Uh, right. And by the way, do you miss anyone in your homeland?
Tryndamere: Technically, I don't have a "homeland". I don't even get the concept. I do, however, have many friends and allies among the barbarian tribes. We even have special honorifics for each other. Uriel the Bloodstained, for one. Duffy the Half-Toothed, for another. And then, of course, there's Yggdra the Stomper on Anyone who Gets in her Way into Paste.
Issun: What do they call you?
Tryndamere: Tryndamere the Invincible.
Issun: (chuckle) I think I know why. Now, then, what's your favorite food?
Tryndamere: Bacon. Seriously. Who doesn't like bacon?
Issun: ...Uh, well, what's your favorite color, then?
Tryndamere: Sky blue, hence the highlights on my armor.
Issun: I see. Who have you met in the League who particularly interests you?
Tryndamere: I suppose I'd have to say Ashe. We originally married each other as part of a treaty between Freljord and the barbarian tribes. Since then...uh...
Issun: I do remember hearing rumors that your marriage has become more...genuine, as of late.
Tryndamere: Heh. I don't know about that.
Issun: Uh, right. To finish this interview, how long do you plan to stay in the League?
Tryndamere: Until I can finally find a permanent home for my people. Life in the wastelands was hard enough before those Noxian cowards killed my family and clan, and I'd love nothing more than to hack every single one of them to pieces.
Issun: I see. Well, thanks for letting me interview you.
Tryndamere: Sure thing. Oh, and by the way, the Institute of War is that way. (points to a building in the distance)


Comment below rating threshold, click here to show it.

Edasich

Senior Member

02-15-2012

Annie

Issun: So, you must be Annie, correct?
Annie: (giggle) Yep, and this is my bear, Tibbers. Say "Hi," Tibbers. (wills Tibbers to life)
Tibbers: (angry roar) (prepares to attack Issun)
Annie: No! Bad Tibbers! Bad Tibbers!
Tibbers: (pause) (shrinks away)
Annie: Sorry. He's just grumpy. He doesn't like it when I disturb his nap time.
Issun: Uh huh. Well, anyway, to start, what do you like to do in your spare time?
Annie: What's that?
Issun: You know. When you don't have anything else to do.
Annie: Oh, right. I like playing games here, especially with all the grown-ups.
Issun: Games? Like what?
Annie: Oh, you know. Jumping rope, hopscotch, tag, ring around the rosie...
Issun: ...
Annie: What did you think I was gonna say?
Issun: Never mind. Anyway, what do you like about the League of Legends?
Annie: I like the rooms and the toys and all the funny looking creatures.
Issun: I see.
Annie: It kind of reminds me of home.
Issun: Right. What do you dislike about the League?
Annie: I don't like it when people call me evil. I'm not evil. Am I?
Issun: I don't think so. But then again, I suppose you're not called "the Dark Child" for nothing. You are the daughter of two former Noxian mages, after all. Oh, and within the conversation, is there anyone you miss in your homeland?
Annie: What's a homeland?
Issun: I don't know for sure, but for now, let's just say it's where you were born.
Annie: Oh, then in that case...I miss my mommy and daddy and everyone else in the Gray Order. They were all really nice to me.
Issun: Can you give an example?
Annie: There was one time when I fell and skinned my knee. Mommy came and bandad-ged it all up. Another time, I tried to get an apple from a tree, but I couldn't reach it. So Daddy helped me up.
Issun: Okay. I understand. Now, then, what's your favorite food?
Annie: Uh, I guess I'd have to say...banana. (giggle) It's really fun to say.
Issun: It is. Now, then, what's your favorite color?
Annie: Purple. What do you think it is?
Issun: Good answer. So, who have you met in the League who particularly interests you?
Annie: Lots of people. But one person is really interesting: Amumu.
Issun: Really?
Annie: He seems really sad all the time. I'm the only person he ever really wants to talk to, so I do what I can to cheer him up. Also, I like saying his name a lot.
Issun: Okay, then. How long do you plan to stay in the League?
Annie: Stay? Now that you mention it, I like being here a lot, but I want to go home sometime. Do you think Mommy and Daddy miss me?
Issun: I'm sure they do, Annie.
Annie: Thank you, mister.
Issun: And thank you for letting me interview.
Annie: You're welcome. Bye bye.


Comment below rating threshold, click here to show it.

Oceanic Eggroll

Member

02-16-2012

Zilean and Ziggs!
Get it? 'Cuz they both use bombs?
*Ziggs_Laugh.wav*


Comment below rating threshold, click here to show it.

Edasich

Senior Member

02-18-2012

Ziggs

Issun: Uh, it's too dark in here, Ziggs. Can we have a bigger candle, please?
Ziggs: (hands Issun a big stick of dynamite to illuminate a room full of TNT crates) (maniacal chuckle)
Issun: {sarcastically} Oh, ha ha. Very funny. (puts out the dynamite)
Ziggs: Aw. You're no fun. (hands Issun a regular candle to illuminate the room)
Issun: I suppose what you just tried to do to me answers my first question for this interview, which would've been "What do you like to do in your spare time?"
Ziggs: Pretty much.
Issun: Now, then, what do you like about the--(notices Ziggs about to trigger a detonator attached to a pack of C4) Don't even think about it!
Ziggs: Aw, come on! I was just about to answer your question!
Issun: I'd really rather not get blown to bits today. Thank you.
Ziggs: (disgruntled mumbling)
Issun: Next question. What do you dislike about the League?
Ziggs: Everyone keeps trying to do the same thing you're trying to do to me. I mean seriously. Bombs aren't that dangerous.
Issun: Okay, Ziggs. We need to talk. Who was the wiseacre who blew a hole in the wall of the Yordle Academy before he came to the League?
Ziggs: Uh, me?
Issun: Precisely. And who blew up the staff meeting room on the fourth floor of the Institute of War two weeks ago and subsequently got banned from the Fields of Justice for the rest of that day?
Ziggs: Oh...
Issun: Exactly. Now, use your brain for this one. Who tried to blow me sky high twice within the last minute?
Ziggs: I get it! You don't like my bombs!
Issun: Oh, sorry. Moving on, do you miss anyone in your homeland?
Ziggs: You mean miss "can't hit the broad side of a whale" or miss "want to see again but never got the chance to"?
Issun: The latter.
Ziggs: Nobody. I make it a point to visit home at least once a week. We yordles are very sociable people.
Issun: So I hear. Now, then, what's your favorite food?
Ziggs: (lights a bomb and swallows it whole)
Issun: ...
Ziggs: (smoky belch) Mmm. Purple flavored.
Issun: ...Uh...well, how about a color, then?
Ziggs: Anything explosion colored.
Issun: ...Um...
Ziggs: "Um" what?
Issun: Who have you met in the League who particularly interests you?
Ziggs: I'd have to say Shaco. Why? And people say I'm the crazy one around here.
Issun: I see.
Ziggs: More like "eye see".
Issun: ...Okay. Now, to finish this interview, how long do you plan to stay in the League?
Ziggs: Until this happens to it! (knocks over the candle, setting off all the TNT in the room and causing a massive explosion that propels him and Issun into the sky) YEEE-HAAA!
Issun: {simultaneously} AAAAAAAAAAAAAHOWOWOWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGG GGHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!