Guiding Light - A RivenXLux Fanfic

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Cerubois

Senior Member

10-03-2012

Quote:
Originally Posted by AerithRayne View Post
I've been following your story for a while, and I have a helpful suggestion. Maybe this is just me, but I notice you make *too* many dialogue breaks (where most authors forget to make a new paragraph for a new speaker).
Hmm... You may be right. The reason I do so is simply to add emphasis. These are the bits that I want to catch people's attention. But I didn't realize I was doing it so often.

It might be possible to rearrange it to keep that premise and not make it confusing. I'll have another look sometime soon, after a short vacation. :P


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AerithRayne

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Senior Member

10-03-2012

Quote:
Originally Posted by Cerubois View Post
Hmm... You may be right. The reason I do so is simply to add emphasis. These are the bits that I want to catch people's attention. But I didn't realize I was doing it so often.

It might be possible to rearrange it to keep that premise and not make it confusing. I'll have another look sometime soon, after a short vacation. :P
I understand wanting to draw attention to them, and it certainly does so. Perhaps adding the "tag" at the beginning of the sentence or a "So," Irelia said," shall we (for a mock example). It only gets super confusing when there are multiples of the same *** in the conversation, lol.

Take a well deserved vacation after that giant chapter! Thanks for a wonderful update~


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Archaic Burst

Recruiter

10-03-2012

omg that new chapter
you wrote it so well
i cannot wait to see what happens next


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Archaic Burst

Recruiter

10-03-2012

omg that new chapter
you wrote it so well
i cannot wait to see what happens next


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prÝmise

Member

10-03-2012

You write a very convincing and believable Irelia, I couldn't imagine her any differently to your words.
I didn't expect the Lee Sin save at the end; excellent writing!
I'm quietly hoping for the Blind Monk's famous Dragon's Rage in chapter 13!

Enjoy your break :)


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steak style

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Senior Member

10-04-2012

nitpick: "unphased" should be "unfazed" common mistake, I know, but still grating to see

can't wait to see what's going to happen with Yi and Riven. Also is Lux fighting in the next chapter?


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Cerubois

Senior Member

10-04-2012

Quote:
Originally Posted by steak style View Post
nitpick: "unphased" should be "unfazed" common mistake, I know, but still grating to see

can't wait to see what's going to happen with Yi and Riven. Also is Lux fighting in the next chapter?
Ah. Thank you. I should have known that. >.>
I'll have that fixed up after school.

For a very small preview... Yes, we will see Lux fight in the next chapter. How will she fight? What happened in the first round? Those, I cannot answer yet.


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rajeetmalarkey

Senior Member

10-14-2012

Great story; keep it going!


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Roayel

Senior Member

10-22-2012

Grats on 80k, I love this more than anything else in this world. <3


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buneter

Senior Member

10-28-2012

chapter 12 I need ot start reading again im only on chapter 5