Who/What/Why/Where/When/How?

Jesse Perring 3,907 26.43%
Jesse Perring 3,445 23.30%
Jesse Perring 3,802 25.72%
Jesse Perring 3,804 25.73%
Jesse Perring, obviously 12,138 82.11%
Multiple Choice Poll. Voters: 14783. You may not vote on this poll

The Saga of Jesse Perring

First Riot Post
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Rad1987

Senior Member

07-09-2010

Quote:
Originally Posted by EnfEnEt View Post
Jesse Perring wakes up every morning and drinks a cup of coffee.
Jesse Perring drives to work every morning, occasionally grumbling at a red light.
Jesse Perring goes into Riot headquarters, says hey to two or three people and sits down at his computer.
Jesse Perring reads thousands of posts about him written by sweaty, fat men.
Jesse Perring stops.
Jesse Perring reads a certain post and continues....


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Daegen

Senior Member

07-09-2010

I'm the 1,001th post =p BUMP!!


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Thor Of Asgard

Senior Member

07-09-2010

  • All your base are belong to Jesse Perring.
  • When Jesse Perring plays Heimerdinger, his turrets are actually Nexus Turrets.
  • You buy your items from the shopkeeper, the shopkeeper buys them from Jesse Perring, who extracts them with his bare hands from the skull of Baron Nashor.
  • When Jesse Perring has to leave a game to uphold the balance of the universe, YOU get a leaver mark. And he gets a win, though it would matter more if his number of wins wasn't INCONCIEVABLE by mankind.


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MMM So Moist

Member

07-09-2010

this reminds me of when everyone was doing chuck norris jokes, not knowing who chuck norris is.

Incidentally, who the hell is jesse perring?


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viriondDota

Member

07-09-2010

- When Guinsoo punched Roshan, he was reformed into a figurine that we now call turret, but when Jesse Perring punched Roshan, he turned inside out (his rocky skins is now on the inner and the organs are outside that now we call nashoR or Baron roshaN Nashor?


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Lv12 Charmander

Junior Member

07-10-2010

Mudkips liek Jesse Perring

There are over 9,000 results in "Jesse Perring" searches on Google

When Jesse Perring uses Karthus' Ultimate, HoN heroes die

When Soraka uses Wish, Jesse Perring answers.

Jesse Perring already has access to a replay feature

Jesse Perring can pick Baron Nashor as a champion

When an enemy Janna uses Monsoon near Jesse Perring, it drains her HP

If Jesse Perring uses Parley, the other team listens

When a tree falls in the twisted treeline, Jesse Perring hears it.

Singed poison can only heal Jesse Perring

Morderkaiser's armor protects Runeterra from what lay beneath; Jesse Perring.

When Jesse Perring leaves a game, all the other players get a leave instead of him.

Wolf can let Jesse Perring do that.

God gave you knees so you could kneel before Jesse Perring.

Noa had to create the Arc because Jesse Perring was playing Amumu

Jesse Perring does not wait for the apocalypse. Jesse Perring is the apocalypse.

Jesse Perring's lucky number is Infinity.

The sky was the limit, then there was Jesse Perring.

Jesse Perring was wrong once. ...Nah I'm just kidding.

Jesse Perring is a synonym of awesome.

Jesse Perring invented winning.

Cthulhu has nightmares about Jesse Perring.

When Alistar uses Headbutt on Jesse Perring, Alistar is knocked back

Mandred's Bloodrazor rushes Jesse Perring.

Cho'Gath is Jesse Perring's pet hamster.

Haïti knows when Jesse Perring is playing as Rammus.

Jesse Perring can freeze Ashe’s arrow.


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miir

Member

07-10-2010

When Jesse Perring plays Shen and uses his ult on a teammate, the teammate teleports to Jesse Perring.

Althought it's never been necessary, Jesse Perring can use zilean's ult on his own turrets.

When Jesse Perring plays Rammus and types /joke, Rammus tells the funniest joke ever told... only for Jesse Perring to hear.

Jesse Perring once played Cho'gath, and broke the feasting cap. Soon, the fog of war was replaced by Jesse Perring's overgrown cho'gath.

When Jesse Perring plays Cho'gath, first he feasts on the opponents' shopkeeper.

If shaco attacks Jesse Perring from behind, his attacks heal Jesse Perring. Incidentally, all opponent shacos attack Jesse Perring from behind in obligation and reverence.

When Jesse Perring plays Kog'Maw, Kog'Maw has no passive.

Every item is a snowball item when Jesse Perring equips it. Even potions.

Jesse Perring always has 21 stacks on soulstealer.

Jesse Perring has a variable number of item slots. Sometimes he only has one item slot. Sometimes he has seven.

Opponents' heal summoner spells also heal Jesse Perring.

On a 5v5 map, Jesse Perring has 20 summoner spells because every other player, even the opponents willingly forfeit their spells for Jesse Perring to use.

Jesse Perring can pause games.

If you ever are in a game against Jesse Perring, you do not have /tuant, /laugh, /joke or /dance. You only have /apologize and /bow.

Jesse Perring tried to play in a bot game once, but the bots kept queue dodging.

When an opponent tries to use some crowd control spell on Jesse Perring, it backfires... eg. fiddle's fear will only fear fiddle.

When Jesse Perring uses a crowd control spell on an opponent, the opponent experiences the effect in real life... eg. fiddle's fear causes fear irl.

Jesse Perring has no birthday. He was spawned at a the fountain.

It's mathematically impossible for Jesse Perring to have a Kill / Death ratio... you'd have to divide by zero.

If you ever play against Jesse Perring, take note that by default, the game brings up a /surrender vote as soon you spawn.


The items in the game are just imperfect digital replicas of random stuff in Jesse Perring's closet.


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IronLegion

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Senior Member

07-10-2010

Jesse Perring once had connection problems and LOL disconnected.


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shing0

Senior Member

07-10-2010

- Jesse Perring always gets a fair solo que.


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vackin

Senior Member

07-10-2010

Chuck Norris split in half, and Jesse Perring stepped out.