A Fanfic: Diana

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Sooiga Iboogie

Member

11-20-2013

So I was looking at General discussion and I saw somebody write a fan fiction about Diana with hot cocoa and implied ***, so I thought I'd give a try.

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One day, Diana woke up from her home, a barn, in her smelly hay stack, horses neighing as they awoke around her. Diana yawned, a bit groggy from having just woke up, and stood up, spinning around in circles at the speed of light to get all of the hay stuck to her off. As Diana was the Scourge of the Moon, she didn't need to bathe, so she didn't.

Diana decided she was going to do some super-duper special today. Today there wasn't a battle on the Fields of Justice, so she didn't have anything to worry about, and so she decided she would visit her old friend, Urgot. She trotted out of the barn like a horse, neighing as she did so and balancing her moon-sickle on her nose on the way out, mocking the horses behind her.

She got onto her super fancy unicycle and began peddling down the road towards the local department store to meet her old friend. As she arrived a the department store, she slammed into one of the walls with such precision that she was flung through a window, shards of glass spraying everywhere as Diana did a ninja-roll and stood up, unscathed with a few children in front of her in a blood, glass-filled mess. "THE MOON ALSO RISES!" she shouted, staring at the children with angst and a very big frown before running away.

Travelling up an escalator, she saw the big, fat, pus-filled entity that was Urgot, elegantly chewing on a frozen Snickers bar as he sat down in a fancy, skinny chair, his four, spider-like legs crossed. Urgot had always been transgender, so he always loved to act feminine, thus why he had been crossing his legs and wearing a bright pink bonnet. Diana walked up to Urgot from behind, dropping her sickle and hugging the disgusting, effeminate monster affectionately, rubbing her face all into the mass of misery and fat. Urgot squeaked cutely as this happened, looking back at Diana. "D-Diana-chan! Pls!" he squealed, dropping his frozen Snickers bar in the progress. Diana responded with a snicker and a grim smile. "It's been so long, hasn't it, Urgot, you fat pile of lard butter," she said, looking down at the ground as she continued to hug him, "I always hated you, you bastard."

With that, she retracted herself back from hugging Urgot and picked up her super strong moon-sickle and swung upwards with it, Urgot in the path of the swing, and sliced the fat piece of **** right in half, ending his miserable second life, and leaving Urgot on the ground, deflated and soaking in a puddle of green ooze. "Ow, pls Diana-chan," Urgot said, clearly not dead. And Diana walked off, picking up Urgot's frozen Snickers bar and eating it for herself, greedily.

Diana sat down on her butt, crossing her legs with ultimate femininity as opposed to Urgot, and ordered a soft-serve icecream from the brightly dressed maid at the frozen sweets store, elegantly eating the icecream as Urgot continued to be a deflated, monstrous on the floor a few feet away from her. Hours passed as Diana continuously ordered serving after serving of icecream, a janitor had come along and vacuumed up Urgot during the time span of Diana's great, creamy indulgence. As Diana ordered her fiftieth cup of icecream, her belly was out, she looked pregnant, and cream was pouring out of her lips. Diana just didn't know when to stop.

(Just a warning, this last paragraph is just... bad.)

Pretty soon Leona walked by Diana and noticed her before turning around and walking up to her. "It's only been two days since we did it, how are you already this pregnant?" Leona as, a hand on her hip and a disapproving eyebrow raised as she looked at the cream-pregnant Diana who was blushing heavily in embarrassment. "I've just been eating icecream, I'm not pregnant with our child."

TO BE CONTINUED NEVER AGAIN.

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Little did we know, Leona has the capability of manifesting any body part she desires, as she is a pretty cool person and that's all it takes to do so.


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Sooiga Iboogie

Member

11-20-2013

Bump. Pls. Don't let my life's work go to waste.


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Silver Flask

Senior Member

11-20-2013

What. The. Duck.


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Sooiga Iboogie

Member

11-20-2013

Quote:
Originally Posted by Silver Flask View Post
What. The. Duck.
I love your input. Did you like the part where Urgot died or was that a bit too dramatic? (spoilers: he didn't actually die)


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Dark Binding

Senior Member

11-20-2013

Wtf


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Sooiga Iboogie

Member

11-20-2013

Why is everybody insulting my life's creation. I spent roughly 30 minutes of my life writing it, it's not weird. Pls.


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Terchuy

Senior Member

11-20-2013

Excellent imagery in the first part. Didn't like the ending.

Would read again.


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Sooiga Iboogie

Member

11-20-2013

Quote:
Originally Posted by Terchuy View Post
Excellent imagery in the first part.
Good, that's about the only part of the story where I was actually a little enthusiastic. Past the beginning... I just got bored and was thinking "So where can I end this without looking completely lazy?" I guess the ending is a bit lazy though. I dunno why I'm treating this like it's anything special; it's just a mess of stupidity and weirdness.

MOAR CRITICISM PLS. I want to become J. R. R. Tolkien before I die!


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Lesbian Diana

Senior Member

11-20-2013

i was going to be offended then I ended up laughing harder than I should have

7.5/10


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Sooiga Iboogie

Member

11-20-2013

Quote:
Originally Posted by Lesbian Diana View Post
i was going to be offended then I ended up laughing harder than I should have

7.5/10
Such name.


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