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(Joke) Gabe Newell - Overlord of Valve

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Junior Member


One day Gabe Newell decided to play League of Legends. Not satisfied with the role of summoner, he delayed Episode 3 indefinitely to romp the Fields of Justice as a Champion.

Passive - Rotundness - Gabe's fat forms a blubbery layer of protection, and therefore he enjoys a conversion of 2% of his max HP into armor and magic reduction.

Q - Delay: Gabe Delays his target, damaging them for 50/80/110/140 (+0.8), and slowing them for 1/1.25/1.5/1.75/2 seconds.

W - Nerf: Gabe decides the game is unfair and debuffs all nearby enemies, causing them to deal 2/4/6/8/10% less physical and magic damage for 3/4/5/6/7 seconds.

E - "Nope, just me, Gabe Newell!": A nearby Champion becomes invisible as long as he or she stays still for 10/15/20/25/30 seconds. This effect ends if Gabe Newell moves out of range.

R - Stride: Gabe Newell goes into a godlike trance and decides to take the day off from...pretty much everything. While Striding, Gabe moves 50% faster; Delay's damage, slow, AP ratio, and duration are doubled;If cast on the enemy Nerf will be in effect until Stride ends, and "Nope, Just Me, Gabe Newell!" Will stealth ALL nearby Champions when used with an effectively tripled range.

Stride lasts for 15/25/35 seconds.

Also, while Striding, Rotundness' effectiveness is boosted to 10%.

Selection: "MEANWHILE, AT VALVE..."

Joke: "Every time you hit me, I delay Episode 3 by 10 seconds." "GABEN!"

Dance: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hw4rc3MKS9Y (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hw4rc3MKS9Y)

Death: Upon dieing, Gabe Newell will explode like a Boomer. Enemy Champions caught in the blast will find themselves coated in Horde-attracting bile - however, as there are no Infected in League of Legends, theoretically everyone would be safe. . ..


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Senior Member


Rotundness is pretty OP, but it's all just too good to really complain about.

If Gabe is playable in DotA 2...

All of my money.