Zalos, The Noxian Outlaw

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Vicious Fury

Junior Member

12-06-2012

Quote:
Originally Posted by Moby the White View Post
reason i changed it is for the same tense rule. if you start telling a storying using the past tense you should typically keep it past tense unless somehow you make it catch up to present tense. plus within a sentence if i say something like the following:

Tracy and I are going to the movies and we are watching it while eating popcorn.

the sentence remains in the same tense

but if i said:

Tracy and I are going to the movies and we are watches it while eats popcorn

none of what i said makes sense...in fact i had a very hard time trying to come up with a sentence that fit this.


some instances i changes stuff just to sound better. I utilized the word that to separate the two members. I am far from perfect at english but these are minor changes that i thought you could make in order to improve your lore.

overall i think the concept is unique like i said. I was kind of upset that the gold mechanic didn't penalize you. With the new talent trees i could see a champion that utilizes the pickpocket quite well here

Well i did make the change to the 'E' skill (i'm not sure if you caught it) but i also had a brainstorm and wanted to not make it a multicast but make it flow with his passive i think you for your assistance in helping me with my lore and i will do better with the next champion idea i come up with


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Vicious Fury

Junior Member

12-06-2012

pardon my bad spelling at the time rather tired and kind of lacking in focus at the moment


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Moby the White

Senior Member

12-06-2012

Quote:
Originally Posted by Vicious Fury View Post
Well i did make the change to the 'E' skill (i'm not sure if you caught it) but i also had a brainstorm and wanted to not make it a multicast but make it flow with his passive i think you for your assistance in helping me with my lore and i will do better with the next champion idea i come up with
well i think with every rough draft there comes a lot of work man you have a neat idea that requires fine tuning as does every other idea...

for example if you take a look at my champion Vudu you will notice that throughout the enitrety of this week I've done pretty much nothing but fix one spell all due to how i worded it, and peoples inability to understand my intent. People liked it but they didn't grasp how it worked entirely. So i spent lots of time on it.

Things take work...you can see how in any of my champions i make countless updates throughout the thread (it means i post a lot on my own thread but still). give it time you will have a great champion in Zalos I am sure of it.


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Vicious Fury

Junior Member

12-06-2012

Thanks alot you've helped me by alot and with your added assist i assure you i will have some champions that will blow peoples minds....just as soon as i get the inspiration lol


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Moby the White

Senior Member

12-06-2012

Quote:
Originally Posted by Vicious Fury View Post
Thanks alot you've helped me by alot and with your added assist i assure you i will have some champions that will blow peoples minds....just as soon as i get the inspiration lol
Feel free to take a look at my stuff and see how I organize it and how my scaling works it isn't perfect but it is a nice example


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