[Champion Concept] Gabriel, the Scrap Animator

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Shrouded Snake

Senior Member

09-09-2012

Hello guys. This is my first attempt at creating a champion. Suggestions and constructive criticism are welcome.

Riot. I give you permission to use this champion and bring about any tweeks you see fit.

Gabriel, the Scrap Animator

Lore: The city-state of Zaun is an excellent city for those with the money and equally loose morality. For those who don’t, you will not find a bigger cesspit in all of Valoran. Gabriel lives in the latter part of Zaunite life. Every day is a struggle just to make ends meet. In order to simply survive in such a world, Gabriel takes the path of a scavenger, often going to Zaun's junkyards to find scraps that can be re-purposed or reused.

When Gabriel's little brother is kidnapped by unknown people, Gabriel immediately went out to look for them, with an army of mana-infused, animated scrap bunnies following him. The resulting meeting quickly turns into an all-out brawl. Despite his lack of battle experience, Gabriel did a decent job of confusing the kidnappers with maze-like walls and exploding poros. The fight was cut short when strong gusts of wind blew over the field of battle, threatening to bury and impale everyone.

The next day, Janna and a few summoners show up on Gabriel's door step. They know about the fight and are giving Gabriel an offer. Join them and receive formal training in magic control along with financial aid to the family.

“Mommy! Look! Gabe made me a living metal bunny for my birthday” Gabriel's little sister.


Role
Mage, Ranged, Burst

Description:

Age: 16
Height: 5'2"
Hair: Oily Rich brown, keeps it in a short low cut.
Eyes: Hazel brown.
Build: Some muscle but skinny for the most part.
Other features: Very effeminate to the point where people couldn't tell if he's a guy or a girl if it weren't for the hair cut.
Clothes: Padded workman glove, worn heavy duty boots, blowtorch attached to his belt, backpack made of thick leather, overalls and a t-shirt with stains all over them.

Stats
Health: 380 (+82) ----------------->1856
Health Regen: 4.5 (+0.55) ------>14.4
Mana: 250 (+55) ------------------>1240
Mana Regen: 6.50 (+0.65) ---------->18.85
Attack Damage: 50 (+3.2) ------->107.6
Attack Speed: 0.625 (+2.24%) ->0.877
Armor: 10 (+3.5) ---------------------->73
Magic Resist: 30
Speed: 340
Range: 550

Passive: Scavenge
When you kill a minion and get an assist or kill on a champion, scrap is placed in its location (1 for every 3 minion, 2/3/4 for champion) for 5 seconds. Picking up 10/9/8 scrap creates a "Lots of scrap" buff (max of 3) that empowers your next ability.

Q: Sticky Scrap bomp
Effect: You throw a scrap bomb to the target, after 4 seconds; it explodes, dealing 75/115/155/195/235 + (0.8 AP) magic dmg to minions and champs within radius.
Lots of scrap buff: When the bunny explodes, enemies caught in the blast will have a mini bunny attached to them. After 2 seconds, these mini bunnies explodes, dealing 25% damage to the target.
If a unit dies with a main bomb on it, it explodes
Type: Malzahar E or Zilean's Q
CD: 10/9/8/7/6
Mana cost: 55/65/75/85/95
Range: 650
Radius: 275


W: Walls of Scrap
Effect: You create to 2 walls of scrap. After a brief delay, the 2 walls closes in on each other, rooting everything it passes through
Lots of scrap buff: Adds a 20% movement speed debuff that scales down over 4 seconds when the root ends.
Type: Viktor's lazer (Vector based)
Cost: 70/80/90/100/110 mana
Root duration: 1/1.25/1.5/1.75/2 seconds
Range: 550
Distance between the walls: 500
Wall length: 300/325/350/375/400
Delay: 0.625 seconds
CD: 16/15/14/13/12


E: Kamikaze Bunny
Effect: You fire a bunny in a straight line dealing 65/110/155/200/245 + (0.85 AP) AoE damage upon contact with an enemy.
Lots of Scrap buff: Increase the blast radius by 50.
Type: Quinn's Q
CD: 12/11/10/9/8
Mana: 65/70/75/80/85
Range: 900
Radius: 275


R: Scrap Tornado
Effect: You create a tornado of random sharp objects. Everyone caught inside takes 100/150/200 + (0.25 AP) every second and is blinded.
Type: Anivia's ultimate
Duration: 4 seconds
CD: 125/112.5/100
Mana: 125/150/175
Range: 700
Radius: 350
Bonus: All units of scrap within the tornado are collected when the tornado ends.

Quotes:
Selection: Now where did I put that rusty cannon ball? *mutters*
Movement: Going!
Movement 2: You sure?
Movement 3: Can I use the little boy's room first?
Movement 4 (upon walking on water): Beware the otters. They're vicious
Attacking: For the bunnies!
Attacking 2: Glass or rusty nails?
R: (Upon killing a champion) That's gotta hurt. It's working as intended.
Taunts: *sticks his butt out* Kiss it!
Joke: Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience.((True-er words have never been said))
Joke 2: The only words you can truly believe from an assassin is if they mean to hurt or kill you.
Joke 3: What do you call a sheep with no legs? A cloud
Recall: But mom... I don't wanna go to school.
Dance: Dancing Banana.


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Wulffe

Senior Member

09-10-2012

Looking good so far. Of course, with ploki's, Bliz's and Nyo's help I wouldn't expect any less. :P

Here's my bit. He needs lore and a bit more in his description. You pretty much described Ezreal in that little bit you had. :X I like the collection idea in the passive. I would also love to see a Kamikaze Bunny in game. I would die laughing, probably literally as it'd likely be chasing me everywhere (Screw you, Maokai's seedlings!). W looks like it'd be more Ult worth. 4 champions at once? That may or may not be OP...don't listen to me on this. E is also a neat concept. R, I envisioned something between a Maokai ult, Grave's W and Talon ult but as a skillshot. How close am I to that?

Over all, not a bad concept so far. Just needs several tweaks for presentation. Looking forward to seeing him as he develops! Also, let me know when you update him with lore and I'll plug him into the index thread.


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Arixa

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Recruiter

09-10-2012

This may be the only time ever that I've seen a champion with underpowered abilities. I commend you on that as it is usually much harder to reel in a design than buff it.

Passive: It's cute though a little risky to have to run in for melee. My only real beef with this is why don't champions drop junk? This ability doesn't work in team fights. It would be nice if champions dropped a lot of junk(3-5) when she got a kill or assist allowing her some snowballing.

Q: It's cute. Can the bunny be intercepted by minions and other enemies or does it always go to the targeted location? The damage is too low. Most mage Q's do in the range of 250ish damage. Even champions like Zyra do more than 190 with her aoe Q.

W: Cooldown is too long, especially for doing no damage. Swains version does over 200 damage(plus the amp from his dot) and has half the cooldown at max rank of this spell. The root duration is right though! Use of the word "place" to me seems like she is tossing out a full fledged statue. Is that the feel you are looking for? I would have thought the statue grew from the earth.

E: Damage and cooldown are both under powered. Most spells do at least 200 damage. Does noming champions also stack up how much damage the dot does? It probably should for teamfight considerations. Lastly you should find a cap for number of noms. Why? Because if you cap it you can give it more meaningful numbers and if you don't you have to balance it around the "best case" which is a wave of 20+ minions with your target on the other side.

R: Your only overpowered ability. Why is it op? 650 radius. That is the range of Caitlyn's auto attack. It will take more than 2 seconds to run out of this thing its absolutely huge. This is probably bigger than maokai ult. You can't even flash out of this(flash is only 400 range). Otherwise I liked the threat level of the spell and the persistent dot makes sure it does at least a good chunk of damage. The blind might be op as well(on average you'll be blinded like 5 seconds) but if you tone down the radius it might fall into balance.

Overall: Feels gadgety thanks to the flavor of the abilities and personally I find it cute. Has a good mix of damage and CC abilities that fit within the realm of what a mage in League might have. Numbers are off and the minion specific interactions probably need to be tweaked but this is definitely one of the better starting points I've seen on the boards good job. The cutesy nature and short height led me to think this was a girl through out the entire read until I got to your explanation.


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Adiwik

Senior Member

09-10-2012

i want this...... <3


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ObscureClockwork

Senior Member

09-10-2012

Hello, thx for the review on sybil
and is bliztron available for reviewing O.o? i would like to see him review sibyl

wlel, here goes
Lore: missing, but i can see many many ideas possible from this guy. do remember to make it related to space though

Stats: not here. im expecting lower base mana regen due to passive, but probably higher scaling to help him late game.

Skills:
Passive, very good in lane. i would say near useless outside of it. this is a wholistic problem i will talk about later

also, note that i feel the cooldowns on your skills are part of the wholistic problem. ill comment on it later

Q: very cool. Very weak in terms of damage. imo, because it has no "drop" it should be higher damage (drop is refering to mao saplings)
also, idk if it can be intercepted by minions is it a yorick ghoul? or maokai sapling?

W: idk if by trap you mean like a teemo shroom, or a swain nevermove. Overall, its really weak, no damage, low duration snare. buff it, its a very very weak utility skill.

E: its a cool idea. still a weak skill.Add scaling to nomming or make it capped so you can make it stronger. its weak in damage.

R: overpowered.Scaling and damage is way high. also, what do you mean by DoT?
does that mean over 2.5 seconds, it does 400 + .95 AP, and after you leave the tornado, you get damaged still from this dot?
also, the radius is high
problems with the super high ult is that it makes him ult dependent. I personally dont like how ult dependant xerath is, and i feel mages should be using their entire kit, not just the ult, to do their main business.

Wholistic:
Cooldowns too long to account for passive. in lane, he will be a monster. outside, he will be weak. that is gimping hte potential for this guy imo. its a cool passive, but its not practical outside of teamfights. no one will win a teamfight with 10 CD skill of that damage class.

so, you should find a way to lower the cooldowns of his basic skills, or make it so his teamfighting ability isnt gimped from having to account for the passive

and i want to say you did a pretty damned good job at your first champion. my first champion had problems with complexity, design, op skills, practicality, but you did a first design well. good job!


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Shrouded Snake

Senior Member

09-10-2012

Okay guys. I've added a first draft of the Lore, updated the abilities and changed the description. Again, suggestions and constructive criticism are welcome.


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Bliztron

Senior Member

09-10-2012

I'm so proud of you ;_;

They grow up so fast


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Shrouded Snake

Senior Member

09-10-2012

Quote:
Originally Posted by Bliztron View Post
I'm so proud of you ;_;

They grow up so fast
DADA! baby voice


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ObscureClockwork

Senior Member

09-10-2012

Quote:
Originally Posted by Shrouded Snake View Post
DADA! baby voice
lol, i just imagined blitzcrank holding some baby robot going DADA


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Shrouded Snake

Senior Member

09-10-2012

Quote:
Originally Posted by ObscureClockwork View Post
lol, i just imagined blitzcrank holding some baby robot going DADA
And I just imagined a skin for Blitz. Nursery Blitzcrank with him/it holding a baby bottle in one hand, the robo-baby in the other and wearing a nursery apron or coat.


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