Swarm of the Void- Art included

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Izakabu

Junior Member

07-18-2012

Hey, it's not like I am a master by any sense of the imagination, but I'll review this and I hope you review my Dobutsu: The Beast Master at some point.

The main issue I found was that his abilities were increasing AD (passive, ult) when the rest of it, meaning the combo stuff, really seemed to focus on AP and try to make yourself as efficient as possible with starting and ending a battle with a combo. You might, (and again, I'm not the best source of info,) want to make the passive more AP oriented, maybe make it so every basic attack adds a stack to your passive, and the next abilty gets +X power times however many stacks. You could also change the ult, making it so that instead of a passive, you have an active that if you activate at the end of a combo, (the three abilities thing) it finishes that combo with a multi void monster attack of some sort.(Just one finisher no matter what combo, for heavy AP damage if done successfully.) Going with that, you could take away the basic Q and use the basic W for that instead, and make the basic W a cc attack, because that's what you siad the W combo would be, but I feel like it could use a slow or stun. "...the Q path will have the strongest use in single target physical damage, W will reap the most cc, and E will do the most AOE magic damage."

In summary, I just think you should trash the hybrid and go full AP. Sorry if that's a bad idea.
I hope you think some of my ideas are good! Thanks for reading!


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BergMeister

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Senior Member

07-19-2012

Quote:
Originally Posted by Izakabu View Post
Hey, it's not like I am a master by any sense of the imagination, but I'll review this and I hope you review my Dobutsu: The Beast Master at some point.

The main issue I found was that his abilities were increasing AD (passive, ult) when the rest of it, meaning the combo stuff, really seemed to focus on AP and try to make yourself as efficient as possible with starting and ending a battle with a combo. You might, (and again, I'm not the best source of info,) want to make the passive more AP oriented, maybe make it so every basic attack adds a stack to your passive, and the next abilty gets +X power times however many stacks. You could also change the ult, making it so that instead of a passive, you have an active that if you activate at the end of a combo, (the three abilities thing) it finishes that combo with a multi void monster attack of some sort.(Just one finisher no matter what combo, for heavy AP damage if done successfully.) Going with that, you could take away the basic Q and use the basic W for that instead, and make the basic W a cc attack, because that's what you siad the W combo would be, but I feel like it could use a slow or stun. "...the Q path will have the strongest use in single target physical damage, W will reap the most cc, and E will do the most AOE magic damage."

In summary, I just think you should trash the hybrid and go full AP. Sorry if that's a bad idea.
I hope you think some of my ideas are good! Thanks for reading!
I may rework some of his abilities when I get to the numbers as well as what it gives AD or AP, but I do however want him to be hybrid possible, he can still be built in a pure AP fashion and do well, but the meta build for him is supposed to be hybrid included a trin force, gunblade, and rageblade. Perhaps I need to reword my passive but basically, omen gets extra crit on his basic attack but may not do as much as the other two if he doesnt crit, qualm has extra damage for the ammount of health he has, and gevaar has AP added to his basic attack. I may take into consideration though the base abilities of the void-dogs though, the thought was originally to have each scream to set up for what was coming, I may move around and change abilities to better suit that path. but the other thing I was attempting to accomplish was going the W path would reap more CC, but finishing that path with the Q would be more single target pain/cc, finishing with E would be more AOE CC.


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Rolepgeek

Senior Member

07-21-2012

Base Stats

You no have any.

I could suggest some.

Health: 480 +90 per level. (160 + 30 per level each)
Health Regen: 7.5 + .75 per level
Energy: 100
Energy Regen: 25 per 5 seconds.
Attack Damage: 53 + 3.8 per level.
Attack Speed: 0.600 (+ 1.5% per level). That's basically .200 + .5% per level for each of them.
Armor: 12 + 3 per level.
Magic Resist: 30 + 1.25 per level.
Movement Speed: 305
Range: 175

Passive - Insatiable Hunger

Their attack damage against the same target could increase by 5/10/15 each time, perhaps? Up to a maximum of 20/40/60 total extra? With this ability, I would advise low base Attack Speed for the stats. The attacks between each of the beasts should cycle. And Omen's can't be 10/25/30. It would need to be 10/20/30, since it has to scale evenly. You don't need to describe when they upgrade, the game does that on it's own. Qualm's could add 2/2.5/3% of maximum health, and Gevaar's could add 20/30/40% of AP. However, I also have another suggestion. Once the Swam reaches 67% of it's health, Gevaar 'dies'. Once it reaches 34%, Qualm does too. If you survive, and heal, then a void portal opens for a short amount of time, and they rejoin you. This would balance out the strength of your passive here. The refund seems fine.

Q Ability - Omen of Agony

I would say 50/100/150/200/250 damage, plus .5 AD would work. It could last for 5 seconds I would say. but 1.5% is tiny...perhaps the Swarm gains 10/12.5/15/17.5/20% Armor and Magic Penetration for 3 seconds or so? How long does Crippling Bite last? This is a matter of opinion of course, but I would suggest calling it Hamstring(the act of cutting the hamstring). Damage could be 35/75/115/155/195, plus .3 AD, since it has the slow effect. Rend might deal 8/11/14/17/20% as damage(not all of which would affect them due to armor). I assume the 150% means of AD, in which case you should say so, and 1/1.5/2/2.5/3 would work. Or just a flat 2 seconds, in which case the AD should scale with leve(120/135/150/165/180%?) Cleave should have a limit on the number of times it can be used, based on level, and should affect one foe at a time, otherwise far too powerful(lots of damage there, you know). Like a very short range skillshot, and if it hits, he can use it again within the next second. Up to 2/3/4/5/6 times. The whole ability could have a normal cooldown of 20/19/18/17/16 seconds, with an energy cost of 25 for all of them save the first, which costs 40. Effective range, for any of the abilities, should be quite short, about 250 for all of them except Omen of Agony. That should have a range of maybe, 400?

W Ability - Sentiment of Fear

Ouch, true damage...hmmm...maybe 20/50/80/110/140 + .2 AP. True damage is pretty powerful. And there's only Tenacity for the reduction by the way. I suggest 5 seconds, but the Tenacity reduction scales with level. 20/25/30/35/40%, perhaps(but meaning it reduces the effect of the tenacity)? If they don't have Tenacity, then that would mean the CC would last that much longer. Screech could double the magic resist reduction, and deal the same amount of damage as Herpetaphobia(I'll do that later). Though I don't know why it's called Screech if he just stares...Ferocious bite could do more or less the same thing, doubling the vulnerability, and dealing 30/60/90/120/150 +.3 AD true damage(60% of the damage Omen of Agony deals, basically). Discharge seems a lot like Spell Flux, so I suggest it bounces up to four times, if there isn't more than one enemy, it simply does triple the single hit damage. The enemies would have to be within say 250 units of each other, and the balls speed is 750. It would deal perhaps, 20/45/70/95/120 damage each hit? And if a target dies, they deal 50/75/100/125/150 damage to all enemies within 200 units of them. Gaping Wound could deal 50/90/130/170/210 damage, and another 30/55/80/105/130 damage over 4 seconds. The range, cost, and cooldown would be the same as your Q ability, except for Discharge and screech, which would have a range of 400.

E Ability - Herpetaphobia

Damage for the first ability could be 60/70/80/90/100, but the amount of MR reduce would be a number, and increase much more. 15/30/45/60/75 MR reduce. Hehehehehe...Infection should deal a good amount of damage, say 80/100/120/140/160 but over a very long amount of time. 7 seconds, and they have to be within 300 units of an allied unit for 2 seconds continuously to spread the infection. And they can get the infection back. And it can affect minions, so a very good AoE DoT ability, even without being there often. Bad Breath might deal 50/110/170/230/290 damage, and silence for 2 seconds. Energizing Roar could increase the AS and MS by say, 30/35/40/45/50% for 3 seconds. Nausea would increase the cooldowns by, say, 30/40/50/60/70% for any abilities used withing the next four seconds. Enemies affected would be in a 80 degree cone going for 600 units. Other than that, Cost, range, and cooldown would be the same as Q.

R Ability - Dark Swarm
The passive is nice, but too powerful. That's making every 4 attacks equal to 4.5 at first getting this, into 5.25 at the next level, and into 6 at the last. AND an energy refund? No. Master Yi's passive increases every 7th attack into 8, not every 8 into 9, then 10.5, and then 12. As a straight comparison, the ratio is 63:72, while yours would be 64:72(Master Yi has slightly better at this point), then a comparison ratio of 147:168 to a ratio of 124:168(yours is better now), and finally a ratio of 14:16 to 14:21(far better now,with an energy refund too!) No. Every 4th attack is good, and fine, but a lower percentage. Maybe 50/60/70%. And a lower energy refund that scales properly. Like 5/10/15 or so. Anyway. On to the active. I'm going to actually review this, not just suggest numbers. I would think the extra voidbeasts would simply increase the attack speed by...a lot. The energy seems fine, so I'm going to suggest numbers now. 50/75/100 (+.2 AD/+.3 AP) physical damage per attack, but it summons two each time, and it increases attack speed by 66%(up to 1.000 not counting anything else, like level.), and causes it to cycle between all of them. It also adds max/temp health, maybe, and once that health is gone, the beasts disappear? Just an idea. It could add 300/500/700, maybe? The void energy could deal 20/50/80 (+.05 AP) true damage to enemies within 100 per second as long as the ability's active.

Summary

I really like the idea, and am going to do something in a subsequent post for possible lore and other things. Just suggestions, mind you, though.


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Rolepgeek

Senior Member

07-21-2012

Lore:

Hubert Helmekson kissed his wife and children goodbye before heading out to hunt for the day. His bow was strung, and his dogs, Omis, Quip, and Flop were eager. The three hunting hounds had been raised since birth by the woodsman. Helmekson, hearing of more human dangers in his usual hunting grounds, and a recent migration of deer in a close-by region, decided to take a different route for the day, since he believed fervently in the truth of rumors. As they neared their destination, Hubert spotted a strange, rabbitish creature, and deciding to let his dogs enjoy the chase, sent them after it. The strange rodent was quick, agile, and smart, and easily outwitted them though, eventually jumping into a small burrow hole, through which a purple light was glowing. The beasts, caught up in the thrill of the chase, with no wish to displease their owner, jumped excitedly into the burrow, as it was just large enough for them to fit.

Noone ever saw Hubert, his dogs, or his family again. And since noone but he and his relatives knew how to get to the cabin they lived in, noone ever saw that again. But, three strange six-legged dog-lizard beasts were soon seen raiding herds of livestock, and attacking villages. They became more and more bold over time, using strange, evil energy, and becoming brutal in their slaughter. People began to appease the League for help, and eventually, the summoners agreed. The threat needed to be contained. But when they observed the creatures, they found a remarkable similarity to two void creatures already in the League, so they called in Kassadin for assistance. Upon seeing the beasts, Kassadin cursed and demanded the League to kill them. Instead though, the summoners captured the beasts, seeing no reason to execute such powerful combatants. When knowledge of this reached Kassadin, he stormed into the summoner's office, cursing profusely. The summoners restrained the man and sent him away, so they could study this...trio of the Void.

End Lore.

Now, I have a few ideas in the name category of things, and for how their combos could work...

Omen, Qualm, and Folly.
As for the way combos worked, you could only use each button once. Basically, If you hit Q, that would go on it's normal cooldown, but the other two would go on a 1 second cooldown. Using one of those would put that one on it's normal cooldown, and the one you hadn't used would be on a 1 second cooldown, and when you used that, all of your cooldowns would be reduced by 10 seconds, and you would get the energy refund. And now for the ability names.

Q: Portent of Agony
(W) Q: Hamstring
(E) Q: Cleave
(E, W) Q: Head Bash
(W, E) Q: Rend

W: Sentiment of Doubt
(Q) W: Shredding Bite
(E) W: Staredown
(E, Q) W: Disembowel
(Q, E) W: Discharge

E: Seed of Dementia
(Q) E: Infected Bite
(W) E: Nauseating Breath
(W, Q) E: Energizing Roar
(Q, W) E: Screech

Also, you've inspired me to create my own combo-based champ...right after I make the dozen others swimming in my head. :P


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BergMeister

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Senior Member

07-21-2012

alot of good information here, ill have to take some time when i have it to fully read through this, thank you very much. any particular champion you would like to have reviewed for such a stellar review?

Question though. Should Qualm and Gevaar die, how would that affect his abilities? I like the idea, and I had originally thought of something like that, but I'm simply trying to figure out if the mechanic would even be available. Still reading through, will edit this with more questions as they come.


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Rolepgeek

Senior Member

07-22-2012

If they die, I would think he wouldn't be able to use their respective button. Thus, he's less effective the lower his health. So you'd have to play him carefully.


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BergMeister

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Senior Member

07-22-2012

Quote:
Originally Posted by Rolepgeek View Post
If they die, I would think he wouldn't be able to use their respective button. Thus, he's less effective the lower his health. So you'd have to play him carefully.
if that were the case, it would be necessary for him to have passive sustain, or a high base health and/or health regain. Since he is melee and it requires a lot of combos the player cant be afraid to jump in on a target. It would be incredibly easy to beat the swarm then. It would also discourage players to build a DPS Bruiser build and more likely to go tank, thus in order to keep him from being OP the abilities would have to have a lower base rate of damage. Doing this though would cause him to be less effective than a tank such as allistar or naut though because if he did take any burst all of a sudden he can only use two abilites and that severely limits the capability of the Swarm. However, a slight alternative to that would be all 3 having a separate yet slightly lower health bars, that do not share the same health bar yet share all of the same magic resist/ armor. You would have to choose which one to focus. Issue again with this is making him overpowered. One idea that would be good perhaps though, as the Swarm dies off and the less health the collective Swarm has the more their basic attacks deal and the faster their attack speeds are, that would allievate the underpowered one being left with only two abilities, his respective ability and the ult, which would not summon qualm or gevaar back, but only brings other voidbeasts in temporarily. As far as your question of what happens to the void beasts after the ult drops off, the entire time the 3 main voidbeasts are transferring their power into sustaining them (by discription not by mana or a channeled spell) after the timer wears out what happens is the Swarm exhausts and the portal collapses and the summoned voidbeasts decay into a cloud of purple energy that then dissipates. Its the purpose the voidbeasts were sent back to the world, they are attempting to figure out a how to create a portal that sustains itself so they can move the ENTIRE swarm of the void which would be the absolute end of the world into the world. These 3 are able to sustain themselves and not dissipate because they came from the mortal world originally. Cho'gath and Kog'maw are still mysteries as to why they are able to, and the 3 are trying to figure that out. This will all be discussed in the Judgement as soon as I finish it, I'm focusing on the conceptual work at the moment now though, I'd like to get a splash up.


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FarahBoom

Senior Member

07-22-2012

I like his kit set quite a bit, especially with the deep combo chaining.
I would be interested to play another creature character since i did enjoy skarner.

As far as the artwork goes, i like the pencil sketch alot, gives a good understanding of his body.
Digital artwork cant be quite overwhelming. My best advice is open the LARGEST new file you can, i usually work on a canvas about 20"x30". Then you can get really defined lines and have plenty of space so you dont feel restricted. One thing that really helps to is make a REALLY loose and light sketch of the body so you understand how it all looks like in 3D. Then you can make another layer over it with a really clean drawing which will allow you to really control where the color goes.
Your at a good start though, just don't be afraid to get out of your comfort zone and keep the colors and lines loose until you start detail work.
Keep at it and you'll do just fine.


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BergMeister

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Senior Member

07-22-2012

thanks man [: love art tips, theyre extremely helpful.


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LF Teemo

Senior Member

07-23-2012

i started to review this then i got confused and more confused, perhaps you should repost this concept in one main post instead of 3, because its hard to understand whats going on.