Better A Grave At Sea Than Soil

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QA Analyst

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NOTE: THIS IS FAN FICTION (Because I’m a fan of the game too). It is not representative of Riot lore nor Riot’s future plans. Just for fun. Hope you enjoy!

*At Lokfar’s annual Thing, Olaf sits at the end of the table surrounded by children*

“Oh, you little monsters want a story do you? The sea battle again? I told you last time didn’t I? Bah. Then fill my horn! And be quick about it!”

*Olaf settles in and clears his throat as he beckons the children closer*

“Their sails had appeared behind us two days past. Our trade with the mainlanders went sour and we turned that dock damn near to a graveyard. They didn’t take too kindly to that. Ha!”

“We had seen the sails from a ways away so we knew it was a big ship. Should have caught up after half a day, but mainlanders ain’t seamen. Didn’t pay them much heed and we rowed on. Let ‘em come I said! Land or sea, we’ll be happy to send them to meet their fathers! Skol! *Olaf finishes his drink then leans low* But the thunderheads on the horizon looked like they might be sending along the whole lot of us…”

*Olaf realizes his cup is empty and frowns*

“Storm hit that afternoon. No choice but to buckle down and wait as their larger ship cut through the waves with ease. We pulled in our oars, put out the torches, and whetted our blades.”

“As they drew closer, we could hear their rowing chants over the storm. I’d never fought in a squall like that and haven’t since either. Was the kind of storm you’d be lucky just to ride out alive.”

“No point in worryin’ about that though. Flames sprung up along the railing of their ship as they nocked and lit their arrows. We could see their deck a bit now and I estimated nearly 50 men, more than twice our number.”

“’Shields ready!’ I ordered, and my warriors steeled themselves.”

“A cry rang out from the enemy ship and a hail of arrows took flight. We waited breathlessly under our bucklers. One. Two. Three…” *Wide-eyed children hang on Olaf’s every word* “But the volley never came. The arrows were taken in the wind and extinguished even before they hit the waves. We jeered at the enemy ship and beat on our armor. But another volley was quickly readied and this one found its mark. Men howled in pain, some never to rise again. The rest of us though, we stood and gave a war cry.”

“Ah, thank you boy. My throat is right parched.”

*Olaf takes a fresh horn of mead from the child and gulps it down*

“Their ship was so close now we could see their faces with each strike of lightning. Ahh, the gods wailed that night.”


“I picked up my weapon and waited for the assault. Their ship was near alongside us now. Lightning cracked the skies and Kegan hurled his spear between the vessels, felling two men. The rest of us followed suit to varying degrees of effect, but spears have never been my strength. Too impersonal. I like to look a man in the eye when I fight! So I stripped off my armor, and with naught but my two axes I leapt into the churning sea. It was black, and icy waters tore the breath from my lungs. But I reached the enemy ship, followed it around to the other side and started climbing. As I made my way over the edge of the vessel, our ship turned in the storm and the serpentine figurehead that had led us on so many journeys erupted in a hail of wood as it smashed into their bow. A wave crashed over our heads and the two masts locked. The battle had begun.”

“I hung from the railing and watched as the two crews threw themselves at each other between the ships. Most of them made it. But I saw at least one man slip into the sea during the charge, crushed between the boats. I crept onto the deck and entered the fray. My first blow shattered a man’s helm. The second, his skull.”

"’The might of Lokfar approaches!’ I cried."

*Olaf flexes in front of the children*

“I brought down both axes, lightning striking around me. A lifeless body crumpled at my feet and the enemy scattered before my bloodlust. Farmers at sea. Ha!”

“Gonna need another round boy. Faster this time!”

“The sea raged around me. I ripped my axes from the body just as I was attacked from the left. A mainlander with guts! I thought they’d all died back with Avarosa! I lifted my arm just in time to stop the incoming blow. I heard the bone snap before I felt it. Pain screamed through my mind. But as the mainlander readied another attack, I head-butted him in the groin and swung my axe wildly, finding his shin. He cried in agony and fell on top of me, crushing my already useless left arm. Between the pain and the man’s weight, I was unable to lift myself. Despite his wound, the man spun around quickly and wrapped his arm tight against my throat. Tears welled in my eyes as he squeezed the air from me. Another massive wave crashed over the deck as I struggled to break free. The taste of blood and salt filled my mouth.”

“And I sure wish the taste of mead was filling it now! Where’d that boy get to?!”

*A young boy scurries up with a fresh drink, apologizing for having to dip into the reserves.*

“Just bring the barrel next time eh?”

*Olaf spits on the floor*

“Some men say that your life flashes before your eyes as you’re about to die. That’s a load o’ bull. Ain’t nothing running through your head but how to kill the other bastard!” *Olaf grinned and took another swig* “The world started going black around me. But Olaf the Berserker wasn’t going to die to some weakling mainlander! With only one arm and the mainlander still wrapped around my throat, I rose to an elbow… To one knee… I stood! The rage of Lokvar rushed through me and I slammed my attacker to the decks. I gave a cry to shake the very halls of the Gods themselves as I picked that bastard up and pitched him straight into the blackness below.”

“I turned and looked across the ship to see the mainlanders now pouring oil across the decks. They didn't mind dying just so long as they took us along with ‘em. May as well help them out right? So I grabbed a torch and hurled it straight into one of the men’s barrels.”

“BOOM! Flames and death. The barrel exploded and every man but me was blown on their arse, many overboard. Fiery splinters of debris and carnage blasted across both the ships, now dancing in flames. My ears rang from the explosion. My head swam. Both ships were in ruins and sinking fast. But the frenzy was upon me. I rushed through the flames, axing down the enemy as I passed. Five. Six. Seven. I forgot to keep counting. I forgot my arm. I forgot the ships. There was only blood and steel…”

*The children listen with rapt attention*

“Fire was everywhere now. I looked back across the ship and admired my wake of death. Not a mainlander left alive. And the last of my warriors left had recovered, but there was no hope of salvaging the ship. So as the flaming wreckage of the two vessels began to sink to the ocean floor, we chose to test our fate in the frothing sea rather than burn. I dove overboard, leaving my weapons behind. My body roared in protest. Fighting the ocean was much harder this time, but I spotted a mainlander clinging to some flotsam. Even with my wounds, I swam quickly and quietly. Fool didn’t even notice me. When I was upon him, he kicked at me and struggled to get away. But farmers are not seamen.”

“He wasn’t much younger than I was at the time; I remember wondering if this was the best the mainlanders had to offer. I caught his ankle and climbed up his body amidst the waves, pulling him away from the floating wreckage. Ignoring his protests, I finally got a grip with my good arm. The hollow crack of bone vibrated through the waters around me as I snapped his neck.”

“The waves tossed me like a cat toying with a mouse. It was all I could do just to stay above the surface. The few of us still alive were soon scattered as survival become our only priority. Dark, bloody waves tumbled over me and my exhaustion was rapidly setting in. I untied a leather band from my broken arm and secured myself to the commandeered life raft as best I could.”

“The battle with the mainlanders was done, but my battle with the ocean had just begun. But even you young ones know, ‘Better a grave at sea than soil’ eh? Mmm. So, I gave myself up to the mercy of the gods.”

“And what happens after that is another tale. If we ever get any more drink around here, maybe I can tell you that one too…”

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Player Management Coordinator


i want flaming beard sea battle olaf. Well done Manwolf

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Associate eSports Manager

2 of 4 Riot Posts

Might of Lokfar summoner icon where. ManWolf pls.

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Senior Member


This is too good. /golfclap

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Senior Member


wow, i loved this fanfic, gj, manwolf

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Senior Member


Great story! I enjoyed reading it.

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Phane Sorter



Good job.

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Live Balance Designer

3 of 4 Riot Posts

I want this thread woven into a tapestry.

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Senior Member


That would be a nice addition to the office scarizard xD

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Systems Designer

4 of 4 Riot Posts

Originally Posted by Scarizard View Post
I want this thread woven into a tapestry.
Not canon. I shall gaze into the darkness and reveal a new truth:

Olaf's dark secret is... He cannot swim and has never been on a boat.

Why else would an ability called Undertow slow you down?