Teemo Diaries

First Riot Post
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CaptainMĂ„rvelous

Member

05-06-2013

Still awesome thread. Inspired me.

Thanks again Kachine. I really needed the motivation to do something real and you gave it to me!


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Uke Yordle

Senior Member

05-06-2013

gotta give this one last bump, dam good read also cap i lost your thread link for your story link me pwease? D:


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I FEED TO LOSE

Member

05-08-2013

bumppp


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Good Vi

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Senior Member

05-08-2013

bump


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Kachine

Senior Member

05-12-2013

Quote:
Originally Posted by Cliff Walrus View Post
Dear Kachine, could you explain the significance of the Trist, Tristy, Trissy? I didnt see a connection with that or the varying hut 2.3.4? What about the footsteps "losing their purpose" in the swamp, if Trist was already possessed what's the deal with that? (oh man the monster should have a line or something about letting Trist have control back to revel in destroying her home and killing her friends so that as she came to the realization that she was in control of her body and truly did lose purpose while walking)

*While the ambiguous monster is fine, I feel like their could have been some "it spoke its own words through her mouth" stuff to sprinkle it on more; and if the creature made dead Trist dance like a marionette or get dismembered in front of teemo...man dat mind shattering. The abject terror in his little mousey brain... but the way it is now is bloody dead Trist talks to Teemo then walks away, makes no sense.

* I feel like the way you chose to have teemo writing differently with NO. and the heheheheh, HAHA; leads the reader to infer that Teemo is not only Teemo but is possessed either of a dead Veigar or of the beast. Is this intentional misdirection?

* Day 17 grammar and general editing.
should be "THIS blood, all THIS evil."
Day 20
...NO. or is this a purposeful choice to show that alter ego has bled over into Teemo much the same way the hehehe spurred hahaha and as the story goes on Teemo slips further from reality and meshes with this crazed violent alter ego?



I really liked the story, and I really liked that it wasnt a bel-aire "Teemo mushrooms lololol". Leaving the trail of breadcrumbs and cliff hangers are among my favorite literary techniques. And for many nights sir, ever since reading of the existence of Bandle City, I have dreamed of its destruction and the bodies littering the streets.
Whoops sorry for taking so long to reply. The Trissy, Trist and Tristy represents normal Teemo, crazed/shocked/depressed Teemo, Veigar alter ego respectifully.

And yes, as you can see, during the later posts, I used a lot of italics in between Teemo and that is Veigar leaking through. However, notice that previously, the page was torn away so Teemo didn't know. This time, the entry is still there, but Teemo doesn't even notice it, further implying his deteriorating mental state.

Thanks for the feedback!


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Kachine

Senior Member

05-12-2013

On a side note guys, I think I'm gonna explore the story behind Aatrox a little since very little is known about him at this point. I sort of have some kind of a story in my head. I'm experimenting with the point of view the story should be told. Probably will be mixing it up with first and third person. Maybe even second person. I'll post the link here, probably gonna write at least two entries first =)

Thoughts on the beginning line..

Quote:
Aatrox journal, Jan 13th, 616 BCLE, this world is rotten.
Oh and for this story, I'm taking stylistic ideas from other works that I quite enjoy so bare with me.


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RiotGoodKing

Champion Herald

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05-15-2013
4 of 4 Riot Posts

This was reminiscent of some old ARG and /r/creepypasta stuff I enjoyed reading before not being able to sleep. Bravo.


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HideGoSeek

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Senior Member

05-15-2013

Quote:
Originally Posted by RiotWenceslaus View Post
This was reminiscent of some old ARG and /r/creepypasta stuff I enjoyed reading before not being able to sleep. Bravo.
Any chance Riot will do an ARG? I really enjoy when Valve does them for TF2, and with an audience many times that size, you could do even more sideways and complex ARGs.


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Edzter

Senior Member

05-15-2013

Hi, i am every other champion and i am here to say


Die in a fire teemo


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Edmarguera

Senior Member

05-15-2013

Quote:
Originally Posted by Kachine View Post
SPOILERS ALERT: DO NOT READ IF YOU WANT TO FIGURE THINGS OUT BY YOURSELF MORE

Here goes. SPOILERS. YOU'VE BEEN WARNED.
Let's see...

Veigar's death..Lulu mentioned something about Veigar experimenting, thus, he is most likely killed by whatever thing that he ended up summoning.

Teemo was tramatized by when he saw Veigar's mangled body, as his mental state degrades, another persona comes in as an attempt to remain sane.

The monster (that Veigar summoned) saw Teemo at the scene, thus, the destruction of Teemo's house is his way of toying with Teemo.

I mentioned that Tristana's eyes appeared to be empty, her footsteps lost purpose. When Trist went to Teemo's house to check what's wrong, the monster was there and took control of Trist. This is why Trist said nothing was out of place to Teemo. This is further the monsters simply toying with Teemo. Getting the love of his life to destroy everything he holds dear. With Teemo looking after her, the monster decided to knock Teemo out, then kill Trist as she has served her purpose in taunting Teemo. That is also why it didn't simply pounce on Teemo, but instead, stalks him in the dark and taunts him.

Teemo stopped documenting things as a result of his mental degradation. The shock of seeing EVERYONE you used to know tend to let you ignore the fact that you should be documenting.

The main point of this story is to show the decay of Teemo's mind as events occur and watch as he struggles to remain sane and make sense of things. The story is told from Teemo's point of view, therefore, the information he had will be limited. More focus should be put onto Teemo's psych instead of the story in the background.

Maybe what I wrote was too subtle. But that's the general gist of things. I didn't write the story so that a one time read would suffice so that might explain why it was confusing.
It wasn't subtle... no1 would ever GUESS the monster took control of tristana, it lacked info or events that could tell that happened, attention into teemo's psych? come on besides the "hehe" and the tons of "NO" and veigar's quotes there is nothing interesting in the psych degradation of teemo... and not even 10 times of reading it would suffice to gap all the holes in the story, nice start though it was pretty good at suspense but you couldnt wrap it up, the end was bad, yet good try, you'll improve.