One Who is Whole(An ?OCxRiven? FanFic)

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Theamp4

Senior Member

12-06-2012

Your last two posts are very reassuring that they will be good.

>_> <_<


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Frost Archer

Senior Member

12-06-2012

The advice tossed was: Don't make OC X actual champion.
Remember now?
Eh, watev, you already started.


*Don't worry Kat's stayin with me. Or Sona... Hmm... Ashe? XD


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Theamp4

Senior Member

12-06-2012

Quote:
Originally Posted by FrostArcher024 View Post
The advice tossed was: Don't make OC X actual champion.
Remember now?
Eh, watev, you already started.


*Don't worry Kat's stayin with me. Or Sona... Hmm... Ashe? XD

And I answered this by saying I was not going to change OC part :P

Also, if you want, you can make a character for yourself, and I can TRY and put him/her in :3


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Theamp4

Senior Member

12-07-2012

Bump

I am holding off on the 3rd chapter to gather my thoughts, and to wait on some feedback to chapter 2. I want to know if what I am doing is going good for everyone :c


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Frost Archer

Senior Member

12-07-2012

Yea. I wasn't saying for you to change it, merely bringing up the fact that you did


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kittytoast

Senior Member

12-08-2012

Your fight scene was great! As one who is ****ty at fight scenes, I really really am in awe of it


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Theamp4

Senior Member

12-09-2012

Heh. Thanks Kitty! I really pride myself on fight scenes, though normally I write fight scenes in small parts, with lots of dialogue in between, so this is a relief that you like it ^^


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AerithRayne

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Senior Member

12-09-2012

Sorry for the delay. it is coming. Life is kinda crazy right now. Additional stuff with finals popped up and I have to take care of them. I wanted to drop you a message to let you know you weren't forgotten. This is something I'm looking forward to, so don't worry. Best of luck, and sorry.


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Frost Archer

Senior Member

12-09-2012

Oh lord. Just read chapter 2. Realized that you included the League of Legends. T_T

Kudos to you for your writing skill, I hear many praises to your fight scenes, but I dislike the "Kill and bring back" bit. With Riv and Dar

Yes- I am aware that these are League of Legends Fan Fictions, but I hate it when people make too many references to the game itself, along with gameplay, abilities, etc.

I believe that I said this some where else: It is ok to incorporate some parts of it, but making this story too much like a game kills the story. What is the point of battle and war if people are just brought back like in summoners rift? Each of the lores do indeed have a connection to the league- in the end. This is a way for Riot to incorporate a storyline into their game. Gives people a feel when they play their champions. In my opinion (which you can scrap or take advice from) We make smaller references. We can say the League but not make them actually participate in game matches.

Other references are like the ones in my fic. The three shields around Garen do represent "courage" the ability, but I don't simply say: Garen activated courage. (taken from a fanfic that I personally think is rubbish)

We can use the names of Champion abilities if it fits. Taken from my "The Quest for Doran's Ring" it says:

Quote:
Katarina disappeared and reappeared behind Shen. She brought her blade to Shen's throat.

"I call it flashstep." She crowed into his ear. "You won't catch me with that speed."

Shen's eyes widened in realization.

"It's not called flashstep" He said underneath his breath. "It's called-"

Shen disappeared. Suddenly the other two ninja disappeared as well. Katarina found herself surrounded with blades at her throat and a chain tied around her arms and torso.

"Shunpo."
(BLEACH REFERNCE OMG LOL)
See what I did? Shunpo can be used since it is an actual name that makes sense. However, in TMoDB when she uses "sinister steel", I describe how it is used. Same goes with Garen's Courage, Demacian Justice, -and soon- Decisive strike.

Food for the thought.


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Theamp4

Senior Member

12-09-2012

I tried to make it as realistic as possible, without naming any specific moves, such as her dying even after Darius died with nothing to provoke her. (bleeding effect) I added the "respawn" part because it IS a league match, and dying permanently would be... problematic at best. Plus, I wanted Darius to die anyway, for added effects, which tie in to later in the chapter.

Unless it is part of a LEAGUE match, there will be nothing related to their ability names and respawn.

If you didn't notice, the bright flash of light both times were her ability: Ki Burst. I always thought it just blinded them for the duration in a sense where they couldn't act do to it, though I could be wrong. When she jumps up in the air to finish him, that's Broken Wings 3rd attack. I'm actually thinking about taking out the growing sword, for something later, but I have an idea that I could do either way, so I don't think there is too big a difference...

I hope I didn't make too many references though D:

Thanks for the feedback though, I really appreciate it and will take it into consideration!

Edit: 3rd chapter will be released tomorrow when I write it up :P