Quinn, The Elastic Wasteband (Support Champion)

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Apooche

Junior Member

09-04-2012

A champion like this would also address the issue that as of now there is no champion whose name starts with the letter Q while every other letter is covered.
Edit: there is no champion with the letter Q appearing at any place in their name. Shame on you riot. Shame. What would sesame street say?


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Sinspurch

Senior Member

09-05-2012

Quote:
Originally Posted by Apooche View Post
A champion like this would also address the issue that as of now there is no champion whose name starts with the letter Q while every other letter is covered.
Edit: there is no champion with the letter Q appearing at any place in their name. Shame on you riot. Shame. What would sesame street say?
I was gonna say Le Blanc...when i realized theres a C and not a Q. And i have no clue what Sesame Street would say. xD lol


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Trilmor

Member

09-18-2012

i like the idea of a "mister Fantastic" champion :P but how do u chose between pull or throw on his "Q" Pull n' Throw? Also does the player still control where there champion walks on his "W" Duck and Cover?
he is a bit similar tomy own champ who is a whip champ check him out please? http://na.leagueoflegends.com/board/....php?t=2498437 please leave a comment!


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Sinspurch

Senior Member

09-18-2012

Quote:
Originally Posted by Trilmor View Post
i like the idea of a "mister Fantastic" champion :P but how do u chose between pull or throw on his "Q" Pull n' Throw? Also does the player still control where there champion walks on his "W" Duck and Cover?
he is a bit similar tomy own champ who is a whip champ check him out please? http://na.leagueoflegends.com/board/....php?t=2498437 please leave a comment!
I made this concept before Syndra was released. When she was, i realized her Force of Will has some relation to Quinns W. Its actually his W. The Q is the Stretch: Clap. But with Pull n' Throw, all you do is click the target you chose, theoretically there would be 2 Blue indicator lines going North/South of Quinn, and you chose to either Pull: To you or Throw: Back/Away. The Pull can save an ally or Help finish off an enemy. The Throw can save an ally from being the priority target or get rid of a dangerous enemy from doing any damage.

Duck and Cover causes him to BECOME the shield. Its a Yes and No answer, Quinn can still use SOME of his abilities, he has the option to click the ability again to cancel the duration of the shield. The shielded Ally does have the mobility control. Ill definately look at your champ.
Edit: Id like to add i created this guy July 18th of this year. Just to clear up any confusion about similar abilities.


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Chamenas

Senior Member

09-18-2012

Reviewing this champion now.


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Chamenas

Senior Member

09-18-2012

Ready to boogie? I am! :-D

Quote:
Originally Posted by BlackJubilee View Post
Unlike many citizens in Bandit City, Quinn was born and raised into a society of riches and opportunity.
Is Bandit city already a location in Valoran or is this a new place you're creating? Either way, we know right off the bat that our character is wealthy. Nice little detail, let's see how you use it.

Quote:
Originally Posted by BlackJubilee View Post
Such that as a young student in the art of chemicals, he dream of one day making something of himself, just as Singed and Professor Stanwick had done.
You don't need the "Such that", and "dream" should be "dreamed"

This second part is interesting, because, if Singed and Stanwick are his idols, then we might presume that he is a bit more nefarious of a character with a more sinister method to his chemicals. If this is NOT the assumption that you want made, then it might cause some issues and you might want to rethink this part of the passage.

Quote:
Originally Posted by BlackJubilee View Post
Quinn however, had a different approach to chemicals. He had no interest in the field of poison, destruction, and suffering, he was interested in the body.
Okay. This helps, but I stand by my earlier statement. Simply create a niche in the alchemical world for Quinn to stand in. If he idolizes more sinister champions, then he is going to be seen as sinister. Also, I might see if you can find our come up with a technical term for chemical transforming the body. Maybe call it "Transmaturgy" and then explain what it is, something like

He had no interested in the field of poison, destruction and suffering, his interests lay Transmaturgy: the study of how chemicals could alter one's body configuration.

Quote:
Originally Posted by BlackJubilee View Post
So much that after many failed test on small rats, pigs, and birds, he decided to test a special concoction on himself that he saved for an occasion such as this. After consumption, Quinn started feeling noxious, dizzy, and weak...He passed out.
Okay, useful information. A minor note: I see a lot of people treat lore like they would a typical story, where they describe intimate scenic details. While Lore is a form of story, it's a bit more like a poem where you have to make each line and word count to convey your character, but you can't get wordy with the details as you'll lose the strength of the rest of your words. Thus, you can simply say that he consumed his own chemical and passed out. The sensations around how he felt immediately before passing out are best saved for if you do his judgment and he relives that moment.

Quote:
Originally Posted by BlackJubilee View Post
The next morning, he wakes up,
"woke" instead of "wakes". Keep the tense consistent.

Quote:
Originally Posted by BlackJubilee View Post
curious as to what might of changed him he checks the mirror and sees nothing; nothing but his ordinary self.
More tense issues, "checks" should be "checked" and "sees" should be "saw". However, I have a bigger issue to point out. While it's natural that he might be curious about the changes, even possibly eager, did he expect to pass out? I feel like that was an unintended consequence and thus, without too much intimate detail, we could glean a bit about his character by this fact. Maybe just a brief mention that it hadn't passed into his calculations, but gave him confidence that changes must have happened, then, of course, only to be frustrated to note no changes at all.

Quote:
Originally Posted by BlackJubilee View Post
Furious at his own failure, he flails his arms at the lab table, and his arms extended at a great length causing them to tangle.
More tense issues. You can find them this time. Other than that, this is a key moment and you might want to put a little detail into this because right now it reads a little confused and the flow is a bit awkward.

Quote:
Originally Posted by BlackJubilee View Post
He realized what had happened. His experiment was a success. He began studying his own limitations, stretching his limbs for miles, forming coils, wrapping around buildings and towers. It was at that moment, he realized that he could use this fantastic ability to help those in need, put evil doers in their place, bring justice to Bandit City, and be of greater service to the League of Legends.
This last paragraph feels forced, like it was a rushed ending to a more creative story. You want your ending to be powerful and give an earned reason for your champion to join the League. This doesn't do it right now.

Overall Lore:
I would definitely team up with one of the community story writers and get your Lore out in a slightly more coherent format. You've got a great story to tell here, but I think you could use a little help in telling it. I want to know more about Quinn, right now I only know that he's somewhat generous and loves alchemy (I assume he's brilliant). Give a little depth to his character, it can go a long way.

Quote:
Originally Posted by BlackJubilee View Post
Health: High
Physical Damage: Medium
Magic Damage: Low/None
Difficulty: Medium
Utility: Medium

Damage 50 (+3.5 / per level)
Health 435 (+86 / per level)
Mana 255 (+33 / per level)
Move Speed 315
Armor 16 (+3.8 / per level)
Spell Block 25 (+1.50 / per level)
Health Regen 7 (+0.75 / per level)
Mana Regen 8 (+0.65 / per level)
I don't believe a single champion starts with more than 310 movement speed (and I can only think of 305 champs right now). This is a little high, if you want him to be fast, just make it 310.

Quote:
Originally Posted by BlackJubilee View Post
Quinns Passive is Stretched Out! : Whenever he Quinn uses an ability a 3rd time, the range of his next ability will be significantly increased, deal bonus damage, and slow anyone in range.
Interesting passive. Can't comment balance-wise, but it seems fine to me. I like the flavor and how it fits with Quinn thematically.

Quote:
Originally Posted by BlackJubilee View Post
Stretch: Clap; Quinn briefly stretches his arms out at a cap, once he reaches that cap, his arms collide, dealing physical damage to anyone in his arms, if they are hit by his hands, they are stunned for a few seconds.

***Cost 55/65/75/85/95 Mana Range 850(Passive Increase to 1100) Cooldown 7 Seconds Duration of Stun 1.5 Seconds (Deals 80/140/200/260/320 (+0.30) physical damage)(Passive Bonus Damage (+0.30))***
The range on this is REALLY high, especially for a "melee" champ. As it is though, I don't know if that makes it imbalanced. I do like the flavor of the ability for sure though. I like the little stun effect at the tip.

Quote:
Originally Posted by BlackJubilee View Post
Stretch: Pull n' Throw; Quinn takes hold of an ally or enemy champion, once grabbed he can either pull his ally/enemy to him or throw his ally/enemy away from him. If an ally is pulled or thrown, they gain a burst of movement speed for a few seconds. If he pulls or throws and enemy their movement speed is lowered, if the enemy is thrown at a wall they take damage and are momentarily dazed.

***Cost 60/70/80/90/100 Mana Range 700(Passive Increase to 950) Cooldown 10 Seconds Duration of Movement Speed Increase/Decrease 3.5 Seconds (Gain 50% Movement Speed Increase/Decrease) (Deals 70/120/170/220/270 (+0.2) Physical Damage)(Passive Bonus Damage (+0.20))***
This ability does too much. I like the flavor of it, but it needs to do a little less. My suggestion? Tone back the damage a little and remove the terrain interaction. Otherwise, it's a nice, fun, flavorful ability.

Quote:
Originally Posted by BlackJubilee View Post
Stretch: Duck and Cover; Quinn quickly stretches around an ally champion, gaining armor and magic resistance for a short time to both Quinn and his ally. While Duck and Cover is active, Quinn takes whatever damage is received and can use his abilities(EXCEPT The Ultimate) while he is shielding his ally. He may click the ability again to cancel the effect.

***Cost 60 Mana Range 800(Passive Increase to 950) Cooldown 20 Seconds Duration of Shield Per Level 4/6/8/10/12 Seconds Damage Taken 375 Damage Max (Gain 20/40/60/80/100 Armor & Magic Resist)***
This needs a longer cooldown if it's going to last for 12 seconds at max level. Also, that is a TON of armor and magic resist for an ability that also shields an unlimited amount of damage and has that much range. I like the flavor, but I feel like this might have some balance issues :-/

Quote:
Originally Posted by BlackJubilee View Post
Quinns Ultimate is Stretch: Flattened; Quinn stretches himself to a flat disc, dropping from the sky, dealing damage and stunning anyone who is in his radius. Enemy champions that are hit in his inner radius are stunned longer than those on the outer radius.

***Cost 100/150/250 Mana Range 5500(Passive Increase to 5700) Cooldown 160 Seconds ( A Pantheon Ult with a different Crowd-Control) Duration of Stun 1 second in the outer radius, 1.5/2/2.5 seconds in the inner radius. (Deals 200/300/400 (+0.50) Physical Damage)(Passive Bonus Damage (+0.50))***
I now like both ideas, but it would have to be up to the feedbackers and Rioters(If my concepts is recognized in the future) to decide which sounds and suits him better.
Quote:
ALternate Ultimate: Stretch: Squeeze; Quinn leaps at a moderate range, stretches himself to form a giant rubberband. Enemy champions that are inside the ultimate are Squeezed right into each other and are stunned.
The first ultimate is way too good given the rest of his kit. And, honestly, we don't need yet another nearly global ultimate :-/. However, the second one is sort of fun, if the range isn't too big. I like the flavor of both of them though. Good job.

Overall Abilities:
My comments on balance are iffy at best, as I'm no balance master. However, when something looks obviously broken to me, it usually is. It's when something is more subtly broken or underpowered that I tend to miss it. I feel like this kit is thematic, fun and creative, but probably needs a few tweaks here and there to be "just right".

I hope you liked this review, I'd love a return review. You can pick from my Index of Champions.


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Sinspurch

Senior Member

09-20-2012

Quote:
Originally Posted by Chamenas View Post
Ready to boogie? I am! :-D



Is Bandit city already a location in Valoran or is this a new place you're creating? Either way, we know right off the bat that our character is wealthy. Nice little detail, let's see how you use it.



You don't need the "Such that", and "dream" should be "dreamed"

This second part is interesting, because, if Singed and Stanwick are his idols, then we might presume that he is a bit more nefarious of a character with a more sinister method to his chemicals. If this is NOT the assumption that you want made, then it might cause some issues and you might want to rethink this part of the passage.



Okay. This helps, but I stand by my earlier statement. Simply create a niche in the alchemical world for Quinn to stand in. If he idolizes more sinister champions, then he is going to be seen as sinister. Also, I might see if you can find our come up with a technical term for chemical transforming the body. Maybe call it "Transmaturgy" and then explain what it is, something like

He had no interested in the field of poison, destruction and suffering, his interests lay Transmaturgy: the study of how chemicals could alter one's body configuration.



Okay, useful information. A minor note: I see a lot of people treat lore like they would a typical story, where they describe intimate scenic details. While Lore is a form of story, it's a bit more like a poem where you have to make each line and word count to convey your character, but you can't get wordy with the details as you'll lose the strength of the rest of your words. Thus, you can simply say that he consumed his own chemical and passed out. The sensations around how he felt immediately before passing out are best saved for if you do his judgment and he relives that moment.



"woke" instead of "wakes". Keep the tense consistent.



More tense issues, "checks" should be "checked" and "sees" should be "saw". However, I have a bigger issue to point out. While it's natural that he might be curious about the changes, even possibly eager, did he expect to pass out? I feel like that was an unintended consequence and thus, without too much intimate detail, we could glean a bit about his character by this fact. Maybe just a brief mention that it hadn't passed into his calculations, but gave him confidence that changes must have happened, then, of course, only to be frustrated to note no changes at all.



More tense issues. You can find them this time. Other than that, this is a key moment and you might want to put a little detail into this because right now it reads a little confused and the flow is a bit awkward.



This last paragraph feels forced, like it was a rushed ending to a more creative story. You want your ending to be powerful and give an earned reason for your champion to join the League. This doesn't do it right now.

Overall Lore:
I would definitely team up with one of the community story writers and get your Lore out in a slightly more coherent format. You've got a great story to tell here, but I think you could use a little help in telling it. I want to know more about Quinn, right now I only know that he's somewhat generous and loves alchemy (I assume he's brilliant). Give a little depth to his character, it can go a long way.



I don't believe a single champion starts with more than 310 movement speed (and I can only think of 305 champs right now). This is a little high, if you want him to be fast, just make it 310.



Interesting passive. Can't comment balance-wise, but it seems fine to me. I like the flavor and how it fits with Quinn thematically.



The range on this is REALLY high, especially for a "melee" champ. As it is though, I don't know if that makes it imbalanced. I do like the flavor of the ability for sure though. I like the little stun effect at the tip.



This ability does too much. I like the flavor of it, but it needs to do a little less. My suggestion? Tone back the damage a little and remove the terrain interaction. Otherwise, it's a nice, fun, flavorful ability.



This needs a longer cooldown if it's going to last for 12 seconds at max level. Also, that is a TON of armor and magic resist for an ability that also shields an unlimited amount of damage and has that much range. I like the flavor, but I feel like this might have some balance issues :-/



The first ultimate is way too good given the rest of his kit. And, honestly, we don't need yet another nearly global ultimate :-/. However, the second one is sort of fun, if the range isn't too big. I like the flavor of both of them though. Good job.

Overall Abilities:
My comments on balance are iffy at best, as I'm no balance master. However, when something looks obviously broken to me, it usually is. It's when something is more subtly broken or underpowered that I tend to miss it. I feel like this kit is thematic, fun and creative, but probably needs a few tweaks here and there to be "just right".

I hope you liked this review, I'd love a return review. You can pick from my Index of Champions.
Thanks for the Review. From all of it it seemed like you liked most if it? I'll take what you mentioned and look over it. And i'll definitely look at one of yours.


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Seruph

Senior Member

09-26-2012

I am all for a stretch champion. You could eleborate on the story more if you wanted. but wasn't it Shakespeare that said, "brevity is the soul of wit" short and sweet can be good. if it gets the point across. The only thing about him that I fear is he has 3 cc abilities, could you even lane against such a champ?


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Seruph

Senior Member

09-26-2012

overall good job though.


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Sinspurch

Senior Member

09-26-2012

Quote:
Originally Posted by Seruph View Post
I am all for a stretch champion. You could eleborate on the story more if you wanted. but wasn't it Shakespeare that said, "brevity is the soul of wit" short and sweet can be good. if it gets the point across. The only thing about him that I fear is he has 3 cc abilities, could you even lane against such a champ?
I would totally elaborate on the Lore, i just felt like doing it at that time. I guess it does need to be tweaked a tad. Technically Alistar, and Blitzcrank have 3 CC's; Knockup, stun, knock back and Knockup, Grab, Silence. : l So i would like to think so.