Note to RiotGames Inc. and its employees: I, the creator of this creative material, would be more than happy to allow the use of anything in this individual post for League of Legends. I only ask that I be given free permanent ownership of the related champion and perhaps a small IP/RP stipend as a reward for my labor.
Hello, everyone. I'm here to try and do the unthinkable: expand on the ranks of the Kinkou. I've always loved Energy as a resource type, and wanted to make a ranged AD champion, since Kennen is most commonly played as a burst caster. So, with that in mind, I present to you Zarek, the Kinkou Gadgeteer.
Your not getting any reviews because this is a lot to read. I think would prefer reviewing a nonhuman because that species is annoying and smelly.
Passive: Refund + bonus effect based ability used. This seems fine. The refund is low because the energy based champions regenerate that energy faster than mana so they don't need the small refund.
Ability 1: This seems fine.
Bonus Effect: The bonus range doesn't really matter because the enemy champion will still be behind the annoying minions to reduce damage and getting an enemy low on health usually requires using an ability or other damage output source. this means that you would have to attack 6 more times to benefit from the bonus range that would be used to finish a kill.
I suggest you make his bonus effect reduce the damage dropping and apply the range instead of having just the range.
Ability 2: The stealth is short. Stitch has more than 3 at his lowest level.
Bonus Effect: His stealth is still low and I would do this slightly differently.
Ability 3: This okay. You are spending more energy than you are leaching.
Ult: This powerful but okay.
Overall this champion is fine. There are a few things that bothered me.
Hi Dokueki Kenshin! I really enjoyed reading your champion concept, and I agree that we could use some more energy-based champions. Maybe I'll get to work on that energy-based support!
Lore - Well revenge is used a lot as a theme, but I do like what you did with the story and his connections to Lee Sin. I like the Kinkou and Piltover crossover a lot. I love the story because it would create some interesting storylines when the Lore gets expanded. What would he do if he found out that his rage against Lee Sin wasn't as founded as he thought it was? Coooool stuff. The one weakness here is that it doesn't seem likely that the Kinkou would help him.
Passive - Well, the empowered abilities thing has been played out a bit in my opinion, but it is a good concept that creates essential decisions when playing the character. Unfortunately, I think as an AD carry he would be almost forced to choose only one empowered ability, but more on that later.
Q - Decent ability. It's a lot like Cait's Q, but will be a bit more annoying since you can't OOM. This will make him a tough opponent in the laning phase. I agree with TBE that the bonus effect would probably need to be changed.
W - There's a lot going on with this skill. It is his primary steroid, plus a dash, plus stealth. I like the idea of very short stealth skills, because I think it is a fun mechanic. This skill would probably primarily play out like Twitch's ambush, but it is a bit different. The big issue with this skill is that as an AD carry, I would see him needing to empower this skill every time, since it makes his steroid a lot more useful. Also, if he didn't already have the empowered shot ready for the fight, he would have to wait for a few AA hits to start his steroid.
E - I like the idea of a silence on an AD carry, I don't think we have that. It would be good for laning, and also as a quick "emergency button" when you get pounced on by a bruiser or assassin. However, like I mentioned above, the empowered ability will probably be used for a steroid. Other than that, I actually don't see this ability being used much lategame, since he would probably rather keep the pen for the length of the fight.
R - Love this ability. Would have a cool feel to it. Plays out a little like Irelia's ult, but being on an AD carry I think it would play out a bit differently.
Overall, I think you have a good lore, theme, and mechanical base for this champion. If it were me (meaning this is just MY suggestion), I'd try and focus on the uber-burst vs sustained damage angle with all your abilities. Make the player choose between blowing all his energy and skills at once to destroy one tankier target or to have better sustained damage overall. One example of this would be changing his ult to not stack the armor pen (obviously number changes would have to occur) and forcing the player to blow all the damage at once, at the cost of not getting the full, sustained benefit of the armor pen. But it's your champ! Ultimately it's your vision and you know what direction you're aiming for. I do think the empowered abilities do need to be switched up a bit though.
Also, this is a bit more general advice, but I'd look at a few of the champs that he is most similar to, and do a compare/contrast with each one, seeing what he brings to the table as opposed to those champs (I'm thinking Corki, Ezreal, Caitlin, and Twitch, for different reasons). And "energy" shouldn't be one of those differences Yes, it technically counts, but in reality resource systems are a means to an end, they help provide the qualities you look for and are not a quality in and of themselves, does that make sense?
Anyway, hope that helps and thanks for the awesome concept!
--Skyhawk47, CCF Council member--
Admittedly, I did not start making Zarek until I took a nice long excruciatingly focused read through Katsuni's champion construction guide, and a couple of his aspects where heavily influenced by his advice.
Lore: Oddly enough, I consulted both the official Ionian lore and some more experienced members on the Lore forum about the Kinkou's acceptance policies. The most definitive answer I received was that so long as a person swears to uphold the principles of the Kinkou that they would be accepted into their folds. Their internal structure is very much based on an older honor system. I'm standing by it because others have validated its plausibility, if nothing else.
Passive: I do understand that the additional effect thing can be a bit overplayed, but I wanted to avoid having an Innate that didn't offer some sort of decision making capability on the player's part. I do understand that some of the bonus effects will need work, but I made it based on basic attacks for a VERY specific reason: the difference between AD Burst and AD Carry tactics. A character that focuses on AD Burst will not need to worry too much at all about inflicting CC or different effects on the opponent. All they need to do is get close, barf on the opponent, and get out. An AD Carry, on the other hand, is not free of those concerns, and will need to focus a bit more on what utility they can get out of their kit.
In reality, that is also what Zarek brings to the table that is unique: while most ranged AD characters have the one role they fit into, Zarek is actually free to make the choice. As an example, Ezreal and Corki can't be played very effectively as AD Burst casters. Inversely, Caitlyn is very much suited to be an AD Burst caster (which is why seeing people play her as a carry concerns me), and while Graves CAN work somewhat well as a carry, he's definitely more suited as an AD caster as well. Zarek, unlike any of these choices, can comfortably fit into either role and, if need be, switch roles mid-game without having his gameplay suffer. Also, while I would usually agree that the resource type shouldn't be the only reason that one champion is different from another, changing the resource a character uses alone changes the way that the character is played, particularly with something as finite as energy.
Oh, and on a small note, energy characters typically have two manners of recovering energy for their set. While energy does regen very quickly, resource management without any sort of refund is still problematic, even for energy characters. I didn't even realize this until you mention it, but this aspect itself will also play a part in what role people would choose to play Zarek in since one regen source is based on his innate and basic attacks while the other is based on a very bursty ability.
Q: I understood what you meant here. Instead of only giving him range, I decided to make the Chi Infusion effect something that increases the efficiency of his damage: a 50% decrease in the damage reduction rate per enemy hit.
W: I know that there is quite a bit going on with this, but there is a method to my madness. Utsusemi has two very important functions, and its construction was almost entirely inspired by a point mentioned in Katsuni's champion creation guide. Utsusemi is not just a damage/attack speed steroid; it is also Zarek's sole positioning/escape tool aside from Summoner Flash. Normally, this seems fairly rigged, but using this ability at the wrong time also spells disaster. The whole idea is that before using Utsusemi, players have to make a quick risk analysis and determine whether they can afford to be aggressive and capitalize on the extra damage or if they need to save it to bail if or when things go south. It's partially why I made the stealth duration so short, the other reason being that ranged characters don't need as much time to position themselves as, say, a jungler like Shaco or Evelynn would. Still, I did increase the stealth times on both the base and enhanced effect by half a second to allow a little more wiggle room.
E: I get what you mean, and that's honestly part of the point, actually. For AD Carries, they're more likely to keep this on the back burner to amplify their basic attacks. AD Burst Casters, on the other hand, will probably make more liberal use of this ability. That said, I do see how the CC being entirely based on the Chi Infusion effect might be troublesome. I also agree that in its current form it wouldn't see much late-game use. With that in mind, I did three things:
Hello Dokueki, Poet here representing the CCF Council.
You expressed a desire to make your concept a bit more consice without sacrificing content; I don't think that content is your problem. Everything you have is relevent to the character and gameplay. Rather, it's the way in which you deliver the information that has turned this into such a wall of text.
I can tell that you are a proficient writer; you have a very distinct 'voice' and personal style to your writing in which you interact with the reader. This is great if you are writing a novel, not so much when trying to quickly and clearly convey an idea. My advice is to go through and trim out some of the "dialogue" you have inbetween factoids and simply deliver the facts.
For instance, your introduction combined with your "Theme" section combined are a lofty 400 words, and really they cover the same basic points; who your champ is, what inspired him, and your design goals. Below I have combined the two and removed any uneeded text, cutting your word count in half while still delivering all the information regarding your design process;
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