What would you do if your spouse cheated on you?

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Sailor Cosmos

Senior Member

08-25-2012

What would you do if your spouse cheated on you?

You are married and share at least one biological child. You find out during your marriage your spouse recently had an affair. Your child is young, below the age of 13.

Would you...

Stay in the relationship and maintain a civil relationship to keep your child from being hurt and having to live apart from one parent at a time?

Would you divorce and split everything including custody?

What would you do?

I was watching Fatal Attraction, and the movie had me thinking about what I would do in the same or similar situation. I wouldn't want my child to go through the pain of seeing his/her parents fight and split-up, but I also know I would hate every minute with my hypothetical husband after that moment. I don't know if I could pretend to be civil for very long, and I certainly wouldn't want to sleep in the same bed.


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KonFewShuN

Senior Member

08-25-2012

I don't think anyone here can say for certain what they would do unless they have already experienced it. When something like that happens things will change and your initial reaction wont be the same as if you were to type it out now.


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Sailor Cosmos

Senior Member

08-25-2012

I understand. Tell me what you think you would do.


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Jesus the Friend

Member

08-25-2012

I would never be married and I would never father a child.

However, if I were a complete retard(only a retard male would do those things in modern times), divorce.
100%
I would pay whatever money the court orders and move on with my life.
No anger or resentment.
I would also never want to see the woman or the child again, I would pay the money through an intermediary in such a fashion that I never interact with these people(This can be setup easily).

No one with a functioning brain would stay with someone who has demonstrated such little respect for them.
That lack of respect will resurface, the relationship is shattered forever.
GG


"Infidelity" is only tolerable in an open relationship/open marriage...


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KonFewShuN

Senior Member

08-25-2012

Quote:
Originally Posted by BDSandM View Post
I understand. Tell me what you think you would do.

It depends on the circumstances. I could say right now that i'd probably divorce my wife if that happened. but if it actually did happen, there would be a lot more going on than just me divorcing her, i'd want to work it out, and if i couldn't get passed it. Then the best step may be leaving her.


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Parthenrien

Senior Member

08-25-2012

I'd try to stay in the relationship and do my best to fix the problem(s) that caused my partner to commit infidelity, in the hopes of reconciling with her and keeping our kid away from the bull**** that is shared custody.

Of course, if the kid turned 18, and my hypothetical wife and I were still distant/showed no hope of 'fixing' the problem, I'd end the marriage.


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poe tay toes

Senior Member

08-25-2012

i think i'd leave her. better to have a joint custody arrangement than to have the kid suffer in a house full of resentment and distrust. also better than toughing it out for a few years then letting the kid know that you were unhappy for years for their sake.


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Parthenrien

Senior Member

08-25-2012

Quote:
Originally Posted by poe tay toes View Post
i think i'd leave her. better to have a joint custody arrangement than to have the kid suffer in a house full of resentment and distrust. also better than toughing it out for a few years then letting the kid know that you were unhappy for years for their sake.

This would work, too.


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KonFewShuN

Senior Member

08-25-2012

Quote:
Originally Posted by poe tay toes View Post
i think i'd leave her. better to have a joint custody arrangement than to have the kid suffer in a house full of resentment and distrust. also better than toughing it out for a few years then letting the kid know that you were unhappy for years for their sake.
Regardless, the child isn't stupid, they may not know right from wrong or how to think for themselves. But they notice when things aren't right, i know i and all my brothers noticed when things aren't alright. The child will have resentment regardless of what happens because they feel entitled to a picture perfect family.


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CatchandKiss

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Senior Member

08-25-2012

Well seeing as how I'm a man, and seeing as how divorce courts are well known to be unfairly biased against men there is no way I would ever risk a divorce; lest I lose all custody and visitation rights.

So with that off the table, I'm left instead to carry on while hiding my secret shame beneath the petticoats of a mistress.

Us not loving each other =/= us not loving the children