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Think about it. Just think about it.
You are playing Shyvana. It might be your first time and you're just getting the hang of the jungle, or maybe you are a veteran Shyvana player and you are completely comfortable with your jungle path and you are ready to invade the opponent's jungle shortly. You've just cleared wolves and you start heading to the mighty red lizard. This is when it goes down hill.
You're just minding your own business in the jungle when suddenly, completely out of nowhere, a massive truck on a murder rampage killdozes through the trees behind the lizard, making road kill of red buff and completely turbokilling you. You are completely flattened by the latest addition to the League of Legends champion roster: Truck Badass. Shortly after, Truck Badass continues his killing spree by rampaging off the mid-lane and murderizing Ahri. The poor girl didn't even see it coming.
Eighteen wheels of glory. Eighteen wheels of murder power. Eighteen wheels of complete and utter devastation have now graced the fields of Summoner's Rift. It doesn't matter where you run, Truck Badass will find you. Flashed over a wall? Truck Badass doesn't give a ****. He'll plow though that wall like it was ****ing nothing because he is a ****ing badass truck of megadeath.Truck Badass doesn't even need a team. His team would just get in the way. The last time Truck Badass had a team, they just became road kill like the rest of purple team.
Playing ARAM on Proving Grounds? You were lucky enough to get Truck Badass? You are now turning it into a legitimate Murder Bridge like no other Murder Bridge seen before. It'll be a bloodbath as rubber burns against the cold stone, grinding the skulls of the once feared AP Nidalee into the ground. You can't throw spears at Truck Badass. He's a ****ing truck. It's made of steel. Welcome to the future, Nidalee. **** off with your spears. Science, *****.
Truck Badass only needs one skill: God **** Murder Rampage. Truck Badass doesn't even need to activate God **** Murder Rampage. He starts with that ****. It's his passive.
Remember how I said Truck Badass only has one skill? I lied. Truck Badass has another skill: Make All the *****es Pregnant. With Make All the *****es Pregnant, Truck Badass makes all the *****es pregnant.
What's more badass than Truck Badass? Nothing. Except maybe more of him. He didn't need it, but we said **** it anyway and he has a ****ing ultimate. What more could a champion possibly need, I hear you whimpering. ****ing more, you puny woman. His ultimate turns him into the baddest of asses. He gets -- get this -- bigger. After killdozing enough dudes, Truck Badass goes hard as a mother****er. His size increases by 50%. It's cool. It's ****ing cool. Your eyes will bleed. You will turn carosexual.
The foundries of Piltover had dedicated their entirety to the fabrication of the hardiest alloys yet discovered. It would be their greatest creation to date. Incredible top speeds; lasting power; reliability; and sheer raw power. Zaun could never contest this pinnacle of engineering. Everything else that had ever been created was to pale in comparison to the behemoth which was slowly beginning to take shape. It drew inspiration from some of the league's finest. Malphite and Xin Zhao would have their reputations rightly challenged as unstoppable forces. The unvierse was at the apex of a new epoch.
And it came. Time and Space shuddered as a gate opened from the Void at the site of the machine's construction.
Before even being able to blink, everyone who had poured their heart and soul into this machine saw it wasted in a fraction of a second. They had been wrong all along. How could they have been so foolish as to think they could construct such a thing? The pinnacle? Not by a long shot, they realized, as Truck Badass slammed not simply into, but immediately through the "masterpiece" that amounted to less than a speedbump. And they were certain that, as a result of their pride and vanity, this would not end soon.
"MAYBE WE CAN OUTRUN IT IF WE JUST TRY HARD ENOU-" -Dumb people
Passive - God **** Murder Rampage: Truck Badass ignores collision, plowing through any minions, neutral creeps, champions and walls that get in his way.
Q - Eighteen Wheels of Death: Truck Badass runs over nearest enemy champion, then backs over said champion, then runs over the champion again. Truck Badass will repeat as many times as he deems necessary.
W - Doomcceleration: Truck Badass starts accelerating and gaining speed that continues stacking throughout the current match and onto the next match.
E - Powerslidedoomroll: Truck Badass begins to powerslide and rolling on his side, creating a lane-wide wall of tumbling turbodeath that none can escape.
R - Cruise Control: Truck Badass begins to transform into Optimus Prime. Halfway through transformation, he yells "**** that!" Instead, Truck Badass just doubles in size and immediately begins rampaging toward the nearest enemy champion to plow through the enemy and kill it. When the nearest enemy champion is dead, Truck Badass will simply turn and find the next nearest enemy champion and repeat the process until all enemy champions are dead. When all enemy champions are dead, Truck Badass then rampages toward his allies and murderizes all of them.