UPDATE: Latest chapter just came out! Are you ready for the Double Date with Shyvana, Belthazor, Katarina, and Hectare? I know I wasn't...
You knew it was coming. You know my Riven Luv knows no bounds.
So of course I'd have to attempt and ship myself with her...by having her knock me out.
Now, it's still not up to 100% par, but it's done...chapter one, that is. For the...I'm not going to spoil the chapter, but I'll post one chapter every day for the next week. More like sub-chapters, but chapters, nonetheless. It'll make sense when you get to the end.
Feel free to ask for a cameo! There are certain summoners who I still owe for causing me to run into rock walls!
Chapter One: Jailed
I sat in my cell. I mean, what else did I have to do? I run into a wall, fleeing Piltoverian justice, and then some jerk knocks me out cold. When I wake up, I’m sitting in a dank, dark cell. Only time I get human contact is when they bring me some food; and, like most Piltoverian food (Excluding biscuits…during my childhood, I lived off of those things), it wasn’t so good.
My hair had, in my weeks in jail, faded from the black dye I had used to disguise myself to its natural brownish-red. My clothing was the same as it was when I went into jail, a brown trench coat and some lighter clothing. Although there wasn’t a source of magic in Piltover for me to channel through, and I never saw anyone in the first place, I still kept it clean by purging it daily. It was a simple enough task; the rats suffered for it, but I had to get my energy from somewhere. Besides my gauntlet. But that’s a story for later.
It had been a few weeks—I had lost count by now—when my cell door opened with the jailer sitting there, the keys ringing around his hand. He smiled his crooked smile at me. “Looks like them Summoners at the Ministry felt like givin’ ye a second chance, mate. Take it as you will.” With that, he left me to leave my cell and walk into the streets of Piltover, the sunset over the copper buildings a magnificent view.
It had been so long since I’d seen the light of day…thank god that the Ministry bailed me out when they did. As I stumbled into the light, I rubbed my arm, making sure that my tattoo was still there. Of course it was; it’s a bloody tattoo, they don’t exactly fade in a month. Looking down, it still noted ‘Jaykoboy.’
That’s right, I guess I should introduce myself. Jay D. McIna, at your service. Summoners in the Ministry know me by Jaykoboy, or Jayko, for short. Not like any of them cared; I had little skill, little patience, and little friends. Especially standing next to me; an average man looked at me in awe, while a Yordle treated me as though an ant would a threat. A far larger, completely suicidal threat.
I walked the streets of Piltover, the darkness closing in quickly. As low as the crime rate was, I didn’t want to be caught in the dark. Rushing into a nearby alley, I teleported myself to the institute. My body didn’t fare well; with my limited nutrition, I fainted the second I reappeared.
When I woke up in the morning, I was able to drag myself to the sink to soak myself in freezing water. But little else. Forcing myself to my bed, I took a large potion I kept there constantly and drank half of it. Although it was rejuvenating, it would take a while to kick in. I flopped down on my bed, sighing heavily.
The last time I ever try to impress a girl that way, I thought to myself. Really, was not worth it at all…I didn’t get the girl, I didn’t get the goods…I didn’t get anything but a month in prison. Waste of time.
It took a long time to get back on my feet, changing my clothing into a simple dark cloak and combing my hair. Walking out into the hallway, I hoped that no one had heard of my embarrassing snafu. But, of course, I was wrong.
The second I took a step outside, everyone looked at me, some with mocking laughter in their eyes, the rest with discontent. I immediately hung my head and backed into my room. Turning off the lights, I decided to watch a match in the League. There wasn’t much else to do, not without leaving the room. The crystal set into the wall flickered to life the second I waved my hand towards it…a list of upcoming matches formed in front of me.
The first match that came to my eye was a match with my favorite two champions…Master Yi, an old friend whose bond was very strong with me, and Riven, who, although I had little to no skill with her whatsoever, still responded consistently to my commands with little more than a parting word. Flipping it on, I saw that both of them were being used by Summoners far better than I; Riven drew first blood, while Yi, who took to the jungle without effort, sowed terror among the enemy. It was an intriguing battle, especially when the last team fight took place, their team’s Evelynn attempting to attack Riven from the back. Without missing a beat, she was struck down by Riven’s massive sword, followed by a Pentakill.
I couldn’t help but applaud, even as Riven fell back, whether by her own or her Summoner’s command, to let the rest of her team push through the lane and earn credit for the towers. Ill equipped for quick movement, though, she was not able to participate in the destruction of the enemy’s Nexus. But no matter! She was the star of the game…always an eye-catcher.
I stood up and made my way to the door. I was hungry. It was time for lunch.
Ignoring the stares of the other Summoners, I made my way to the eating area, grabbing a large helping of…whatever low-grade meat it was that they were attempting to pass as ‘beef’ today. While some of the champions, like Ryze, attempted to soften the tough ‘steak’ with bursts of powerful magic, I simply made my way to a dark corner and began to slowly cut through, making my way gradually to the plate. As I cut off the first bite, the champions from the last match piled into the eating area.
Master Yi went to join his compatriots at the Ionia table, while Lux, who had been thoroughly…what’s the term…? Ah, yes, ‘pubstomped’ by her laning adversary, Jax, and his partner, Gragas, dejectedly made her way to the Demacia table in defeat. Nocturne was nowhere to be seen; thank god for that. He had been the fifth on the winning team, and in victory and defeat, he was quite a dangerous character.
Riven was walking silently and calmly past the Demacia table when she tripped and fell. I looked up from my food, trying to see what was going on. Lux leaned across the table and started admonishing her older brother, Garen, who was ignoring her completely, laughing at the shamed Riven. I sighed. It was always the same…why he hated her, I have no idea. But this time, I decided to put a stop to it.
I stood up. Making my way over to them, I offered a hand to Riven, who took it gratefully. Helping her to her feet, I gave Garen a quick glare. “You should be ashamed. She claims no alliance; you should not treat a neutral as an enemy.”
He was about to yell at me, probably the way he always does, but thankfully, Lux reached out and hit him over the head with her baton. She looked at me, a slightly forced smile on her face. “Don’t bother about him. He’s just an airhead.” When he moved again, she jumped slightly at him, causing him to startle and quiet down, turning to his ‘beef.’
I nodded to her. “Thank you, but I will fight my own fights next time.” I then turned to Riven, hoping to say a word of apology.
Before I could, though, Riven shook me off softly, making her way towards a private table. I split off separately, as well, ignoring any further stares given to me by passerby. No one treated Riven kindly; they just didn’t treat her badly, as well. I simply made my way to my spot, continuing to slowly cut apart my meat and eating it bite by bite.
Ten minutes had passed, and I’d only made it about a quarter of the way through my ‘steak.’ Looking up, most of the people, including some of the champions, had given up entirely on the rock-hard steak, with good reason. By the time they’ve eaten a piece, they’re hungry again. All that was left were a few mages, using vast quantities of magic to turn the meat into something edible, and the few people that had nothing else to do, nowhere else to go, or just a big enough knife to cut through it. Riven luckily applied to all three of these, sitting there with half of the steak gone.
I thought I saw her heave slightly, which was understandable; this ‘steak’ was disgusting. But as I looked again, she heaved a couple more times, in a short pattern. She put her head on the table, continuing to heave in the same pattern. She was crying. Poor girl. I felt as though I should do something. But I wasn’t sure what.
Admittedly, I was far too scared. I got up, threw the rest of my meat in the trash, and left. I regretted it, true, but it was all I knew how to do. And it was horrible.
As soon as I got back to my room I flopped on the bed. I stared at the ceiling for a minute, noticing the stucco was the same shape and color as Riven’s hair. Turning onto my side to look away, I found that no matter where I looked, something reminded me of Riven.
Oi, I think I was in love.
I heard a short knock on the door, getting up to find a copy of the Journal of Justice sitting there. Nothing interesting, but I flipped to the advice columns. There was always a champion doing something-or-other there, and usually, the advice was alright. Except for the time Rammus did it. Catastrophe. So many people misinterpreted his famous ‘Ok’ and did the most idiotic stuff…but this time, it was Shyvana’s job. An interesting read, for certain.
I flipped through. It was a very substantial set, but one caught my eye. Someone had apparently written in for advice on how to ask out—listen to this—Caitlyn! Of all the people, I’d never think someone would try and ask out someone as picky as Caitlyn. Sure, there were benefits, but really…it wasn’t a very good idea. Reading onwards, not only was her advice for him very high-quality, but there was a little afterword:
Spicy Jack, the Bard, is now living happily with Caitlyn in Piltover. Their relationship has lead to fantastic career advances for both of them, as well as marriage in the very near future. Really? Working advice for asking out a champion? This could be good for me…sign me up!
I grabbed a piece of paper and began scrawling out a letter to Shyvana. It was short and to the point, so I wasn’t expecting much back. Boy, was I wrong.
The next day, after I had sent out my letter, I got another letter back, on magnificent crimson stationary. Looked like my response. It was pretty heavy, and as I opened it up on my bed, I wasn’t surprised why. The second it popped open, it spread out, large enough to possibly cut a couple of shirts for a Yordle out. It went something like this:
...oh lord, another one of these. You men are so amusing.
Alright, the first thing you need to know about Riven is that she's in a fragile emotional state right now. She'll never admit it, and will probably yell at me the next time she sees me for saying this, but it's what I've seen of her.
I remember one match in particular. She and I were on the same team. A massive teamfight happened, and the result was Riven scoring the Ace, but the rest of us dying. I respawned first. Riven was standing by our middle inhibitor turret, looking at the scattered bodies. She didn't hear me, and as I approached, I heard her say, "So much death...". And she said it in a low, almost quivering voice. Not sure of what to say, I simply asked "So what's the plan?". Startled, she looked at me, shocked at my question. I figured she thought I was asking about her whole life, so I quickly clarified that I was talking about how we should push. There was an awkward moment, then she got to business.
I'm no psychologist, but if you ask me, Riven doesn't know what to believe anymore. She's clinging to the Noxian ideals she loves so much, but she greatly opposes everything her nation-state is currently doing. She needs an... ugh, I hate getting all disgustingly sentimental like this, but she needs someone she can depend on - someone solid, dependable. If you want to win Riven over, you need to be someone she can trust with everything.
But I guess you need to present yourself as a potential partner for her first, right? Dragons do this by destroying the most stuff with a blast of fire, but I don't think Riven would be impressed by that. Well, firstly, don't waste your time showing off how strong you are. Riven is a soldier, and a Champion. She's seen hundreds of strong men, it's nothing new. Actually, she might want a guy who she needs to "work on", so to speak. Some guy she can tutor and mold into her equal. She was a general, or something like that, so I'm sure she prefers to be the stronger one. Don't be weak, of course, but don't show off. She won't be impressed. I know I wouldn't care.
Riven is not the type to open up easily, but you'll need to get her to trust you enough to discuss her past. Lucky for you, I also don't open up easily, so I suppose I can offer some advice on getting her to open up. You can try taking an interest in her life by asking some more neutral questions of her. Perhaps ask about military strategy, or some advanced sword techniques, or different ways to take on different enemies. Ask her what gear she prefers Summoners purchase for her on the Field of Justice - we ALL appreciate that. Regardless of what you ask, listen to her, and listen well. After a few such conversations, she'll hopefully see you as an acquaintance. That's the key, Summoner. I'd want to like you before I'd consider dating you, and I'm sure Riven is no different.
At that point, you're cleared for asking her to wherever it is you humans prefer to take your dates. I don't know what Riven prefers to eat, so I can't help you with that. Just ask her where she'd prefer to go. If she says it's your choice, I can tell you that Riven isn't a fancy woman. Don't bother with any of those candlelit, white wine, uptight places. Middle class is the limit, Summoner. Also, if she's not up for an official 'date', you might want to ask to train with her, if where she trains isn't too private. I train at the barracks in Demacia, so that offer would work on me. I don't know where Riven trains at the moment, but it can't hurt to ask. Maybe she wouldn't mind even if where she trains IS private, I don't know. Training can get quite monotonous, it's always nice to have a partner or two.
Generic human dating advice isn't my strong suit. All I can tell you about dating is to pay close attention to what she says and what she likes. It's not nearly as hard as you men think, especially not with a girl like Riven. Men always complain about us women and our mind games, but Riven is nothing if she's not up front about what she likes.
Now, Riven doesn't open up about her past easily. Even if you two are doing nicely, I doubt it'll be easy. Try telling her a painful story from YOUR past, building trust between the two of you that way. If you don't have a story that significant, perhaps trust her with some insecurity of yours. Just tell her that you want to share something with her that you don't normally share, because you trust her after all this time and need someone to talk to about it. Now, I doubt she'll follow up that conversation by immediately telling you about her past, but a date or two later, you should be able to ask her something without her chewing your head off for it.
Once that first conversation happens, you're golden. At that point, you two are officially a couple. How adorable, Summoner.
I nearly had an aneurism just turning the pages. It was so…interesting. Lifting the letter, I tried to make it as light as possible. When that didn’t work, I resorted to simple magic, making it extremely light. It accidentally turned into air for a moment. I was able to pull it back together, this time turning it into a rock and dropping it on my foot. Cursing loudly enough for every summoner within three rooms of me to hear, I tried to transform it back into paper, managing something substantially lighter. Tucking it into my pocket, I went out for breakfast.
Or brunch. Or something like that. I wasn’t sure how long I had slept.
Anyways, whatever it was, it was supposed to be ‘pork’ this time. Twice as chewy, half as sweet; pork, it was not. Today, there was little commotion, besides the usual Malzahar accusing Kassadin of poisoning his food. I simply blended into my shadowy little corner and let the world be that way. As everyone began to leave, I once more saw Riven start to cry. Time to see if Shyvana was right. I quickly reviewed the letter, making sure I had everything right. I wasn’t going to mess this up. On purpose.
I stood up, my silence not bringing any attention to me. Even the mages had given up today, and it was only me, Riven, and the Janitor, who was trying to wield his mop like a sword, accidentally whacking himself in the face multiple times. Good.
Making my way over to her table, I sat next to her. “Hey. Is everything alright?”
She looked at me with tear-stained eyes, her face slightly red from crying. She turned away for a moment, and I reached out to touch her shoulder. I was met with a punch directly to the face.
The next morning, I woke up with a massive black eye. On the floor of the eating area. One of the disadvantages of not being well-known: when you try to comfort stressed out champions who are probably ten times stronger than you and they punch your lights out, you’re generally not given any choice of where to sit. Luckily, I was first in line for breakfast. It was hashbrowns. And it looked like the same ‘pork’ I’d been served yesterday. I really wish they would come up with something else to feed us…
Naturally, I declined it. Going back to my room, I found some REAL steak and lay it over my eye. After a few minutes, though, I got hungry and may have accidentally eaten it. It was, naturally, far better than what the cafeteria tried to shove down our throats. But that’s besides the point. I was bored, in pain, and had nothing to do.
Asking around the other nearby rooms, I found a small communication crystal and activated it, trying to call up an old friend. Within a minute, I’d found his matching crystal and rung them up. I was met within seconds of calling by the voice of an old buddy.
“Hey, Jay!” he called out. “What’s cookin’?”
I shrugged. “Oh, not much. Have anything to do, Hectare? Or do you want to go grab a drink?”
I could hear him sigh over the comm. “Girl problems? Again?”
Shrugging, even though he couldn’t see me, I responded simply: “Worse. Champion problems.”
There was a moment of silence. “I’ll be over in three-point-five seconds.” And he hung up.
Putting the crystal to the side, I counted down. In exactly three-point-five seconds, there was a loud bang from outside, and Hectare, one of my few friends in the Ministry, crashed into the floor, his body thoroughly charred from the slightly failed teleport spell. Jumping to his feet, he started brushing himself off. Within a minute, he was clean, his sleek, handsome features shining in the artificial light of the corridor. He smiled. “So, Singed’s bar? Or do you still want to remember what we talk about afterwards?”
I sighed. “Remember, please. Last time we went to Singed’s place, you woke up with my girlfriend.”
He laughed. “Oh, yeah…well, this time, you don’t have a girlfriend, so…”
Sighing, he continued to smile. “Fine, we’ll just grab a couple of beers. Mind going to Bilgewater? I’ll tele—”
I cracked my fingers, preparing for my own teleport spell. “No, you won’t. My features don’t snap so well back into place as yours do.”
Before he could object, there was a bright orange flash, and we appeared in the middle of Bilgewater. Hectare puked a few times into the gutter, while I managed to hold down my steak. Helping him to his feet, we hobbled into a nearby tavern, ordering a pair of beers. While he chugged his down without a second though, I barely nursed mine. Starting on his third, he turned to me, still only a quarter of the way down. “You really aren’t right. What’s troubling you?”
I was silent for a moment. “I think I’m in love.”
He laughed. “I thought you said you had champion trouble, not girl trouble!”
There was more silence. His joking complexion quickly turned into a frown. “This IS a normal girl, right? You’re not in love with a champion, are you?”
More silence. “Who is it? Katarina? She’s taken, I know that for sure. Caitlyn? Equally so. Maybe…Shyvana? Lux?” As he questioned me, he began to take a gulp of beer.
He spat out the beer he had been drinking, accidentally ruining any chance of his getting a date with any of the girls within a three-foot radius of us. Turning to me, he gave me a look like I’d gone crazy. “Riven? The Exile? You can’t be serious; I’m going home.”
I shrugged. “Fine. I’m not paying for your tab.”
He had gotten out of his chair, but frozen as soon as I mentioned payment. Sitting back down, he groaned. “Really. Riven. You’ve fallen in love with her?”
I nodded. “Yep.”
Hectare grinned. “Time for a bet, then!”
Bringing my palm to my face, I laughed and groaned slightly. “You’re always betting and always losing. What makes this time any different?”
He continued to smile. “This time, I want you to win. Want to hear the bet?”
I shrugged. “Alright, so here’s the deal: If you get at least one…just one, mind you. It could be a one-night sta—”
“You know I don’t do that sort of stuff.” I groaned about the last time I’d managed that…another friend, Wex, still won’t let me live it down.
He pouted. “Fine. It could be a one-time DEAL. There, that better?”
I nodded, egging him on to continue. “Anyways, it could be a one-time deal, and nothing else. And, if you manage to get one date…”
“Just one. If you manage to get one date, I’ll ask out…hmm…Shyvana.”
I laughed slightly. “Shyvana? So, basically, I’d give you an excuse to do something you already wanted to do?”
He looked at me in shock. “Are you kidding me? Shyvana is as untouchable as Cassiopeia. If I accidentally say something to tick her off, she goes dragon-form on me, and I’m dead. If I do nothing in an attempt to not tick her off, I either tick her off OR I make it so that she never wants to talk to me again.”
I gave him an odd look, which turned into a small smirk as I swallowed half of my beer. “Or you could just do a little research and not say anything to tick her off.”
He puffed. “You know that’s not my style, bro.”
I gave him an odd look, then extended my hand. “You’re on.”
He took it and we shook. “Same to you, my friend.” We then both finished off our beers, calling for another round.
An amusing read. Our perceptions on Riven's personality differ a bit, but it was amusing nonetheless.
On that note, I demand a cameo, preferably as one of Riven's summoners. XD And perhaps as a rival for her affections! Only not, because, you know, this is your story, and I, as "myself" technically already have a role in my own fic, even if I'd never say where I pop up. People hate self-inserts, so if I'm gonna insert myself, I'll be doing it anonymously. *shifty-eyes*
Oh, I can arrange that.
I'm depicting her as an emotionally unstable woman who, although strong and kind, still has a rough spot that you can't touch for fear of losing a couple of teeth.
So, do you have a preferred 'True Name?' For example, my 'True Name' is Jay D. McIna. SpicyJacktheBard's is Spicy Jack, the Bard of Piltover. If you don't have a preferred 'True Name,' I'll just use Ryugi Kazamaru.
You know, to be honest, I never thought about giving myself a "true name."
My forum name is my Summoner name ingame, so, I dunno. Nickname would have to be "Kaz" though. Ingame people who don't know me call me "Kaz" when they want to get my attention. If I come up with something I'll let you know in here.
You've got me thinking about it now. XD
Hectare is actually not based off of anyone. Wex is quite obvious...WexAndywn. Want me to fit you a spot?
Alright, I'll need to know your 'True Name,' your preferred match to a champion, your gender, preferred length of Cameo (Either become real character, appear once, etc) and what your personality would be portrayed as.
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