Who/What/Why/Where/When/How?

Jesse Perring 3,894 26.43%
Jesse Perring 3,430 23.28%
Jesse Perring 3,788 25.71%
Jesse Perring 3,788 25.71%
Jesse Perring, obviously 12,100 82.12%
Multiple Choice Poll. Voters: 14734. You may not vote on this poll

The Saga of Jesse Perring

First Riot Post
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Skribbles

Associate Writer

09-29-2009
1 of 90 Riot Posts

As President, Founder, and most active Member of the Jesse Perring Fan Club, I am hereby granting the many players out there the right, honor, and privilege of commenting in this thread about Jesse Perring's grandeur. My paltry requisite was that your posts must exhibit the beginnings of worthiness of Jesse Perring, which is simply impossible for mortals, but Jesse Perring has agreed to lower his standards, because he is benevolent and just.

But he will smite you if you look at him the wrong way...

The Saga of Jesse Perring

- When Jesse Perring enters a game, the Baron ragequits.
- Items in the shop pay Jesse Perring to be used.
- Jesse Perring's ELO is longer than pi.
- When Jesse Perring gets in range, turrets target themselves.
- When Jesse Perring uses Karthus's ultimate, several people in Asia die.
- When Blitzcrank uses Rocket Grab, he is pulled to Jesse Perring.
- Jesse Perring plays League of Legends with the monitor off.
- Guardian Angel armor is really Cloth Armor that Jesse Perring has touched.
- Jesse Perring uses Ashe's Frost Arrow to hit opponents in next week's game.
- Jesse Perring has gotten a dodecakill in a one-on-one game.

- Jesse Perring has kissed Skribbles on the mouth...with tongue...really...

<.<
>.>


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Demandred

Senior Member

09-29-2009

May I join the Jesse Perring fanclub?


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Vorador

The Council

09-29-2009

Fedor by armbar


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Rev

Adjudicator

09-29-2009

Quote:
Originally Posted by Skribbles View Post
- Jesse Perring's ELO is longer than pi.

...but still rounds down to 3.


Sorry, can't find my fan club membership card. It's probably in my other pants at the cleaners.


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Skribbles

Associate Writer

09-29-2009
2 of 90 Riot Posts

Quote:
Originally Posted by Demandred View Post
May I join the Jesse Perring fanclub?
By being alive, you already have.


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Demandred

Senior Member

09-29-2009

Quote:
Originally Posted by Skribbles View Post
By being alive, you already have.
I'm so honored. I hear he can kill dinosaurs with his pork sword. Is this true?


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Skribbles

Associate Writer

09-29-2009
3 of 90 Riot Posts

Quote:
Originally Posted by Demandred View Post
I'm so honored. I hear he can kill dinosaurs with his pork sword. Is this true?
Actually, he chose Ryze at champion select once and the OP-ness caused a time rift which retroactively caused the extinction of the dinosaurs. Common misconception though. Had he not killed them all years before he was born, he would be constantly slaying them with his pork sword.


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CrafterOfLaughs

Senior Member

09-29-2009

Quote:
Originally Posted by Demandred View Post
I'm so honored. I hear he can kill dinosaurs with his pork sword. Is this true?
No. He didn't kill dinosaurs with a pork sword as Skribbles said. It's a different legend. He was up against a RoboDevil T-Rex 4000 with a marshmallow tanto with both hands and feet tied behind his back.


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Asymptote

Associate Engineer

09-29-2009
4 of 90 Riot Posts

Jesse Perring shall die a horrible death in the fiery pits of hell for kissing Skribbles on the mouth...with tongue


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Sciz

Senior Member

09-29-2009

- When Jesse Perring runs over a mushroom, Teemo dies.