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AstorSapolsky 09-20-2010 11:37 AM

League Judgment - Singed
 
Candidate: Singed
Date: 27 Febuary, 20 CLE

OBSERVATION

Singed walks into the room, but the stench of his poisons arrived five minutes sooner. His long strides echo throughout the building, his footsteps given weight by the giant vat of chemicals harnessed to his back. The chemicals that spill out dissolve all that they touch, but the Chemical Man doesn't even flinch as it comes in contact with his skin.

His mask does nothing more than hide his humanity. It is clear that the toxic vapors cannot be held back by a mere cloth. His eyes dart upward, reading the words but ignoring their meaning. He shifts his bulwark and calmly steps through the door.

REFLECTION
He walked through the doors and into his old lab, the familiar scents instilling a nostalgic feeling in him. Curious, he could smell, but even more troubling was his ability to remember anything. He could think clearly. His mind was unaltered by his chemicals, he could see his past for what it was… and he could remember what was about to happen.

He was working on one of his first commissions for Noxus, an agent to kill any non-human life. Only lethal to humans in high dosage, it would kill anything from a Yordle to a yeti with ease. Warwick was overseeing its creation.

"You need to shed your guilt," mused Warwick, standing impatiently over Singed's cauldron.

Singed looked up questioningly, but he had heard this all before.

"Your poisons kill too quickly. You do not delight in the pain our work inflicts, you need to shed your guilt, your humanity."

Singed looked down into his concoction, his restored face twisting in concern. Suddenly, Warwick's hand flashed, a vial headed for the cauldron, and he was in Ionia.

He stood by a catapult, laughing as his chemicals tore apart the forests. Natural beauty, unspoiled for centuries, decaying at his feet in seconds. He suddenly gained a hold of his mind again, suddenly aware of the screams that echoed across the valley. The smell of burning flesh was overwhelming, even at his position. He could close his eyes, but was unable to stop anything. Each of his senses was overwhelmed by death and decay.

As soon as it had begun, he was back in the lab, holding Warwick's wrist back. He remembered what was going to happen. When the chemical hit his concoction, it would create an explosion, the very same one that turned him into the monster he realized he was. It would harden his skin, harden his mind.

"Your humanity is holding you back. I am freeing you, Singed."

He snapped back to attention. He was not yet known by that name.

"If you stop this now, you will never become the monster you are. You will forget all about the League, all about the deaths you caused. You will go back to being a simple lab technician, sheltered from the results of your work. Why do you want to join the League?"

He had forgot the question since regaining his clarity. He thought of the lives he ended, of the pain he caused… does he even regret the consequences of his profession? Even in his present state of mind, he still reveled in the feeling.

He said, "my chemicals will blanket the forests, poison the oceans, and blacken the sky. I will end all life on Valoran if given the chance. I want to test my weapons firsthand."

He let go of Warwick's wrist as the beaker dropped. The ensuing explosion burned his flesh, the agony causing him to black out. Warwick laughed, and through the darkness he heard Warwick's final words before he became the man known as Singed,

"You were always a monster. I just let you out of your cage."

AstorSapolsky 09-20-2010 11:38 AM

This one I wrote because Singed is my main, and was my first champion. Always loved the guy. If you have any feedback at all, please say so. I want to hear everything that is wrong with the above writing, I want to make it sound as good as possible.

I also wanted to try and break the formula a little more, following what Blackhandsaint said:


Quote:

Originally Posted by Blackhandsaint (Hozzászólás 2978501)
It seems like every judgment consists of:

1. Character walks stylishly into the judgment chamber

2. Character experiences a hallucination of a past event

3a. Said past event is extremely traumatic and horrifies the character

3b. Said past event turns into a hallucination of what might have been and/or a dark reflection

4. A significant person from the character's hallucination starts asking probing questions

5. A judge asks "How does it feel exposing your mind?" And "good" characters smile and say thank you and "evil" characters lose their cool and say something to the effect of "I must kill X!"

While the walking in part is nice, it gives a bit of flavor to the character, I agree most of it is formulaic to a now-boring degree.

Instead of a "blarg blarg Singed this was a scary time for you and your Mom is ded" hallucination, I just had the idea that something turned Singed into the evil creature that he is. Before he still created weapons of death, but he was removed from his work. I returned him not just to a time in his life, but returned his old mind to him.

I also loved the Twisted Metal: Black gambits (great game). This judgment places him in a past point of his life, and gives him the opinion that he can undo his life and stop himself from becoming Singed. I say opinion, because maybe the Institute cannot do such a thing, but he thinks they can (and maybe if he said, "yes I don't want to become this evil being," he would fail the Judgment). This gave him a choice, and it placed a similar but different character in Singed's place.

Also, I feel that you don't have to close on them huddling in a corner peeing themselves over exposing themselves or having a grim determination. We get it, Singed is evil, would say "proved you wrong ****a!" and would strut on out of the Hall. We don't need to be beat over the head with it more than I already did.

Tolfor 09-21-2010 09:51 PM

Well, it seems a little out-of-character in parts in that Singed was never "sheltered from the results of his work" - his bio indicates that he knew exactly what was going on and loved it all along. I may be misinterpreting what you wrote, though. Also a few grammatical errors ("vile" instead of "vial") but nothing major. I like the break from The Mighty Writing Formula, and I like the concept - pre-Singed Singed - a lot. All in all I give it a 4/5. :)

AstorSapolsky 10-04-2010 12:04 PM

I fixed "vial." It was late when I posted this. I'm embarrassed that it was even there.

Pre-Singed Singed is different. I know he has always enjoyed his work, but this is as Singed. He's always been a creator of weapons of mass destruction, but this implies that something else caused the full transformation.

I want to work on it a bit out of boredom (hence me bumping it, since this got nudged away quickly), so any feedback? I'm also going to bump the Teemo one so long as nobody hits me. I want to work on my writing a bit.

Mulgruf 10-05-2010 07:37 AM

!!!! I also main Singed, has been my favorite champion since I got him a couple months back. Waited so long for the Riot Squad skin, had to buy the Hextech when it came out. Basically Singed is my n igga.

As for your lore! It was pretty sick man, I didn't even really know that Singed worked for Noxus. That part you didn't make up right? I liked the affiliation with Warwick, 4.5/5 ! Nice work.

Finnical 10-31-2010 05:41 AM

I'm impressed.
 
This took a great deal of ingenuity and creativity. Excellent work sir. Put a smile on my face. The only complaint I could possibly register would be that the end of it didn't flow well. Just a little work to make the ending more engaging would make this epic.


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