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-   -   G Viper's Side Story Center! (http://forums.na.leagueoflegends.com/board/showthread.php?t=1752605)

Grand Viper 01-26-2012 08:13 AM

G Viper's Side Story Center!
 
UPDATED MY JOURNAL
This is the new URL for the short stories http://www.fanfiction.net/s/7887679/...t_Story_Center

The short stories are organized and easier to navigate through there. I will still be posting the short stories here as well, but to make it less confusing for people I decided to join fanfiction. The same goes for the Riven story, so if you want my ego to grow 10 times bigger (and possibly rule the world) drop by and give it a visit. Be sure to leave reviews, comments, and don't forget to criticize me! Seriously, if I make stupid grammar/spelling errors tell me, please. Thank you all for reading my stories, I have plenty more to write!
__________________________________________________ ______________________
So while I'm writing the Riven story, I figured I'd try throwing out a few short stories I have in the works or already written. I will be keeping all side stories in this thread that I do write. As to which story will be done first, I figured I should do a poll to see if people have an inherent care as to which they want to read first. Some of the side stories will be somewhat related to the Riven story, others will not.

The Riven story will be the more focused upon story, these are just for fun and to see if I should write any others. I'm not even sure if I should do a poll for it =p

So without further ado, (hopefully I got this poll thing right) let's see!

QUICK UPDATE TO MY JOURNAL

This poll is going to stay up indefinitely, but I'm going to go with the most requested one by this Sunday first, then go down the list from there.

UPDATED MY JOURNAL

After I write approximately 3 of the stories, I'll delete the original posts, reorganize them and hyperlink them from this first post to help with the reading. It's still early and supple, so I can let disorganization go =p

UPDATED MY JOURNAL

The only stories remaining are thus:

Pentakill (Part 1 out of 3 done)

Mordekaiser's Choice

...and Karthus' lament who no one cares about.(EDIT: Someone cares! Someone really cares! ****! That means I have to figure out a story! Or poem! I am a terrible poet, so hopefully story!

Cerubois 01-26-2012 09:54 AM

Udyr all the way. Especially the way you've written him. :P

Katárina 01-26-2012 01:33 PM

Udyr wants to kill Irelia.. I think we should see this fight! Also... ZELOS! KGO!

Grand Viper 01-27-2012 08:57 PM

Since the Udyr stories seem so popular I'll do a little spoiler for each

Udyr versus Irelia takes place around the Ionia vs Noxus rematch. The fight is titanic, though why do they fight? That's what I'll keep hush hush

Udyr versus Lee Sin is about the rise of his greatest rival in combat and their first fight. This story is going to be heavily influenced by my love of Fist of the North Star (Hokuto no Ken)

Udyr versus the Wiles of Women is going to be a series of short interviews in which Udyr is interviewed by a Summoner and Blitzcrank about the women of the League and his opinion on them. This will be constantly updated by new female inductions into the League.

Jaykoboy 01-27-2012 09:19 PM

L-L-L-LEGENDARY!

Sorry, I think you just broke the Legendary barrier, man. :D

-Jaykoboy-

Felza 01-27-2012 10:03 PM

You mean he is Go-o-odlike?!

you know what, Grand Vip? write one for each :)

Grand Viper 01-27-2012 10:42 PM

@Jaykoboy Now if only I could do that more often in a game eh? Heh, I'm looking forward to writing these. They're going to be really fun

@Felza I do plan on writing each of these stories, eventually. The poll is pretty much dictating which one I should write first, so the more popular one will be written first while the least will be written last. Ties will be determined by a coin flip essentially (Or random number generator)

UPDATED MY JOURNAL

It really seems apparent that Udyr versus the Wiles of Women is gonna win by Sunday. Time to do some planning!

I'm also surprised at how little love Karthus is gettin'. Alas, poor Karthus. I knew you well.

UPDATED MY JOURNAL

I'll try posting the first section of Udyr vs the Wiles of Women before I go to sleep tonight

Jaykoboy 01-28-2012 11:16 AM

I got downvoted for complementing you? Harsh. But no matter. I'm looking forwards to the stories, man!

Grand Viper 01-29-2012 05:00 PM

So here's the first part of Udyr versus the Wiles of Women! I'm planning to write more, don't worry, it's not going to be a much longer story. It's just I'm having fun writing this, hope y'all enjoy it! It's not a multi part story and I'm going to delete the last three lines when I do continue it. I need to figure out another question or two before finishing it off =p

Udyr versus the Wiles of Women

*U=Udyr, H=Horatio, B=Blitzcrank

“I’m surprised you agreed to this so easily.” A robed man waved his hands in front of a crystal ball. A grunt was the response he got as he finished his incantation. The man continued, “Blitzcrank is going to transcribe this interview, just tell me when you’re ready Udyr.”

The being regarded as Udyr shuffled his mighty shoulders, “Enough theatrics. Ask your questions.”

The man tapped his crystal ball, “This is ‘Interviewing The Champs!’ Hello and we’re live! I’m Summoner Horatio and with us today is a VERY special guest! Everyone, we have Udyr the Animal spirit with us! One of the most reclusive champions, tell us Udyr. Why are you here today?”

Udyr grunted, shifting his posture into a more hunched and intimidating pose, “We were told there were some…misconceptions of us.”

Horatio looked behind him, a golden golem nosily scribbled down each and everything. “I believe it started with our very own Blitzcrank’s ‘Dating Services’ that these allegations came to pass.”

Udyr grunted, “No, it was simply his services that brought it into obvious light.”

Horatio cocked his eye at him, “Um…his?”

Udyr pointed at the golem, “Blitzcrank. Who else would you think we meant?”

“Ah…well…Blitzcrank is a golem. A machine, we’re not even sure if it can even feel emotion.” Horatio was lifted off his feet by Udyr.

A scathingly hot aura tickled Horatio’s skin, “When we see anyone, anything be more honorable, more honest, more just than most mortals we have seen in our life time, they deserve to be called a man.”

The golem responded in a monotonous voice, “THANK-YOU-UDYR.”

Horatio swallowed nervously, “W-w-which brings us to our topic today! Udyr, the Animal Spirit: A misogynistic woman hating pig or is he simply misunderstood?”

Udyr set him back on his feet and sat in an overstuffed comfy chair. He sank into the chair, growling at how deep he fell in. Within moments the chair was reduced to splinters. Horatio looked at the sidelines, “Can…can someone bring Udyr a chair?”

Udyr shook his head, “No. We will stand.”

Horatio sighed, “Alright then. Let’s begin.”

Interview

U: Who called us such titles?

H: Ah, I think that was either Katarina or Miss Fortune. I’d have to check.

U: We suppose it matters not. They are both spiteful weaklings

H: …Uh…You do realize this is live, right?”

U: So?

H: Being broadcasted all over Valoran?

U: …

H: Well…Let’s start with how this all began! As most of you know, Blitzcrank ran a beta dating service to rate the compatibility between people and your favourite champions! The only being that had an absolute zero percent is with us today. Isn’t that right, Blitzcrank?

B: THE-SECOND-LOWEST-WAS-NOCTURNE-WITH-A-0.5%-CHANCE-WITH-CHO-GATH---I-HAD-TO-SCRUB-MY-MEMORY-OF-THAT-IMAGE-FOR-HOURS---IT-STILL-HAUNTS-ME-IN-MY-SLEEP

H: *Laughing* Yes yes, we don’t want to envision that. So with that in mind, Udyr, how is it you had no compatibility with any of these women?

U: We do not care to. We still do not care.

H: Then why are you here?”

U: We have our reasons.

H: Which are?

U: Doesn’t matter.

H: So today we have a very special and fun list of questions. Each one has been submitted by one of the female champions of the League to see why Udyr is a complete and utter zero in their lovely eyes! Are you ready Udyr?!

U: …

H: Nnnnot even the slightest bit excited?

U: The fact that we have to answer these inane questions at all perplexes us. Begin.

H: Let’s start simple first, Blitzcrank has compiled the questions into different piles, from simplest to…um…what…what is this pile?

B: THAT-IS-THE-CENSORED-PILE---60%-OF-THEM-COME-FROM-SARAH-FORTUNE

U: She seems to still be spiteful from that match

H: What match…Ah. I remember. The Ionia versus Noxus rematch, right?

U: Yes.

H: What was it that made her so upset?

U: We told her the truth. She is a weak useless human being who is better off staying at home than being on the battlefield.

H: …And you wonder why you got such a reputation.

U: No. We don’t. Stop your incessant chattering and begin.

Question 1

H: Oh right, alright. This is from…Irelia? The Irelia?

U: She is a comrade of ours. What does she ask?

H: Apparently her question is, “Udyr, what is your opinion on women?” That seems kind of silly.

U: Men are men, women are women. They are different beings. What a man can do a woman cannot, what a woman can do a man cannot. It is that simple.

H: Then what about all our lovely ladies in the League? Are you saying they shouldn’t be here?”

U: No. We are saying many of them shouldn’t. They don’t deserve to be here.

H: Udyr, we have security at the doors and apparently even now several women of the League are trying to break in. Maybe you should clarify what you mean. Quickly.

U: They are upset because they are stupid and are letting emotions cloud their judgement.

H: Uh, Udyr, maybe you should be less harsh. I can hear a storm gathering, a literal one. Please clarify yourself before we all die horribly.

B: UDYR-EVEN-I-CANNOT-UNDERSTAND-WHAT-YOU-MEAN-

U: We forgive Blitzcrank for not understanding, but you are incredibly stupid. Men. Are. Men. Women. Are. Women. In the world there are these two genders. What makes a man, a man?

H: Uh…certain…body parts

U: Muscles do not count. What makes a man exactly that? It is the strength of their character. How far a man is willing to go, how strong they are willing to become. A true man seeks to better themselves in every imaginable way possible.

H: …Okay?

U: Now then. With that in mind. What makes, a woman, a woman?

H: Uh…staying home and making men sandwiches?

*Udyr is off his feet and attempting to strangle a clearly confused Horatio*

H: B-but you you implied that!

U: Learn to understand the meaning of words you fool!

H: *Cough* Fine! Fine! Let me go!

*Udyr releases Horatio, goes back to standing on his side of the room*

U: Why is a woman, a woman?

H: Idon’tknowdon’thitmeagain!

U: People misconceive the idea that women are inferior because of prefix of wo. With that in mind, what makes a woman, a woman?

H: …Certain…organs?

U: Yes. That is correct. With that in mind, why should a man protect a woman?

H: Uh… if I’m understanding you correctly…a man should protect a woman because they can give birth?

U: Exactly. Now why should a woman protect a man?

H: I’m…I’m not following.

B: BY-UDYR’S-TRAIN-OF-THOUGHT-A-WOMAN-IS-A-MAN-WITH-DIFFERENT-FEATURES

U: Thank you Blitzcrank. Man and woman cannot be separate. They are both men.

H: Nnnno they’re not

U: Then why do both of your terminologies have the same letters in their words? Male, female. Man, woman. They are the same creature.

H: Fine, let’s say that. You are famous for insulting the strength of several of the women in the League.

U: Because men are inherently much stronger than women. That is genetic.

H: This is the League; there are plenty of strong women here!

U: There are plenty of men and women with fancy toys here. They are worthless, they deserve a slow and painful death or to step aside and let others show them what being a man means.

H: Wait…did…did you just emasculate some of the men?

U: Women like that worthless sheriff woman needs a device to help her catch her prey. That pirate Gangplank is another example of that worthlessness, he needs his petty gun and the aid of his crew to help him win fights. That is not being a man that is being scum.

H: What about the genetic thing you were just talking about? If you think that’s true, what makes using a weapon or not any different?

U: It does and does not. If you take away everything a man has, what can they fight with? If the sheriff does not have her rifle, will she be able to best us? Would she be able to best you? What of her quarry? Would the pirate be able to take us down despite not having his overly dependent revolver?

H: But your previous point…Are you ignoring that?

U: We hold nothing but the upmost respect for those able to overcome their history, personal or genetic. Akali is a fine example; she can slice stone with her bare hands. Show us how many men can do such a feat. The frost archer Ashe is able to survive sub-arctic temperatures that would make even us cringe. That is strength. We respect that.

Question 2

H: Okay, I can see why that was the first question. Let’s randomize this, and take it from a different pile… What’s this pile Blitzcrank?

B: THAT-IS-THE-INCREDIBLY-RUDE-BUT-STILL-MAKES-A-VALID-QUESTION-PILE

H: Hokay, let’s grab one from this pile. It’s from Janna? The Janna? What could she…oh…oh my goodness… How did she imagine a boot would fit there?

U: Ah yes. We know the question already, but ask away.

H: Um, with some…careful rewording, “Udyr, what is the real reason you turned me away?”

U: She asked me if we wished to have a drink with her.

H: …Janna. Janna did?

U: Yes. She did. She offered to buy us drinks, and we were content with the deal. Then she asked if we would unleash the beast upon her.

H: …And?!

U: We refused. The release of a primal beast in any space is dangerous, that was a stupid request. We rarely unleash our full power unless we wish to slay a truly worthy opponent. So we declined and said she would not be able to handle our fury unleashed. She became angered for some reason.

H: …O…kay? Did she say why she was interested in having a drink with you?

U: Now that’s a strange thing. She said she wished to talk about Ionian political matters, but when we shared drinks she did not ask a single question. Not that we could answer, we barely know what happens in the political sphere.

H: …I hate you so much.

U: Excuse you?

B: I-HAVE-TO-AGREE-YOU-WERE-A-BIT-DENSE-

U: How so?

Question 3

H: Let’s…let’s just move on. Please. Next question, let’s take it from… the nice pile? Is that what this is?

B: -YES-

H: Hokay, this is from Lady Luxana. “Dear Udyr, you jack ass, how dare you- woah what?! Blitzcrank! That’s not nice at all!”

B: -YOU-SHIFTED-YOUR-HAND-OVER-AND-DREW-FROM-THE-INSULT-PILE-

H: What could you have possibly said to a sweet girl like her to insult you?!

U: We told her she was too small to be in the fields of justice.

H: Told her what was too small?

U: *Motions at his torso* This area.

H: …You told a woman her chest was too small?

U: Yes.

H: That…that is disturbing. She’s one of the youngest members of the League.

U: Hence why she needs to build her muscles more. Or else she will not survive. We enjoy fighting the Demacians; her brother has never disappointed us in a fight. We wish the same kind of resolve from her.

H: Udyr, you said her chest was small.

U: And her shoulders. And her arms. Her legs would have to be built alongside them or else they wouldn’t be able to support a top heavy body but we thought that was implied.

H: ...What? That's not why she's...Oh never mind. We'll be back with more questions after a short break. So fans, be sure to stick around! Blitzcrank, tell me there's some cold Graggy Ice for the love of every heavenly body.

B: -YOU-ARE-STILL-LIVE-

H: Aaaaaaand not anymore I'm not.

Cerubois 01-29-2012 05:46 PM

High five! I'm pretty jealous that you can write so much so fast. It takes me much longer. ^^;


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