How the Yi Dunked Christmas
From the Grounds to the Rift, and in the Crystal Scar,
Everyone knows of Snowdown, from near or from far
And while champions all over shout "SNOWDOWN!" with glee,
There is one who does not; that is, one Master Yi.
While champs handshake and hug and spread Snowdown cheer,
For Yi, they all know, it's the worst time of year;
The Dunking of Nooblords is all this master knows,
but Dunking's prohibited... as soon as it snows.
"This is awful!," he shouts, "absolutely horrendous!"
"There's four in a group, the temptation's stupendous!"
Warwick looked at him, frowning, wishing he could help,
but he knew what would satisfy: killing those whelps.
"Who thought of these rules? No killing in winter?
My limbs will get stiff; my sword will surely splinter!
There has to be some way to bypass these laws...
Come, Warwick, with me, and dust off those claws.
I've got an idea, it's simple, concise...
If these fools think they'll stop me, they'll soon pay the price!"
He stood up and walked with Warwick to the door,
as he walked through, he said "Come now... my blade is yours."
Yi and Warwick walked out to see who all were playing;
it seemed Kat, Veigar Ziggs and ol' Fiddles were sleighing!
"Those are nice festive skins; at least, on the exterior...
Let's see how they're armored--"
"...Your skills are inferior."
They dropped to the ground, and a quadra was had,
Master Yi started grinning, though he now looked quite mad...
"Warwick, my friend, your bloodthirster's empty,
come and fill it with me, there's Nooblords aplenty!"
Warwick grinned at the thought and they went on a spree,
dunking Nooblords and filling bloodthirsters with glee!
As they killed all the champions there in the snow,
one emerged from the carnage... one who had not been owned.
It was Santa himself, and his face was quite red,
not with jollies or eggnog... but with rage and dread.
"KILLING IN SNOWDOWN IS NEVER ALLOWED,
IT IS NOT AND WILL NOT BE, NO WAY, NO HOW."
His angry voice boomed as he stomped on the ground,
assumed battle position, and called out quite loud:
"IN THE NAME OF SNOWDOWN, TO END ALL THIS GORE
I SUMMON MY COMRADE: BARON NASHOR!"
The ground shook and cracked and the Baron rose up
and though they were quite powerful, they just weren't enough.
They knew from the start Baron Nashor would beat them
And if they were lucky, he'd painlessly eat them.
Fighting Baron? Warwick almost fainted; the notion!
But yi, calmly, said... "Would you pass me that potion?"
Warwick did, and Yi downed it, then started to glow...
An elixir of brilliance! How did Master Yi know?
His Alpha Strike supercharged, Yi Q'd on the beast...
He returned next to Warwick, not harmed in the least!
Baron and Santa grinned, unscathed and quite smug...
...'til Baron's head fell on the ground with a thud.
Santa yelled, "IT'S NOT POSSIBLE, HOW COULD IT BE?
I'VE NEVER EVEN HEARD OF YI BUILDING AP!"
Master yi approached him, gloating as his superior,
And as Santa's death came... "Your skills are inferior."
The champs all respawned, but Santa's corpse remained,
And Yi said these words, remembered to this day:
"Snowdown is snowdown, that will never change.
But if you stop the fighting, you'll soon feel my rage.
I'll dunk nooblords all year round, whenever I please!
I'M THE NEW LORD OF SNOWDOWN! NOW FALL TO YOUR KNEES."
And they did, one by one, as they basked in his glory.
He dipped his blade in the snow; at this point, it was gory.
"Now go, to the grounds, to the rift, to the scar!
But watch your backs, my friends... For my blade won't be far."
He nodded at Warwick, still standing in awe,
and tossed Santa's head into his gaping maw.
Then he ulted away, snow kicked up in a haze,
and kept dunking nooblords for the rest of his days.
This is the greatest thing ever.
This story explains the TRUE meaning of Christmas.
A true work of art indeed.
Fantastic. I want to memorize this and recite every Christmas.
Bless this post.
10/10. Would read again. I approve in all of the ways. Fantastic
very creative and it looks like you put a lot of time into it. that's a 10/10 in my book, great work
|All times are GMT -8. The time now is 10:17 AM.|
(c) 2008 Riot Games Inc