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-   -   Vestic, The Forgotten Prince (http://forums.na.leagueoflegends.com/board/showthread.php?t=2892936)

DarthDevor 12-11-2012 04:59 PM

Vestic, The Forgotten Prince
 
This idea is going to be from a group of champions I am planning on creating, from an empire, near Valoran, which invades.

Name:Vestic Derac
Title:The Forgotten Prince
Attributes:Melee, Mage, Pusher, AD
Origin: North of Valoran, the Empire of Krestec
Weapons: Sabre, Magic
Appearance: Light Iron Armor, Scars, Light Skin, Brown Eyes and hair, Armor on shoulders has many symbols on it, a white cloth under armor(Looks somewhat like the governor of Damascus from Final Fantasy XII)

Lore: The Emperor of the Krestec Empire had son, who he named Vestic, which was a name that meant "The Warrior of Honor", which he holds quite well. At a young age, he was taught well, and began being taught they art of fencing, and magic. When he was a teenager, he fought in many tournaments, until when he was twenty he was challenged to a fight to the death, to prove his skill, and both would be allowed to use magic, and a sword. Vestic had been challenged by a man name Timothy Deathwalker, a well known necromancer. During the duel tot he death, Timothy summoned, skeletal soldiers to fight, which Vestic angrily killed, with a blade, made out of an odd red and green magic blade that he had been able to create and make leave his hands quickly. Vestic won the duel, and named a General of the Krestec Empire.



The Empire was growing restless in a search for a new land t invade. It's highly militaristic society, and government left little room for time of peace. That is when they discovered Valoran, notably the city-state of Demacia. Vestic was made the leader of the invasion, and he armored himself, in the ceremonial armor, and was bestowed with the sabre called "Vencian, the Wrath of the Empire", which he took with great honor. The Invasion initially went well, but when they reached the main city, they mustered all of their forces, but were attacked. Notably Garen was said to have led the attack, but is not for certain. The battle lasted six hours, and only the only said survivor, the defeated prince was left. He remained, said to be dead in Valoran, and was a forgotten prince in his home. He lived in Ionia, and eventually joined the League, to attempt to regain his honor, and no one would know his origin....
"This was too easy, surely their must be more." Vestic, soon after the first, and last victory in Valoran.


Base Stats
Health: 525(Plus 85 per Level)
AD: 45(Plus 5 Per level)
AP: 0
Armor: 30(Plus 6 per Level)
MR: 30
MS: 32
Resource: None
Range: 375


Abilities-

Passive/Innate- Honor of Vestic
Every Fourth Auto Attack has a 25% Chance of Critical Strike added.

Q-Fluttering Blade
Vestic Strikes an enemy five times, dealing damage, if Q is used again during the attack, Vestic will use his magic blade and strike the enemy dealing damage, and silencing them for a short time.

Damage: 100/125/150/175/200(Plus .15 per Bonus AD)
Damage Done by Magic blade: 100/110/120/130/140
Silence Time(Seconds): .5/1/1.2/1.4/1.6
CD-15/14/13/12/11
Range: 375

W-Surprise Strike
Vestic attacks an enemy, lunging at them, and staying at their position, dealing damage.
Damage: 125/155/185/215/245(Plus .05 per Bonus AD)
Range: 500
CD- 20/19/18/17/16

E-Cry of Honor
Vestic Yells out increasing the moral of nearby troops, increasing their and his own heath regain, and Attack Speed for a short Time.
Effects on Vestic-
Increased heath Regain: 10%/ 12%/14%/16%/18%
Attack Speed Increase: 12%/16%/20%/24%/28%
Vestic does half effect to nearby allies.

R-Krestecian War Magic
Vestic uses his Magic Blade to lunge at an enemy suppressing them and dealing damage for two and a half seconds. During this time Vestic is not effected by skills.
Total Damage: 100/200/300(Plus .5 Per AD)

Passive:
Vestic always has his Magic Blade out adding an extra 10 AD and allowing him to have an added 7% Critical Strike Chance.

DarthDevor 12-12-2012 05:10 AM

Bump

DarthDevor 12-13-2012 04:49 AM

Bump

DarthDevor 12-14-2012 12:58 PM

Bump

DarthDevor 12-17-2012 02:06 PM

bump

DarthDevor 12-18-2012 02:24 PM

Anyone want to review?

DarthDevor 12-19-2012 05:03 AM

Bump for the sake of getting a review.

DarthDevor 12-20-2012 05:03 AM

"Reveiw, and I shall spare you."-Vestic, The Forgotten Prince

Ambir 12-20-2012 06:18 AM

First time revewing a champion. Maybe you can return me the favor and review my champion :P

http://na.leagueoflegends.com/board/....php?t=2924056

So well. Lets start with your abilities:

Passive ->
Quote:

Passive/Innate- Honor of Vestic
Every Fourth Auto Attack has a 25% Chance of Critical Strike added.
Quote:

Passive:
Vestic always has his Magic Blade out adding an extra 10 AD and allowing him to have an added 7% Critical Strike Chance.
You have 2 passive O.o I think you have to choose between, tough i like better the thing with 4th auto attack. Can't say if it is balanced, but it does looks cool. Maybe you can do something like 25% bonus crit chance each 4th attack and a bonus magic damage that scales on lvl?

---------------------------

Quote:

Q-Fluttering Blade
Vestic Strikes an enemy five times, dealing damage, if Q is used again during the attack, Vestic will use his magic blade and strike the enemy dealing damage, and silencing them for a short time.
Cd seem really too high for this skill i'd say reduce it to 9 seconds, or 12 seconds and reduce it throughout the game. Also, I don't understand how does it works. Do you do 5 attacks that do 100 damage each? In this case, damage is too high. Do you attack 5 times to do 100 total damage? In this case, there are too much attacks.

What about something like - Vestic strikes his target 3 times rapidly, dealing damage on each strike and silencing on the third. - Each strike would do 1/3 of the total damage of the ability that would be like 100/125/150/175/200(Plus .15 per Bonus AD) plus 3 times magic blade passive bonus magic damage.

--------------------------------

Quote:

W-Surprise Strike
Vestic attacks an enemy, lunging at them, and staying at their position, dealing damage.
Staying at their position? Didnt quite pickup that one... What do you mean by that? Also .05 ad scaling for that attack? Should increase that a little... Or give it something like a stun, crit chance or i don't know what else. Also 20 second cooldown is pretty huge. Should lower it to 12-15 seconds.

-------------------------------

Quote:

E-Cry of Honor
Vestic Yells out increasing the moral of nearby troops, increasing their and his own heath regain, and Attack Speed for a short Time.
Effects on Vestic-
RAS. I like this ability :P Still, you didnt write cooldown, and it is vital since you dont have any ressource.

--------------------------------

Quote:

R-Krestecian War Magic
Vestic uses his Magic Blade to lunge at an enemy suppressing them and dealing damage for two and a half seconds. During this time Vestic is not effected by skills.
Total Damage: 100/200/300(Plus .5 Per AD)
Supress for 2.5 second? And imune to skills? Euh... That is really really really really powerfull... It's like fiora ultimate that supress a teamate... Then again, Vestic don'T do much either during all that time, but I really do think this is not balanced. Could be ok if vestic can still be auto attacked and damaged but is immune to croud-control, and if this is a chanelled ultimate. Otherwise, just no.

--------------------

Now let's look at base stats.

I'm not a specialist, so all I can say is that your guy looks more like a bruiser/tank. You need to specify his abilities and tell what they do. If you give him a good bunch of cc, i'd say your stats are good. If you only make his abilities do damage with poor ad scaling, he won't be of much use in a fight.

So there you go. I dont know if this can help. I tried to be as constructive as I could. This is a nice champion, but as it stands, he is not fit for the league of legends. Nice skills, nice ideas, but needs to be more precise. You need to clarify your abilities so that noobs like me can understand them by reading them (at least a little...) The lore is okay, but you need to write it better (lots of mistakes and things that I don't understand too well.) Good work overall, but you still have some work ahead of you to make this viable.

Hope this helps out, Ambir

DarthDevor 12-22-2012 06:50 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ambir (Hozzászólás 32651509)
First time revewing a champion. Maybe you can return me the favor and review my champion :P

http://na.leagueoflegends.com/board/....php?t=2924056

So well. Lets start with your abilities:

Passive ->



You have 2 passive O.o I think you have to choose between, tough i like better the thing with 4th auto attack. Can't say if it is balanced, but it does looks cool. Maybe you can do something like 25% bonus crit chance each 4th attack and a bonus magic damage that scales on lvl?

---------------------------



Cd seem really too high for this skill i'd say reduce it to 9 seconds, or 12 seconds and reduce it throughout the game. Also, I don't understand how does it works. Do you do 5 attacks that do 100 damage each? In this case, damage is too high. Do you attack 5 times to do 100 total damage? In this case, there are too much attacks.

What about something like - Vestic strikes his target 3 times rapidly, dealing damage on each strike and silencing on the third. - Each strike would do 1/3 of the total damage of the ability that would be like 100/125/150/175/200(Plus .15 per Bonus AD) plus 3 times magic blade passive bonus magic damage.

--------------------------------



Staying at their position? Didnt quite pickup that one... What do you mean by that? Also .05 ad scaling for that attack? Should increase that a little... Or give it something like a stun, crit chance or i don't know what else. Also 20 second cooldown is pretty huge. Should lower it to 12-15 seconds.

-------------------------------



RAS. I like this ability :P Still, you didnt write cooldown, and it is vital since you dont have any ressource.

--------------------------------



Supress for 2.5 second? And imune to skills? Euh... That is really really really really powerfull... It's like fiora ultimate that supress a teamate... Then again, Vestic don'T do much either during all that time, but I really do think this is not balanced. Could be ok if vestic can still be auto attacked and damaged but is immune to croud-control, and if this is a chanelled ultimate. Otherwise, just no.

--------------------

Now let's look at base stats.

I'm not a specialist, so all I can say is that your guy looks more like a bruiser/tank. You need to specify his abilities and tell what they do. If you give him a good bunch of cc, i'd say your stats are good. If you only make his abilities do damage with poor ad scaling, he won't be of much use in a fight.

So there you go. I dont know if this can help. I tried to be as constructive as I could. This is a nice champion, but as it stands, he is not fit for the league of legends. Nice skills, nice ideas, but needs to be more precise. You need to clarify your abilities so that noobs like me can understand them by reading them (at least a little...) The lore is okay, but you need to write it better (lots of mistakes and things that I don't understand too well.) Good work overall, but you still have some work ahead of you to make this viable.

Hope this helps out, Ambir

Thanks for the reveiw.
With the second passive, that is passive once you unlock his ultimate that goes away if the ability is activated.
On the rest I see you are coming. Staying at their postion means it isn't like Yi's Alpha strike hwere he attacks and ends up in the postion he was in before, instead he stays at the postion of the attacked champion.


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