"Yo bro, there's only 1 way to play the game. MINE."
This non-satirical post is dedicated to all the incredibly intelligent and insightful humble persons who attempt to tell everyone else how to play the game at every opportunity.
Not only is it refreshing to hear your opinions on everything all the time, but also inspiring and commendable. Your great originality and morale-boosting tirades are my favorite part of the game and do not in any way detract from my enjoyment, nor does your concise vision of the game narrow the experience into a stale and repetitious slog toward endgame, whereupon your classy conversations involving the word "noob" are a delightful read, especially given how you have reached the nadir of "pro-ness".
Thanks for the memories, you paragons of greatness.
"Yo bro its like this, Ima play my boi Tryndamere or Darius and you gonna deal with it.
We need a tank to jungle, I don't wanna see no Rengars or assassins or nothin', your job is to flash into my lane and set the kill up for me. Yo don't be Alistar your passive will f*** up my kills. I need my kills, yo. Be Malphite man, be Malphite.
Someone else pick support and go bot with a ranged AD carry, yo. Yo support loser, pick Blitzcrank and go 0cs. Do a grab and a knockup and a silence but don't get the kills, aight? You have a shield that makes you support, be Blitzcrank, noob.
Yo AP guy don't get counterpicked. Don't get counterpicked bro. Bro. Bro. Yo what are you stupid everybody counters (whoever you picked). Can you play Cass? Yo WTF, do NOT pick Lux or I will dodge your s***. All Lux does is KS with ult. B****.
WTF you doin man, (whoever you picked) is the WORST ranged ad carry ever. Dude dodge so someone can play Varus or Ezreal. No, Varus. Play Varus next time, stupid."
In Game, (27 dodges later):
"Yo I watch all the streams, we got this if I get fed, we got this. Malph gank my lane when u get blue. Use your Q and exhaust man. DUDE WTF WHY DID YOU GET FLASH?
Yo I need a gank. Bro. BRO. GANK, NOW.
Dude WTF y r u not ganking? F***ing noob Malphite I'ma have to carry so hard.
Bro I am level 4 and not one gank WTF. Don't jungle if you are gonna suck bro.
LOL you gank sucked bro, glad u died.
WTF BLITZ HIT A GRAB ALREADY. Dude u missed more than 1. ok bro cool story bro. Dude I have no kills because our s*** jungler is not ganking plus he stole my kills. That's why I went back in bush. STFU VARUS EASIEST CHAMP EVER KEEP TALKING. God FML. Noobs.
STFU CASS I NEED FARM. IDGAF. U GO DEFEND TOP TOWER THEN.
NO its called i need cds more than u. F*** off Malph. F*** MALPH AND CASS F***ING TAKE BLUE FROM ME I'M AFK.
IDGAF NO SUCH THING AS KS.
LOL im not gonna die 4 u idiots im here 2 win not keep u company.
4 BTS is more pro than ur gp5 itemz idiot
just surrender u guys f***ed it up 4v5
YEAH TRYND FTW, ALL ME NOOBS"
Tbh this almost never happens to me. Am I just really lucky? Usually if I see anything its "stop feeding noob" (which, generally, they are doing by being a glory hound trying to get kills and getting themselves killed).
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