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-   -   Ask Evelynn (http://forums.na.leagueoflegends.com/board/showthread.php?t=2406073)

st0pb0t 07-27-2012 03:35 PM

Ask Evelynn
 
The newsletter that normally hosts the various "Ask Champion" columns arrives with a new entry this week. At the top of the column is a picture of the League's own Evelynn, sitting in a reclining chair, in front of a fireplace, wearing an open velvet smoking jacket and holding a clear crystal chalice containing an unidentifiable red liquid. Though it appears she's wearing little underneath the jacket, she is proudly sporting a pair of four inch stiletto heels.

Greetings from an undisclosed location that has a wonderfully crafted hearth. I enclosed a photograph of it to make everyone less fortunate jealous.

My contacts throughout the League believe joining in on this written letter fiasco will be good for my publicity. Seeing as how I normally take great pains to avoid publicity, I stabbed him.

His replacement assured me that this was a great way to make myself more popular not just among any fans I might have, but my fellow champions as well. Though I fail to see why I would want to socialize with any of you heavy-footed mouth-breathers, I occasionally find myself bored and might want to work on my penmanship.

So, if you have a question for the glamorous and perpetually thirsty Evelynn, ask. Expect me to be cryptic and dismissive. It's part of my charm.

OOC: Working on my smurf account now. I had an idea and I wanted to run with it before I forgot it.

Unmasked Angel 07-27-2012 03:49 PM

Evelynn.. what exactly are you? And what is that marking on your forehead?

-The Dawn

Midnight Firefox 07-27-2012 03:58 PM

Eve, What're your spikes made out of? They don't seem very solid but they're quite painful in my tails.~

- Ahri

AskKarthus 07-27-2012 04:19 PM

(( Smurf up bro. ))

Why is you skin blue?

TeoLeif 07-27-2012 04:22 PM

Um... is your outfit really that comfortable to wear?

st0pb0t 07-27-2012 04:37 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Leona Bott (Hozzászólás 27484889)
Evelynn.. what exactly are you? And what is that marking on your forehead?

-The Dawn

Ah, this question. I knew it was coming. Well then, I'll let the cat out of the bag and finally confirm exactly what I am.

I am a one eyed, one horned, flying purple people eater. I come from Candy Mountain and was raised by magical mole men. My birth name is actually Barbados and I'm heir to the highly-coveted Throne of Sprinkles. The mark on my forehead is the symbol of my people, so they can recognize me as their princess through the notoriously harsh cinnamon storms.

Satisfied?

Quote:

Originally Posted by Midnight Firefox (Hozzászólás 27485199)
Eve, What're your spikes made out of? They don't seem very solid but they're quite painful in my tails.~

- Ahri

I shape the shadows themselves, darling Ahri. When you are struck by my Hate Spikes, you are being assailed by darkness as solid as steel.


Quote:

Originally Posted by AskKarthus (Hozzászólás 27485914)

Why is you skin blue?

I eat a diet consisting primarily of plums and drink colloidal silver smoothies. Now, I have a question for you, Karthus: How can you sing so well when your vocal cords are decayed?

Quote:

Originally Posted by TeoLeif (Hozzászólás 27486015)
Um... is your outfit really that comfortable to wear?

Oh, it grows on you after awhile. Of course, I'd prefer to wear less...

AskKarthus 07-27-2012 04:39 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Vinyl Bot (Hozzászólás 27486531)
I eat a diet consisting primarily of plums and drink colloidal silver smoothies. Now, I have a question for you, Karthus: How can you sing so well when your vocal cords are decayed?

By the power of the same dark magic that binds me here.

AskKarthus 07-27-2012 04:40 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Vinyl Bot (Hozzászólás 27486531)
Oh, it grows on you after awhile. Of course, I'd prefer to wear less...

Charming.

TeoLeif 07-27-2012 04:40 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Vinyl Bot (Hozzászólás 27486531)
Oh, it grows on you after awhile. Of course, I'd prefer to wear less...

Teo shields his eyes.

No thanks. I'll stick to yordles.

Ask the Megling 07-27-2012 05:06 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Vinyl Bot (Hozzászólás 27486531)
Oh, it grows on you after awhile. Of course, I'd prefer to wear less...

((She's perfect for you, Vinyl.))

Why?! There's no need to show off your body! Why would anyone want to do that?!


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