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-   -   Rammus x Malphite (http://forums.na.leagueoflegends.com/board/showthread.php?t=2087435)

Jagz The Mighty 05-03-2012 09:52 AM

Rammus x Malphite
It was a spring day like any other in summoner's rift. The sun was beaming, the birds were chirping, and Baron Nashor was napping in his cozy lair.

An epic battle was about to begin, and the summoners prepared themselves to summon Valoran's mightiest warriors into battle.

On the blue team it was a top lane Yorick, mid Viktor, Taric and Graves bot, and a jungle Rammus.

On the purple team it was Garen top, Annie mid, Janna and Vayne bot, and a jungle Malphite.

Young Rammus was ready to do battle, but a strange emotion fell over him. He felt so empty, as if his battles for the League of Legends were only for other people's enjoyment. He was the Armordillo, and while he always carried protection, he felt as if there was a chink in his armor. Something deep stirred in his heart, an emotion he never felt before. It was longing, for he was the only one of his kind.

Without saying anything to his teammates, he quickly scurried over to the wolf pit so he could begin his rampage through the jungle.

After clearing the jungle creeps, he decided to go in for his first kill, feeling rather depressed and unmotivated however. He decided to go top, after hearing that Yorick was having some trouble (LOL it's fiction, play along).

He then curled into a powerball and sped over to top lane, but when he got there, he stopped dead in his tracks. The man who controlling the top lane was unlike anything he had ever seen before. He was 8 feet tall and made fully of stone. Chips and erosion were marked all over his rocky body. He was a true warrior that was certainly one of a kind.

Rammus approached and his in the brush, getting more and more excited watching The Shard of the Monolith lay waste to the minions and his teammate Yorick. Yorick was getting closer and closer to death, and kepy glancing over at Rammus, hoping for a kill initiation. Yet Rammus could only watch, transfixed by the stone warrior.

Suddenly, Malphite charged in and knocked malphite in the air, killing him. Yorick's summoner screamed at Rammus for not assisting him, but Rammus didn't care. He walked slowly and seductively over to Malphite and taunted him, forcing Malphite to hit him.

Every hit excited Rammus more and more, and Malphite could easily see it. He looked at Rammus and felt a unique connection. They stared into each other's eyes, one outcast to another.

Malphite looked at him and said, "Are you getting your rocks off on me?"

Rammus, an armordillo of few words just looked at him and smiled.

To which Malphite replied, "Rock solid."

Then they began passionately kissing in the bushes. Rammus' spikes became stronger, and they chipped away at Malphite's rocky hide. His heart felt like it was going to burst with all the emotions he was feeling.

After making out for awhile, Malphite looked at Rammus and said, "Do you want to go all the way?"

Rammus looked at him, with sparkling eyes, and said, "OK."

They began making unholy and dirty love, uncaring about the outcome of the battle. To them, the only world was the one they had in the bushes. They felt as if their magical moment was a time that would never end, but all good things must come to an end.

A red ghoul came into the bush and began clawing furiously at Malphite. Another ghoul came, green and noxious and began doing the same. Yorick then came and smacked Malphite in the head with his shovel, which summoned another blue ghoul.

Malphite only looked wistfully at Rammus, as he crumbled away. His eyes seemed to say, "How could you, Rammus? How could you....?"

He then died in Rammus' tiny arms. No longer living, or inside Rammus. Rammus looked up at Yorick, with tears in his eyes, and watched as Yorick laughed and grinned.

"Nice taunt, Rammus! It's about time you came! ;)" he said, with Malice in his voice.

Broken and crushed, his first and only love dead and gone, Rammus felt no need to continue the never-ending fight on Summoner's Rift. He slowly walked over to Baron Nashor's lair, and looked above. The menacing dragon only stared back, waiting for Rammus's move.

Rammus punched Baron in his lower belly, and took the full brunt of the assault, committing suicide, and leaving his life behind...(for about 45 seconds).


Jagz The Mighty 05-03-2012 12:09 PM

If i get enough upvotes ill write more! :D

Grand Viper 05-03-2012 12:14 PM

Pfffft ahahahahahahahahahahahaha, ah ha! Ha! Okay, okay, you get a +1

Green Earth Guy 05-03-2012 05:40 PM


They began making unholy and dirty love, uncaring about the outcome of the battle.
Best. Description. Ever.

The Nice Boat 12-09-2012 08:39 PM


AerithRayne 12-10-2012 11:26 AM

"Suddenly, Malphite charged in and knocked malphite in the air, killing him."

Otherwise, thanks for the great laugh during my break XD

Nemis007 12-11-2012 06:13 PM

Omg. Best thing i read all day.

FatDrunkenDwarf 12-12-2012 11:58 AM

Lol, this actually made me laugh so much. Especially thinking of Yorick hitting Malphite in the head with a shovel. XD

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